If you knew then what you know now....

You're welcome!

Tam, from the perception I've gotten from you, you sound like a good mother and I'm sure your son, if not now, but later on, will appreciate all you've done for him.

I sometimes wish I was closer with my siblings as well. I tend to speak to them through email or text and see them on rare occasions.

 

if i knew what i know now about women id be so much farther in life ah well

 

i agree with you joanie.

at times i wonder...what if i never met my ex, i know i wouldn't be here in australia, i would be working and living o's...but then if i hadn't of met him i wouldn't have h & d. i think we all go on the path that is meant for us at the time so we can benefit from it...we may not see it at the time, but there is usually growth and learning from all the choices we make.

 

You live and you learn.

 

Exactly. And if I hadn't met her Dad and gone through what I went through, I'd be repeating the exact same cycle of controlling men that I had done previous to him.

As they say, "everything happens for a reason". I'm much better off now emotionally and mentally and spiritually than I ever have been. Financially, though, not so much. But you win some and you lose some. :smt003

 

Since I didn't have children with my ex, I can't say that it was the best decision to marry him. But I've learned several important lessons:

Never take your partner for granted - ensure they know you love them and cherish them EVERYDAY.

If you need your partner to do or stop doing something because it causes you distress or would make you so much happier - ask them to do/stop doing it, have a discussion.

If a man starts a relationship as a non-talker (ladies you know what I mean) he can be trained to talk more and open up a bit but it will always be challenging.

If I knew then what I know now, I never would have gotten married, never would have moved for his work, and I would have pursued my own dreams 10 years sooner. But then again, not having done that stuff, well who knows where I'd be today....

 

If I knew then what I know now,I wouldn't of played around and blew thousands of dollars on strippers.All that money was suppose to go towards music,recording..etc when I was in my 20's. Also, If I hadn't dated so many bad girls in the past maybe I would be married now with a family and kids.

 

Zombie thread bump

 

All. Of. This!! I was also 15 when I met my kids dad, and stayed for 15+ years. I live for my children, that's a given, but if I could go back I would have not settled down so young and had kids so young. I would've traveled and really focused on my education. I think it's so easy as a teenager to be blinded by love, when in reality what makes us feel happy/content at 15-20 isn't always the same things that would make us happy/content at 25-30. Life would just be too simple if we learned all these lessons at a young age

 

There are many decisions I should have made differently, maybe, but I honestly don't regret anything. I was reacting out of my heart, all the time, I was suffering sometimes because of it and sometimes I was feeling extremely happy. It was and is my way I have to go, what I've had to learn, I've had to give. Regrets are senseless, the past you cannot change and shouldn't steal you one second of your future life. Everything you regret maybe today... change it tomorrow...if you cannot/ don't want - you shouldn't regret, because then it's simply not you

 

If I knew then (about women) what I do now, I would certainly have been less successful in life, because I would have committed a lot more time to them when I was in HS and College than I did. My naiveté about women as a young man was a blessing in disguise which allowed me to focus on education/career, and to stay out of trouble.

As it turns out, there was plenty of time to figure women out and begin having serious relationships.

 

If I knew everything would happen to me now, I personally would like to start all over from scratch with all the knowledge with me and be able to accelerate my personal growth and be a better person.

 

I second this. If I knew then what I know now, I would have run screaming when my ex-wife first introduced herself to me.

 

It always comes down to this.

I do not for one second regret my children.
I regret that I made a poor choice in a reproductive partner, that because I was so young I couldn't be a better parent at the time and that I let go of so many things to make my marriage work. Things that would have benefited both myself and my children.

But the children themselves?

All very, very, very, GOOD things.

 

Well said. My son is my motivation for doing most of the positive things I have attempted in my later life. Just wish he had a different mother.

 

I think there are quite a few people who have this same sentiment about their child's other parent. While my ex was not the best husband, I wouldn't trade him as the father of my kids for anything in the world. Our babies are his life. I'm incredibly grateful for his dedicated presence in their lives. I can't imagine how frustrating it'd be not to feel that way about my kids other parent.

 

It's incredibly frustrating