can you forgive and when was the last time you did it?

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yes, thats right. Al sharpton talked about it.

it made me think. can u forgive?

should you forgive?

why or why not?

when was the last time you forgave?

 

the saying goes men never forgive they just forget
women forgive they just don't forget:smt012

 

To refuse to forgive is like drinking poison & hoping the other person will die. Unforgiveness rots our own soul and does little to nothing to the other person

Yes, I forgive. Sometimes it's hard or it takes longer to get to that place, but I strive to live in forgiveness

 

At the end of the day, I can forgive just about anything because I choose not to live my life weighed down by holding grudges against others. With that said though...I definitely don't forget. In my life trust is earned. I don't hand it out freely and I don't give it back once you've betrayed it (if you fucked me over once, I won't put myself out there to allow it a second time).

I can forgive you, I can even play nice in the sandbox when necessary...but we'll never be on that level again. It's that simple.

 

Forgiveness is overrated.

Too many times, people seem like they have lost their hypothalamus somewhere in response to an action. Trust takes a long time to get back, but even trust can be misplaced.

 

Forgiveness doesn't have to mean extending trust again.

 

Hear hear

When I'm working on forgiveness it can take a hell of a long time to get to that place where I'm at piece. It comes in blocks.

And once you've betrayed my trust..I will never give it back to you again. It takes a long time to establish that trust with me and not a whole lot to destroy it.

After its been broken..and I've repaired that break in me
I can treat you in a civil manner but it will be abundantly clear that once it's been broken it can't ever be fixed to a previous level.
You will feel it. I'm not mean by any definition of the word. I am however very cool and aloof.
Short and to the point.

 

By giving somebody another chance, you're only making yourself open to another [possible] deception.

 

huh?

 

Behavior takes time to change.

 

This question often makes me wonder, what exactly is forgiveness? Once someone does something to you, I don't think you can actually forgive them. You may (damned auto correct) not be filled with rancor, but I don't see how you can totally get over it. It seems like it goes from active bitterness to latent bitterness, but not actually vanishing.

 

truth!!!!

I'm still mad about
like I said men don't forgive.

I also have a hard time understanding between vengeance and justice.
the end action is the same even if the reasons are different.

 

Interesting response

Depends on what the offense was

 

Exactly, you forgive, to be able to rid yourself of a burden that will only inhibit yourself, not the person you forgive. I am pretty darn good at doing that, but you are right, some things may take a bit longer.

I just last week had a deja vu about forgiveness when a family member was diagnosed with stage 4 lung cancer. Long story, but it was a revelation of forgiveness.

 

don't take this the wrong way... I may certainly be heartless when I say this but it is like your family got a winning ticket for cancer or something. geez...


I can see why you ended up where you are with such motivation.

 

Not taking it the wrong way at all, you'll see when you get older. Cancer is sort of a natural extension as we age.
She smoked for 50 years sooooooo and not related by blood. My mother is adopted.. And this is her adopted brothers wife.

Besides, my half sister and I had cancer scares, turned out to be benign tumors, my stepmother who died in AML, was obviously not related. My mothers breast cancer was ER+, which is not genetically predisposed, it's a hormonal cancer generally brought on by age.

So no, no family cancer issue here, as far as I know as I don't know my mother's blood relative side at all and don't really know my fathers side either. Lol

 

I don't know about the natural extension part. However, I haven't really researched it. I am more concerned about Alzheimer. That seems like the old person disease.

 

I've dealt with so many patients with this dx (and their families) and it scares the crap out of me. It weighs on me more than it probably should.

 

How do you think I feel? lol My only hope is that my mother doesn't get it to calm me down.

I remember when my grandmother was on her bed at the nursing room. My aunt asked her who I am. she said let me calculate. In my head, I said calculate what? this isn't a math problem. She had lost a lot of her memories. my aunt ended up saying this is your favorite grandchild. She was far gone. but not so far gone to give a warning to my brother about correcting his ways. proving once and for all that even with Alzheimer people still remember bad things!!!!

 

Most cancers are an extension of age. The 'proof reading system' of the DNA miss translates, and voila, cancer. There is an piece at the end of the DNA read that is called 'telomeres' its there for the DNA reading protein to 'turn' and go back. That piece shortenes as we grow older and more mutations goes unchecked. So cancer is often simply a result of aging. We didnt live this long before, we died before cancer was a real threat to our bodies.of course, we have other issues as well, with more use of mutagenic agents as well. But by large, cancer is a disease of old people. Other than genetically predisposed cancers, which are far fewer than simply old age cancer where the genetic reading simply goes awry.

OK, boring lecture over, its much simplified or it would been longer and borerer. Lol