Online Dating????

oooh Chessy, I'm sorry for you. I find men over 40 very attractive and most of them are pretty confident and gentlemen-like, at the moment I am dating one (he is 53)..oh my goodness in what charming dream he kidnapps me - definitly worth to give them a chance;-)

 

Ha, that's southern Germany. It's the area with Military posts where black American men are common not few. Plus most women are drunk then, that doesn't count.

 

I'm a member at my gym for 9 years now and I go there 1-3 times a week.
The only guys that ever showed an open interest were Turkish and from other Arabic countries. I guess I fit their taste in women.
German men almost never hit on me. I'm either not their type or they are too reluctant. I know I can come across as pretty confident, but I usually don't bite.

 

lol...ladies the gym reference was more to explain why some black men feel that they have an easier time finding someone they like that likes them in other countries.
The gym is actually the WORST place to meet someone….for both men and women

 

Ok.......
Sorry but you don't make sense.
It's like I would tell someone "if you want to meet ladies who are well educated, go back to school and take some classes in xy".
Then you say "I did that and I never met anyone nice/interesting."
Then I say "Duh, the school is the WORST place for dating"..... :smt104

 

lol....it was an off reference....If a person wants someone in shape they would have a better chance going to a gym than church/library . But most people don’t realize that its not a good place to meet anyone, since women tend to be uncomfortable because of sweat, large hairy men, etc….and guys probably stink. The gym being worst place was me being silly/playful although I remember reading in an women’s article that it is among the worst places to approach a woman



At the end of the day…for me, TDK, and few others on here….and every black man I can think of…..traveling has benefits that we feel we don’t have here….at the least not in abundance….but again…I can say the same when I go to Portland/Vancouver….

One of the other interesting issues I had with online dating is when I changed locations. Here in MI…I am lucky if I get 3-4 emails a week and if I email 10 women I will be lucky if I hear back from 1-2..(As TDK said a lot of women state on their profile they don’t date black men)…..but as soon as I changed it to Portland I was getting 20-30 emails a day. And if I emailed 10 women I would get a response from 5-8. So fellas, it aint just America…its WHERE stateside that matters as well. The Midwest and the South are HORRIBLE in my experience.

 

LOL, I see.
But honestly, imo there is absolutely nothing wrong with a sweaty muscular guy :smt007
I just would think it's akward if the attraction isn't mutual and you would have to run into the same person whenever you work out.
Like that one guy who kept approaching me asking if I hit the sauna afterwards....I had no desire to see him without clothes :smt087

 

Yes, yes, yes! A sweaty man is a delicious man! :smt077

 

lol, most women...well....most that I know do not care for sweat....or muscles for that matter.

 

Exactly!

Yes please:



But if he looks like this, I'm out LOL

 

^^^^YUM! The things I'd do to that first man...mm mmm mmmm!

As a woman, I hate sweating...but on a man, it's ridiculously sexy! Yum!

I agree with you about the muscle thing...I don't enjoy a man with noodle arms, but by no means do they need to be ripped. Be fit and I'm happy. And if you throw in a few tattoos, I'll pounce on him!

 

Oh, CD, I never said I didn't find men over 40 (or 50) attractive. The age range I prefer is 45-55 (because I'm in the middle of that. Somewhere. ) and that is the age of men I've dated. But these are the guys I referred to that seem to have a different idea of what a relationship is (I'm being nice by phrasing it that way). Maybe it's time to change it up - the cub who approached me yesterday is 16 years younger than me....but that's scary! I mean, projecting into the future, I'd be ready for a nursing home when he's just retiring!!

It might be my area, but while I live in a smaller city, it's a diverse city and I do see a fair number of IR couples. I don't think I'm super picky. There are one or two things that are must-haves and I have preferences, like anyone else. But I try to be flexible in my search and I'm a lot more forgiving than some of my friends are. I've been attracted to men with different careers, financial status, physique, some have been married, some never married, etc. While I think I have a physical type, I don't necessarily limit myself to that. It's his personality and ability to capture my mind that will really hook me. (But I do love kissable lips, dark brown eyes and nicely defined biceps! )

Side note: My date last night blew me off. I could tell I was getting blown off by his excuse and when I spoke with him, I could hear background noise that let me know he wasn't where he claimed he was. He was someone I'd dated briefly before (he's my age) and is the brother of the guy who was dating one of my friends and was hitting up other women too. *smdh* WHY come out of the blue and tell me he still thought of me, would like to see me, makes plans to see me - and then stand me up. Those brothers are a class act. But this is what I mean - both men are in good careers (avionics), have been married before, the brother has his PhD and was a teacher before he got into IT/avionics, both are affectionate and like to give compliments. They have good qualities. But they're deceitful! :smt099

 

Seriously??? I mean, I kinda like the teddy bear type - stocky, maybe I would say. But I do like a guy with muscles. I just figure I wouldn't be his type. If he's committed to fitness and keeping his body in shape, he's not gonna want a full-figured woman who has to be dragged, kicking and screaming, to the gym. (No, I'm not that bad, but working out is not one of my favorite things to do.)

 

You speak great truth my friend.

 

Lol, not being coy my friend, just relating my past experience. Hell I have not been single for over 20 years so I cant really speak to modern single life.

 

Fair enough sir

 

Maybe he just wanted an ego boost, seeing if he could still get you if he wanted to. I know that sounds childish, but I've known guys like this. They lead women on just to see if that door is still open should they ever want to walk through it again. Either way, it's shitty of him to seek you out then blow you off. At least you still have the youngin to enjoy the heck out of!! Precisely why it's nice to have a few eggs in your basket

 

And guys wonder why we are so cynical and disillusioned....

 

Women do it too. Just take it as an opportunity as time saved rather wasting it with an asshole.

 

Not saying that you mean me, but it wouldn't even occur to me do something like that. And, truth be told, I didn't expect it from him.

I am getting to the point (and my friend said the same thing last night) that I just don't trust men. And I NEVER wanted to get to that place. I refused to get bitter after my divorce. I can understand meeting someone and you just don't click. That's ok. (But even then, just be honest and say so.) But when you are repeatedly misled or played or lied to, it eventually takes a toll.