Dating someone with NO job or dead-end job-thoughts..

So, i've been single for the last 6-weeks and i've noticed a trend with the last 3 people i have dated. They were either unemployed or had no ambition.

Where do you all stand on this topic? Patience, tolerance levels, assisting-motivating them, experiences, etc.

My last ex lasted for 5 interesting months. She is from europe; a bit of a globe trotter-impulsive person. Basically, i paid for everything, clothes, rent, food, entertainment, which wasnt a problem but got old fast.

We did nothing but party non-stop and go out for 3-4days a week in la-hollywood areas. I wanted her to have a sense of independence so i attempted to help her find a job and she resisted...She was even admittedly lazy and did not want to work.

My family has warned me in the past about dating any woman who couldnt hold her own.

 

I never have done that. I think it is ok to do as long ou are not footing the bill. Shehas a daddy already let him pay it until he unloads her on you. lol
My old work colleguages once said he needs dumb guy to unload his daughter on because she is costing him too much. don't be that guy gentlemen!:smt004

 

Generally I don't care if a woman has a job or not, but for a similar case like the one you spoke of then yes I would expect her to contribute financially. For me, its all about what makes sense. If she has no job thats fine if she is not "high maintenance". If she has materialistic goals and expensive taste, then she should be working toward financial prosperity. Basically, her desire for splurging should match her ambition/work ethic. However if she chose to refrain from the workforce she would still need to have a hobby and contribute in other ways. I do not enjoy the company of lazy folks. :smt011

 

^^well-said. She must contribute in some way. If she's atleast look in' for a job (genuinely), that's fine too.

I have friends that say "I'd never date a woman who doesn't have a job", but would expect her to date him if he didn't have a job. Talk about being a hypocrit!!!.........lol

 

Depends on why he's not working. If he's just temporarily unemployed, yes. If he's a slacker with no ambition or can't hold down a job, no. I go to work and even when I've been unemployed, I temped. I take care of myself, but I can't afford to take care of him too, at least not long term.

 

That's the way I view it. Jobs are hard to come by these days so if she's looking for work and just can't find anything that's fine but laziness and not wanting to work is a different story entirely. On the other hand, the last time I didn't have a job I just didn't date at all. I didn't want to be involved with someone and then not be able to contribute to the relationship. It just didn't feel right.

 

^^ This right here.

 

Having experienced struggle to get a foot into the business world,I do have understanding for a man going through the same kind of struggle of trying but not succeeding to find employment.
If he never even tries and just doesn't want to ever work,that is a different story.

A dead end job is still a job. Not everyone may set their goals in regards to career very high,but as long as they do their best to keep the job they do have,I don't see a problem.
Maybe they have different kinds of goals than career-ones ,which they are trying to achieve.

 

Love is not enough. Love won't pay the bills.

A partner who makes excuses not to work, to contribute to the union, unless it's because one partner is raising/watching the kids, or have some sort of physical/mental disorder preventing them from working, then that is a huge selfish character flaw.
It will lead to long-term arguments, and ultimately fracture the relationship.

 

Personally, I am quite ambitious myself. I work hard and run my own business. So I am naturally attracted to men who are also hard working and ambitious. I can understand if a man loses his job. But I would expect/want him to pull himself up by his boot straps and find work asap. Or be humble enough to work for me.

 

No couch potatoe for me..he must do something..if he doesn't need money,fine.. he needs not to work, but he must have a goal, ambition or a hobby that keeps him busy

 

Don't think you need to be actively dating if you don't have a job. Out of work, fine. I know the economy is bad...shouldn't be spending what money you DO have unwisely. I don't believe in sponging off of anyone else, but that's just me...

 

HA! Thank you for some common sense! People tend to dance around this topic. It's really that simple and as you get deeper in relationships and possibly children enter that equation; a part-time 24hrs a week job or going through the motions with no career goals just wont suffice.

 

No job no love? Rough but true

 

This would be the deal breaker for me. I wouldn't discount a man just because he's unemployed, however if he had no ambition, determination, drive, goals...I don't think we'd have enough common ground to make it work.

 

come on you two...you are gonna get used thinking like that. they need to bring sdomething to the table.

Im with you on that.

Bliss you are my girl. I agree all the way

You have to be a mathematician..... if they arent adding to your life ...subtract them

 

For me that something does not need to be cash. I could make the extra cash myself with the right woman supporting my moves. By simply gathering the right information for me and organizing it while I am busy with other shit, a woman can free up enough time for me to make more money while working less hours than it would take me to do alone. Its the small but necessary details that cost me entirely too much time.

 

There it is!! love will not pay the the bills,if you can not contribute or have no ambition to do, then i have no place for you I do agree it will lead to strife in the realtionship and at some point one partner is going feel that dead weight..and agreed the relationship will fail

 

Was that where we went wrong TDK............ I didn't have a job...











I have dated a jobless man, he was making an effort to find a new one though so it didn't bother me. I was unemployed (by choice) for six months and it didn't cause a problem for the guy that I was dating. It all depends on the circumstances as to why they don't have a job I guess.

Bliss is right though, love doesn't pay the bills.

 

I can dig that