Rapper Eve on interracial dating: ‘Black men have been doing it for years’

Most of the "heat" is in their heads. Most BM don't give a F*ck who you are with so long as they aren't trying to hook up too. Eve had to bitch about it in an article for people to even think about it. However, if you look up Essence Magazine with Reggie Bush on the cover BW flipped in forums because he was with a non black woman at the time. I think the very next month they had Halle Berry on the cover and not a F*ck was given. LOL... Figures.

 

+1

 

I had a whole response to this typed and lost it. Maybe, in light of other comments after, it wasn't necessary. We will always disagree on the weight thing. Our experiences have just been different.

I more or less get the same thing as a WW. I should date WM because I'm white, my family is white...um so? Lol.

This is very helpful and illuminating. Thank you.

I can totally understand the parenting thing. I read something (and posted about it in another thread) about a poll of young BW and what their aspirations were when they got out of high school. I'm sketchy on the details, but one thing I took away it was that a number of them simply wanted to have babies and go on welfare. When asked why it was "because that's what my mother and grandmother did." What seems like irresponsible behavior was, to them, following tradition.

 

In a nutshell

1) They believe that Black men "failed" them by not elevating them the way they perceive White men have elevated White women. They believe that White women are considered the most beautiful and most desirable and Black women ugly and least desirable not because of anything related to aesthetics, but due to White women being associated with white men, who have more power than any other race of men, and themselves being associated with Black men, who are descendants of slaves.

This mindset fails to explain where White men came from (white women give birth to them) and why no other race of women (Arabs, Native Americans, Asians, etc) treat their male counterparts the same way as Black women do theirs, even though those other races of men don't have resources on par with European descended men and some have similiar histories of being conquered by Europeans. It also fails to explain why...

2) Of the "Big 4" demographics in America (Asian, Black, Latino, White), Black men are the only group in which the men are clearly more desired than the females. Asian women are more desired than Asian men, while White women and Latinas seem to be equally desired as their male counterparts.

The damage is twofold because not only does it hurt their pride (which I can't say I blame them for that - but I do blame them for the way they behave about it), but it also limits their ability to attract desirable partners, which is why a big emphasis is placed on who Black men with money date. The scorn in this case may be more of a case of subterfuge, designed to denigrate and downgrade Black men so they would look less desirable to non-Black women therefore giving themselves better access (for those who want Black men). Also it allows them to play the victim, a victim waiting for a knight (and a White male Knight mostly) in shining armor to rescue them (for those who want White men.)

 

Wow! I've never heard this before....if true, I had no idea. I mean, a number of men have referred to "white privilege" and not only was I truly unaware of it, I'm still learning what it's like to see WP from the a black man/woman's vantage point. Any time I'm made aware, I feel like I've been sucker-punched.

I can't say I blame them either, but the tendency is to turn that pain into nonchalance or anger. What, in your mind, would be a better way to handle it? There are still many, many BM that prefer BW, despite the attitudes that the men here have described. And the reason I hear most times, is they admire a BW's strength and backbone. So the thing that seems to turn one man on, turns another off. (My ex bf, despite having a lot of complimentary things to say about me and the way I treated him, still went back to dating BW.)

 

The key word was "perceive". Doesn't make it real, though it is real to those who feel that way. My own perception is that it is an aesthetics issue. Yes there are historical events that shape tastes and preferences just as there are some natural things, things that sociobiologists and psychologist have yet to fully understand. There are other groups who lack power and privilege, yet the women are considered desirable and beautiful.

I won't pretend that I fully have the answers, but I will say what they are doing isn't working. I think they should try and create their own niche of romantic/sexual appeal that is independent of Black men and forge an identity that is not based on hostility or undermining another group they deem as "competitors" (mostly Black men and White women) and based on highlighting their positive features.

 

Beautifully stated. I have come to more fully appreciate the beauty and sexual appeal that BW have and you're right: they need to focus on promoting that without denigrating others.. I actually feel that BW have an edge on WW. I guess for the same reason I think BM have the edge on WM.

 

Keep in mind he may not have gone back to BW because they are stronger or better. He may have dated BW after you because he grew up with the same shitty attitude from his mother and if she was the main caretaker than that is what he relates to strength and femininity.

 

Hmmmm. Food for thought....

Personally, I believe he is just simply deeply attracted to BW on a physical level. Nothing wrong with that. He made a comment once, though, that puzzled me, but in light of what you wrote above, maybe now makes sense. (Although I think it was more due to the influence of his ex-wife rather than his mother.) He said with a BW, he "knew what to expect." I guess you go back to what you know, even if it's undesirable - because that's your comfort zone. :smt102

 

Unfortunately, I have seen the exact same behavior in abused women. Food for thought.

 

Absolutely.

 

I think more white men and black women should date, and so should more whites and blacks with Asians, Latinos of every racial mixture, indigenous, aboriginal, bushmen.

 

I'm looking to get me an Eskimo chick....you know all the blubber goes to the right places.

 

Comedian D.L. Hugeley said on the show Politically Incorrect with Bill Maher,"If world did more fuckin' and less fightin', we'll be all right."

 

so much win in this thread.

cogent and concise as fuck right here!

 

That was so, so wrong.

Bingo!

 

hell yeah cosign on all of the above. bw are really quick to get in front of a mike and diss bm. of late i have seen backlash for that. example, Oprah had a show about single mothers and why men arent around. not suprising BM was getting their asses whipped. BUT, oprah and the other 2 co-host was slowing the steam roll. espoecially with thios statement "Men (referring to all men and why they dont come around) dont like drama....they will stay away from it....."

the tide is shifting where women are calling other women out for their bullshit...especially BW.

or he just liked that particular women and not because she is black

 

That's what I was thinking

 

I might agree except that he was never comfortable with the fact that I was white. I am the only white woman he dated. And he admitted to still having feelings towards me, but the IR thing just didn't fit. He always felt like people were staring & judging. I think he will always prefer BW.

 

Or he'll always care what people think. Weird that a grown ass man still gives two shits but it couple be where you live because up here people don't bat an eye at two men together so a bm with a wm isn't much of a shock.