Hate or Dislike?

This. I reserve the word hate for things or behavior & attitudes rather than the people who exhibit them.

 

I would call them pet peeves personally, but I wouldn't go to great lengths to say hatred. Unless there's an instance where civility is thrown out the window and you're compelled to choke a motherfucker with some vice grips.

 

Pet peeves are tolerable.

Behaviors you can hate: infidelity, drug abuse, alcohol abuse, violent behavior, thievery, lying, deception, sexual abuse, emotionally distant/reclusive, etc.

 

Since you put it in that context, then...fair point.

 

I was taught that to genuinely FORGIVE someone, is to FORGET what they did. Otherwise you haven't truly forgiven them.

 

I like the word hate. It hits harder.

 

I disagree with that. You can absolutely remember something done to you, but without the malice or bitter feelings it might arouse. Remembering certain things help you avoid making similar mistakes. For instance, my former sister-in-law (also one of my dearest friends, at the time) betrayed me in an unthinkable way. (She is the one person I came closest to hating.) It took awhile, but I worked my way to forgiving her, however, the friendship was forever broken. While I will never forget what happened, I can remember it without anger or bitterness.

 

I completely disagree with this. I think it depends on what you mean with'forget'. Use it strictly in the sense of intelligence, excluding emotions. You should not forget, so that you don't allow it to happen again. If you forget, you don't learn from your mistakes.
Forgiving is a sence of letting all emotional stuff go in reference to whatever action needed forgiveness

Also dislike and hate are not the same. Different definitions. I found a nice explanation between the two, but I can't copy that on my tablet.

 

"TO FORGIVE AND FORGET" <------ a trusim.

To me to TRUELY forgive is to forget. Otherwise you are still a prisoner to that act if you live your life toward them with "I will NEVER FORGET! Are you being truthful now when you say you recall what she did to you without ANY iota of inner weariness/bitterness/resentment, conscious or otherwise? The fact that you say the friendship is broken shows you have not TRULY forgiven her. People like to claim forgiveness all they want, your actions speak louder.

 

Re-read please. She said "STRONGLY DISLIKE". For the third time and throughout my replies, please note the word "STRONGLY" which I referred to. Frankly that is pretty much hating dressed up all southern style, lol. This PC stuff is disingenuous.

 

Well, she & her hubby (my ex's brother) had threesomes with my ex. Would YOU want her as a friend? And there's more...but we won't go there. Simply put, I can relate that information now, laughing at how Jerry Springerish it sounds. I have forgiven her (we talked through it), I hold no malice against her (in fact, recently, she almost died and I was very upset by the ordeal she went through) and if I saw her, I would greet her in love. But she violated my trust in a huge way - I cannot be close friends with someone I don't trust. (That was probably TMI, but you understand the circumstances now.)

If you let someone stay at your house & they steal the silver, you'll forgive them, but you're not likely to let them stay over again.

 

Here is another thing on the subject of forgiveness. Someone had just committed a really stupid act against you one day. It hurt so bad that even the offender has no idea how bad the offense was. You see that person again and they say,"It's all in the past. Why don't we just move on? Or, at least have a sense of humor about this?" This person didn't say that they were sorry about what they did, nor do they want to look back or acknowledge what they had done. It happens a lot on the job or school campus. One has to wonder if the offender is sincere about their intentions.

 

How is it PC?
Strongly dislike is still not the same as hate, its still called dislike aint it? Two different things.nth at is my opinion and not some PC bllshit u want to label it as.
Thanks for calling me disingenoius. But I forgive u for that

 

Why is being pc looked upon with such aversion? Do we really want to to be that uninhibitted when we express ourselves even when we are not impaired? Perhaps there should be a thread on whether or not we are pc. Maybe there was sometime ago. There is nothing wrong with being pc, as there is nothing wrong with being a conservative, liberal or middle of the road. It's all up to the individual.

 

UM, wasn't calling YOUR OPINION that, I was calling Ches's that. :smt016

You I forgive because you thought I was addressing 'dislike'. She was saying "have I ever hated, no, but STRONGLY DISLIKED!!!! yes!"

That my dear, is the PC crap I was referring to. :smt025

 

Terrible situation you went through, I remember you telling me about it.
Huge violation of trust. I would not forgive someone for that. I think people think that if you don't automatically forgive (whether they have expressed remorse or not) it means you walk around bitter muttering, whereas I see it as you don't respect me and therefore don't belong in my life (if you're a non-relative).

Let me say firstly, that the term 'forget' isn't that the memory magically disappears - that's virtually impossible for the simple fact we use our memory for many things - it's that you have unequivocally forgiven them, and resumed your relationship with them as if it didn't happen. A leap of faith, so to speak.

Your thieving example illustrates my point. Yes I have had that happen, and they have stayed with me millions of times since then and it no longer crossed my mind because they asked me to forgive them and said it would never happen again. So I did and washed my hands of it. If she did it again, then there was no more forgiving.

 

I have hated two people ever in my life. It involved my children and the abuse they were experiencing.

The word hate doesn't make me cringe because its one of those overused words that has lost it's meaning. The emotion of hate, however, is an awful wasteland of poison and sickness. Not a place I want to ever be in again. Therefore, my conscious choice is to not repeat it by reinforcing those feelings of helplessness and anger. Accepting what happened and then releasing the emotional attachment to any outcome is what eventually healed those intense feelings of violent hatred. With that said, I'm not entirely sure I have forgiven these two women for what they did. I wouldn't physically hurt them..but it would take a better me to not go off on them.

Disliking someone, even strongly, does not equal hate.
At least not in my opinion based on the experiences that we went through.

As far as for situations and things..IMO it comes done to a meter of preference.
I don't dislike or hate tofu. I just have no preference for it.
I don't dislike or hate windows computers or android phones. I just prefer other products.


(Not exactly sure how you would explain the difference between the two but there is definitely a difference.)