How Many Dates Before the First Sexual Encounter?

I didn't say there was anything wrong with it..

I guess I'm just a sexual person... I don't have a timetable I make a guy wait.. things just play out by ear..

 

I agree

 

Pretty much...

 

There isn't a timetable, and you're right, age has something to do with it and personally has tempered me a bit. I have had a few one-nighters, Donna and I did it the second night. I felt when I was younger that let's just get this sex stuff out the way, since it's all a game and a facade, we both know what we want. So why bullshit?

I still feel that way, but I am a little more patient (okay, a little more coy). I actually had this discussion at work (human resources wasn't there ). Really I was talking to a girl who was 25, who asked me about this. I said, you hold the key, and its your decision on when to give it. You're the chooser and we're the beggars. But there's so many times a guy can beg.

I hope that makes sense.

Peace.

Black Tiger

 

I'm patient to a point but if I'm not getting any vibes after maybe 4 or 5 dates I move on.

 

Re:

OmahaBoy2003 Wrote:

"I'm patient to a point but if I'm not getting any vibes after maybe 4 or 5 dates I move on."

I agree with you 100%, Omaha Boy. I'm a patient guy too, and I'm trying to be as patient with this woman as much as possible, but if at least by the 4th-5th date, she doesn't give me such an opportunity, I can't keep on waiting. By the way, the third date, which I hoped would take place this weekend, never happened. I was trying to see if we could get together on Saturday, but she said she had other plans for the night-she was going out with her roommates. So I called her back and suggested she let me know what weekend day next week may work for her.

The one thing that I at least appreciate about her, regardless of what she may be up to, is that she always returns my calls at least the next day. But things seem to be going just a bit too slow...so I might as well consider taking a chance talking to the other woman Iat my gym who I mentioned earlier...if I get to see her again-although nothing is guaranteed.

 

Re:

I came across a Russian article today that I think has to do with this question. It describes myths that women believe about men, and they are commented by a professor/researcher who is employed by the psychology dept of the Moscow City Pedagogical University and who holds a PhD in psychology.

Okay, here goes my translation

Myth: IF HE LOVES AND VALUES ME, HE WILL COURT ME FOR A WHILE AND WILL NOT TRY TO GET IN MY PANTS RIGHT AWAY.

Comment of the psychologist:
It all depends on his upbringing, character, personality and the circumstances. In reality, men make conclusions in a situation quite quickly: he realizes that he likes the woman and is ready for action. Alas, women's feelings take a lot longer to ripen, because the woman has to do some self-searching. A person cannot eat faster than they eat, and a woman cannot feel something before the feeling is ripe in her. That's the core reason of many conflicts between the stronger and the fairer sexes. An intelligent and experienced man will never rush a woman and tell her from the start: I want you. To that, she may answer: and I don't want you. The situation will be in a dead-end. Quite possibly, some time later the woman will begin to value and will fall in love with the man, and at that point, no matter how much he will tell her that he is no longer interested, the woman will not believe him. Unfortunately, at that stage, things cannot be helped.

I once had an experience when I developed the strongest crush on a man after knowing him for a couple of years and not paying any attention to him. I kind of noticed him check me out, but I didn't pay attention to that either. Then it suddenly hit me that he was the man of my dreams - but that idea came from observing him, unwillingly, so many times and seeing how he acts, noticing little details about him - you need time to connect the dots.

Just my 2 cents.

 

Too many men pretend to love with the hope to get sex - and too many women offer sex with the hope to be loved for it, but in a matter of fact, it's a no-win situation if you are searching for a sincere relationship.

My response to you would be:
Good luck and don't let the door hit ya where the good lord split ya!

 

Any woman who says she wants to wait until marriage to have sex steer far away from. It may not be worth the wait.

By the third date make your move if she is not interested look elsewhere.

 

I did that.. with my second husband. He wanted to wait and I was trying to be a "good christian' at the time... obey the rules.. so we waited..

what a disapointing wedding night.. he didnt' tell me he couldn't get it up..

which is why now I would never again not try out the equipment before agreeing to the "I do"

 

Well, there is a middle ground somewhere between waiting till marriage and being blackmailed to jump into the bed with a guy.

 

Excuse me but this thread is about having sex not making love because to make love to someone you have to be in love or growing in love with the other person. If we're talking about just having sex, well there's really no time limit, I've had sex on the first date and I've had sex with a women a few dates later but for me the most important thing is to at lease have a talk with the other person about their thoughts on sex, mainly how sex relates to them.

 

If a woman doesn't atleast hint that she wants to fuck me after the first meeting, I assume she's not really into me and bounce. I ain't got no time for prudes.

 

I understand people wanting to wait...and have even heard many folks proclaim the 90-day rule. The problem I have with this is, what if you wait so long, develop feelings for a person, and then the sex is bogus or you guys aren't sexually compatible. Time wasted for nothing.

 

:shock: 90 days??!? I haven't heard that before...I would probably internally combust. As an adult, I have the freedom to fuck on the first date if I choose. If the attraction and chemistry is there...lets get it on.

Sex and sexual compatibility are huge in a relationship, so I might as well learn early on if we're in sync. If we have different sexual styles and tendencies...I doubt we'd be able to keep eachother satisfied. Might as well know up front.

 

My sentiments exactly. I'm not hung up on waiting. Nor do I just how quickly people choose to or not to sleep with someone. I slept with my ex on the fist date, and we were together for 3+ years after that.

 

It all depends on chemistry. If the feeling is right...go for it..

 

Personally, I would rather wait. If the subject of sex comes around in conversation, or there is a physical action like a touch and a mutual desire, it can happen at any time. However, it must be mutual with me.

 

No set number of dates,it just depends on the vibe.

 

Shiiit if I'm not cumming by date 3 its not gonna work. In fact my worst relationships go in order of the longest time wait to shortest time waited. Any girl trying to make you wait fellas is playing fucking mind games. She will give that ass up quick to a dude she deems worthy of getting it quick. Making you wait is her way of calling you a chump.