No one's talking about Steubenville?

I read a stat that women in the U.S. armed services were more likely to be raped by a fellow soldier than to die in combat. There's another stat, I don't know in what branch, that one quarter to a third of military women in theater are raped.

I think rape for many guys is about a sense of entitlement more than a pathology. There are unfortunately countless 'normal' guys who have the potential to become rapists in the wrong circumstances.

It's not just the degenerate sexual predators who rape women.

Rape can be as simple as bringing an intoxicated woman back to your apartment and having sex with her without her spoken consent.
THere are guys who know that's wrong but at the same time don't have that big a problem doing it.

Before I went to college my mom had a 10 minute convo with me about the definition of the word 'NO'. I thought she had lost her mind, until I had an experience where I was literally about to insert in this chick and she changed her mind. It scared the shit out of me.

There are guys who still would have fucked her and convinced themselves she either had it coming or didn't really mean it when she said no.

 

Your stats are correct. And you are right about the sense of entitlement BEING the pathology. Many years ago, a survey was done at Ivy League colleges. When asked if they would rape a woman if they knew they could get away with it, more than a quarter of the men said yes. Think about that - the only thing keeping these guys from raping wasnt their own internal moral compass, it was fear of the law. Pity the woman they run across who is 'dressed wrong' or drunk, should they think her circumstances would prevent her from pursuing a case against them. That's one in four. As women, we don't know WHICH one.

 

Maybe it's being a BM and my paranoia about ever being arrested, but a woman has to give me VERY clear sexual signals, like, 'Let's fuck,' if it's a hookup situation.

I think most people really have no clue how many women are raped by acquaintances and they just don't even bother to report it, which is tragic.

You know we live in a rape culture with the GOP candidate for the U.S. Senate from Missouri tried to explain the difference between 'legitimate' rape and 'fake' rape, which Akin tried to suggest was just sex between friends but wasn't a violent assault.

 

:smt038 :smt038

 

So a single study is representative of how men think?
Well based on the study thete goes your education theory

 

No it isn't entirely representative of all men, of course not. Don't miss the point in your rush to be defensive. You don't need to be, not with me. I'm a feminist - that means I think men are capable of behaving like gentlemen even in the presence of a hot naked woman. It means I don't blame rape on the woman provoking the man by going to the wrong party, having cleavage or getting drunk.

 

Really?

And what stat might that be, since women are excluded from combat/the front-line. Clearly this stat is inapplicable. If you both want to bash blame our military men for rape, at least come correctly.

 

In regards to women going to parties dressing in a way to get male attention its not aboit blame but some level of respondibility. I should be able to walk the streets of the south bronx and be safe but thats not the case. The same way I should be cautious doing something like that women should be as well. Its not fair and it shouldnt be that way but we have to deal with what is.

 

In this this war, there is no front line. A lot of our military women have been in combat situations. I know some of them personally.

http://servicewomen.org/wp-content/uploads/2011/03/DOD-Releases-2011-Report-on-Military-Sexual-Assault.pdf
In FY2010, there were 3,158 total reports of sexual assault in the military. The DOD estimates that this number only represents 13.5% of total assaults in 2010, making the total number of military rapes and sexual assaults in excess of 19,000 for FY 2010.

Rape in the US Military

This isn't new information, it's been all over the news for about five years. There have been a tone of lawsuits.

 

Thanks for taking this one on, TreePixie.

Missed you, by the way.

 

LOL, I expected you to miss my point entirely and try to come back with rape figures in the military of which I am extremely aware of, so once more, read what he wrote, what you co-signed and what I wrote and COME CORRECTLY. As I said -
There are NO such comparative stats as what he declared BECAUSE WOMEN DO NOT BY MILITARY LAW ENGAGE IN LIVE COMBAT. It's not rocket science here.

Of the RARE few females who ever FIND themselves caught up in live combat like your friends you claim, the number is so negligible it is ABSURD to compare it to rapes in the military in an attempt to falsely sensationalize that 'rape is so damn rampant, she has more of a chance of getting raped than getting killed in combat. Well no shit if the other stat is non-existent. Where the hell is your deductive reasoning?

 

Except for one, every female vet I know who was in Irag or Afghanistan was in combat. No, we don't give them combat pay. But they are routinely sent forward to deal with women in those areas, drive convoy trucks over IEPs, etc. There IS no front line there. And if the DOD says rape is rampant, it is. Google military rape statistics and read for yourself....the number of links you will turn up is staggering. In the military, btw, man on woman rape is common, but man on man rape is also staggering in its occurrence.

 

What are you not getting? HIS (unsubstantiated) STAT is bogus. I already KNOW there is rape in the military.
Women are not on the front-line - driving a truck is not the frontline, IEP's or not, nor is it so because you say all of an enemy country is the frontline.
Please go watch our male soldiers in combat with our enemies and tell me they aren't doing the majority dirty work and risking their lives to with-in an inch of it. I know you want credit given to women for every last thing, but in this particular one no, sorry.

For my final time, don't give me false comparatives - you said his stat was correct - now cite me this so-called official stat.

 

No one said there aren't more men there. Women only make up, what, 15% of the military. But the level of rape is astonishing, and it is by our guys. Choosing to go into the military should not put women on the front lines in a war where the battlefield is their bodies. http://www.cnn.com/2012/06/21/opinion/speier-military-rape/index.html

 

All I can say to this is war is absolute hell. I'm not going to presume what its like to be under that type of never ending stress and what break with reality some of those men go through. It lends to the idea that maybe women shouldn't be in combat. In a perfect world it wouldn't be so but we are talking about death and destruction at every turn in those situations. Are those numbers just for wartime or peace time as well.

 

Wow. How about men should be taught that rape isn't an appropriate response to death and destruction at every turn, whether the targets are fellow soldiers or civilians?

The rate is high. And this has happened when women are in basic, many times. It appears not to be restricted to overseas.

 

Rape doesn't even have to be about brutalizing a woman. Sure, stranger rape is most likely that way: to brutalize a woman.

But a woman (or man) can be raped and not "brutalized".

I, for one, was date raped last year by the married brother of a coworker. I was drunk, he made several passes at me, I told him no, repeatedly. He just fed me more alcohol and had sex with me at like 3 in the morning when I was too drunk and tired to resist anymore.

I wasn't brutalized, but that's not the point. I made it CLEAR to him that I wasn't interested, but that didn't stop him.

It can happen at any time, to any one.

I should have done things differently, but I didn't, and it happened to me.

 

There you go again with the word taught. Until you can show proof that the men are ignorant of the fact rape is wrong it's not a good word. It takes away from your argument, unless you have another definition I'm not aware of. Maybe heavier consequences for rape might be a better deterrent because those who are inclined to rape aren't unaware that its wrong that simply don't care.

 

Sorry that it happened Book. Did you report him? And I really appreciate the fact that you can see even though you should have never been put in the position to begin with there were things that you could have done differently to protect yourself.

Before the "don't victim blame" crew comes out I'm not being insensitive I have just come to realize that no one and mean absolutely no one is going to protect you better than you. You simply can't rely on the morals and good will of others to keep you safe, we live in a nasty unpredictable world and we must be vigilant and aware. Rape is horrific and no one should go through it but instead of trying to educate men maybe its better that women educate and protect themselves. Just like I can't wait for racism to go away, I can't hope that some people figure out that its wrong to discriminate against people because of how they were born, I have to do my best and work as hard as I can to get the things I want and need because there are no hand outs for me.