When you joined this forum - what was your story?

I joined soon. My story as i am divorced have kids and wanna go and esplore some new options.

 

My Story

Ok...here's my story....I am in my very first relationship with a black man and let me say....it is amazing!!!!! I have only been with white men my entire life. I found this forum hoping to find people to talk to that were experiencing similar issues. See I am from a vey small town where interacial relationships will NEVER be accepted. I have always known I had an attraction to black men even as a teenager, but that was not and will not EVER be accepted in my family. I am now in a relationship with a black man I went to high school with, whom I had my eyes on way back when...lol. We have kept our relationship between us and not yet went public due to the hardships he knows i will face. He strongly believes that once people know I am in a relationship with a black man, my world will be turned upside down, I will lose frienships, possibly my family, even be looked differently in my career. He fears I will have regrets considering this is my first black/white relationship. Deep down I know he is right but I love this man. Being raised in prejudices I have always been taught "you stay with your own kind" to say...This relationship has opened my eyes to a whole different way of seeing things. Now I understand that love sees no color. I love this man for the man he is...never even considering his skin color. I know Im rambling...but it is going to be nice to hear from others who understand. I have two childhood friends who at first I could talk to about my relationship after a while I felt like they were trying to be open-minded but they too just didnt understand....Now if I try to bring the subject up...i kinda get just a blank stare...like girl what are you doing??? Anyway thanks for accepting me into your group and I look forward to learning and growing in my new relationship. I must say I have never been happier and fulfilled yet confused at the same time...:-(

 

welcome!

 

how long did it take u to break away from the family? when you're depending on them, it's kinda hard to do otherwise. many people find it easier to go IR once they get their own lives started. shouldn't be that way but, well..you know how cutthroat parents can be. When I was a teen, my mother literally forbade WW from coming home. Asians, latinas..blacks..anything was OK unless she was white.

 

If this dude is respectful, handling his business and loves you then the rest is up to you.

No doubt there is a lot of ignorance out in the real world, but you have one life and its yours at the end of the day to make your own choices.

You can't live by the preferences and whims of other folks. Never that.

As you stated, the guy you are with you love for who he is, not his skin color. So clearly you have seen qualities that appeal to you about him on a strong personal level.

No one else has to walk in your shoes so never give folks the power of choice over your decisions in your life.

 

Never say never! I could've said the same about the town I grew up in but when I went back to visit family over the summer, it felt like IR couples were "everywhere". Probably about 5 couples, but still, there's only 3000 people living in the town/surrounding area. Maybe someday your area could become more diverse, when not expected (wishful thinking, but yeah).

Welcome to the forum!

 

Welcome! I wish you two the best!

 

1. My current status is separated, soon to be divorced.

2. IR has been my whole life for as long as I can remember. I belonged to another site very similar to this for several years, but I drifted away from it because I got busy, a number of the friends I made on there left, and then my marriage fell apart. But getting close to a lot of men and women whose focus was IR was a wonderful feeling, and I'd like to get that back, albeit with a whole new group of people.

3. not really applicable at this time, since I just joined.

My soon to be ex is a WW, but I knew that my next relationship would also be IR because that is just who I am. These things take time, though. I am more interested in making new friends at this point than "hooking up". All things in good time, as they say.

 

Welcome TB :smt003

 

1. What was your "status" when you joined up?-I'm new here and so this is where I am, I am currently single and finally being honest with my attraction for black men. I have one particular bm that I am fascinated with but He is not interested in dating ww.
2. What were you hoping to get from this forum/site?
I want an opportunity to be around other people who understand my bm attractions, become comfortable dating, and interacting with men in general. I am out of practice. I also want to make friends with other ww that share my dating preferences.
3. Has either of those changed since you joined?
I recently joined so nothing new here.

 

Long time coming

I was born with an attraction to black men, except, I was raised in a close minded house hold. "You can have as many black friends as you want, just don't date em" So I never dated. My first relationship happened (when I was 30) with a white guy to shut my mom up, and I was miserably with him for 11 years. My parents both died in 1999, and when Obama took office, I took an oath to live my life MY way, and started dating black men. I am single, and looking, but have never been happier in life now that I have to chance to date someone who makes me happy, and I am attracted too. (sadly, white men do NOTHING for me).

 

Hi, they call me Big D, what is your name?

 

Hi Big D...I'm Ellen

 

Hi Ellen, welcome to the forum.

 

Thanks...still feelin my way around....hoping to feel like I belong soon.....

 

what are you feeling? hahaha :smt079

 

Lost and annoying....

 

I started reading the forums a few months ago. At that point I was in an IR relationship. As of a week ago, that ended in a change your phone number and check your credit score kind of way.

The only thing I'm hoping for is interesting conversation and maybe the occasional dirty talk. :yawinkle:

I've always been attracted to BM, but I was in an almost 20 year relationship, so I didn't date around much. Now I'm 42 and exploring my true needs and desires. Before this last fiasco, I previously had a one off that encouraged me to explore an IR with a BM more.

 

I think we can accomodate you on that score, fireykitty! :smt110