Good Things about being SINGLE

You don't have to be single to enjoy all this. Just find someone who is comfortable with giving you space and has their own life. Someone who is actually your friend so that time spent with them enriches your life experience. Don't get me wrong being single can be awesome but I don't think it has to differ when you're with someone. The only thing I will agree with is you do save money but that's possible when you have mutual goals and are trying to achieve something. Me and my girl have a 50 dollar a day budget. I had to sit her down and explain I have student loans to pay off and if we are truly thinking of a future together we might have to sacrifice some things we want now for things we'll need later. Communication is important as well as a person who truly understands where you're coming from.
The only thing I miss about being single sometimes is meeting new women more frequently. It's fun to meet attractive women but its a lot more fun to spend quality time with a chick who gets you and allows you to be yourself at all times.

 

Thanks Miss Jordan,,,, I googled it when I saw this thread and wanted to add it as I had read it before....

I do however agree with a lot of it but also know that I love love and would prefer a wonderful relationship where fabulous memories are created, but will always be ok and make the most of the happiness that is the single life too....

 

Do you firmly believe in what the article stated?

 

Pretty much... I am one to celebrate whatever 'status' I am.... There are positives to being single and certainly positives to being in a relationship... but for now,,,, I am single and agree with the points made.

 

It certainly depends on the time of life you're in and if you have things situated in your life.

Part of me does hate the idea of people just being *too* casual. IDK...one of my friends was with this girl and she stated that he would be someone that she would want to be with when she's 30. Why let something great just fall through your fingers? Seems trite to me and definitely an immature mindset.

But I'm 28, going on 29 and look for more adult relationships with women. Then again it'd be 'fun' to be casual a bit, but is that the wrong mindset? What if I find that perfect one for me and I have been a manwhore previously. Would I be good for her? Likewise, I wouldn't want a woman that can go somewhere local and you meet someone they slept with. But I might be overthinking things as usual.

 

Lightbulb moment.

 

Blackbrah you are such a deep thinker.... but thats what I like about you... As for the manwhore statement, that made me giggle a little... I believe that someones past dating life is their own business and it is only what they decide to do now, with me, that is important. I don't do the whole casual sex partners thing,,,,, I have never been into that, I prefer a monogamous relationship...... I have girlfriends who for years have been only into casual dating/sex and it suits them. I have and would never judge them for it either,,,,, if it suits you and you are happy doing it then go for it, if you don't think you would be comfortable then don't start...

 

How people act in their past is an indicator of how they act in the present and future.

I mean, do drug addicts or thieves wake up one day and just think, stop, and say I'm not going to do those activities anymore? Maybe an extreme example, but I hope where you are getting at. That's why guys correlate a woman's # of sexual partners to a 'good girl' or 'bad girl' status. That's why people say "Once a cheater, always a cheater" b/c their past indicates that they are not to be trusted and will cheat on someone again given the opportunity.

Same when men/women 'settle down' after being promiscuous for a while. It is usually because they can't get away with what they used to usually due to age and they snag someone who will take them after being used up in their past or being hurt too many times or can't play their games anymore. Okay that's a bit morose but whatever.

I don't expect an angel, but damn at least have some dignity for your future mate's sake.

 

Fair enough point Blackbrah, but I do believe people change their ways of life all of the time.... One of my girlfriends who lost count of her casual sex partners is now married, completely faithful and they have four children together.... She only changed her mindset after she met him,,,,,,, guess he was worth giving up what she thought worked for her and what she thought she wanted.... So in my eyes, although she had probably a hundred partners before him, she changed her ways and never looked back.... They are an interracial couple too by the way and I love seeing them together and their children,,, it is just beautiful.. He knows of her past and never judged her for it, his belief was, what happened in the past was before his time so it doesn't matter...

 

It could be different in love. Also not judging is just misdirecting blame of incident. How many times can you do something and say it isn't your fault or blame it on external sources?

Honestly though I probably wouldn't judge anyone I love, but I would understand and see the best in them. But I think in some situations a person's past can affect future relationships a lot. My friend started this 'relationship' with a girl at work who had a series of one night stands previously, but they talked a lot. Long story short, this relationship lasted a week, but I believe it was due to personality problems, but I know that in some of my experiences a person who is sexually validated in a relationship and ONLY knows that will not appreciate the other aspects of a relationship and that will affect the relationship.

 

Sigh. Another black guy willing to wife up a chick after she gave away her pussy like free lollipops at the doctor's office what a beautiful story
:roll:
It would be nice to hear a story about a chick who actually chose a bm before all her options dried up lol

 

It is a shame you can't see past her sexual choices. If it was him would you say the same thing?

How do we ever really know about our partners past anyway?

 

Its different for men and women. I know in our pc culture we try to paint this androgenous picture where men and women are the same but we're not. Both having a lot of partners results in high risk for disease but usually when women have a high number of sex partners theres also a psychological factor to it. Your average woman doesnt want a hundred dicks in her they usually want one person perfectly suited for them. We're wired differently.
And as its been said before its interesting that a lot of ww find love bm after their vest years are behind them.
And btw youre right you really cant know how many partnwrs your partber has had but when you hear a high number like that you should bounce

 

I have mixed feelings about the single life...on one hand its nice to have liberties to do what you want to do without having to worry about how someone else feels about it. I have been divorced for about 2 years, so I am enjoying meeting new people and the pleasures of dating. I see now how much I deserve to be happy and see things in myself I couldn't see before. I value myself and my time more, have more time to focus on my talents and especially my children.

I do miss the connection with my significant other, sharing my time with someone special...i miss the feeling of being secure. I miss being held when o go to sleep at night or being taken care of when I'm sick.

 

I could not have put in any better. I feel the same way.

 

:smt043:smt043:smt043

 

They married and they have four kids TOGETHER they are super happy. How is that used up?

It would be nice if you could let others live and let live and not whine on a continuous loop on behalf of others. Do you.

 

He's a much better person than I am. For me, that would fall firmly in the "I know you have a past, we all do... I don't need to know every single detail of your past" category.

 

Or as we've discussed you could put me on ignore and quit YOUR whining.
Besides being married doesnt indicate he got a treasure just someones used car. 100 partners? Come on kid thats the very definition of turning a ho into a housewife

 

You a virgin?

Quote where curley says she had a 100 partners. I don't see where she gave a number.

Why don't you just quit being ignorant and people won't have to put you on ignore??!! :smt071