Random Conversation 2.0

Really proud of myself. It's been since August 12th when I walked gracefully out of the door without looking back, after giving Rastaman a sweet hug and a gentle kiss, and have not contacted him since - have not texted or called. There is no good reason why he cannot contact me if he wants to. I expect that he will at some point, when he gets done with being retarded, but probably at that point I won't give a flying fuck.

Proud SO proud of myself for keeping my dignity in this case, after telling the man that I cared for him, and very nearly losing it over him. *this close*, but I kept it together. Let the other broads go psycho over him - I will be the one that left with grace and kept my head held high.:smt059

I have lost 15-20 lbs in the process and will keep going, with the lessons that I've learned, to find a more worthy man. And yet I pray for him. Because I care and I have love in my heart. I will find the right one eventually. Someone who will realize my worth.

 

Nurse! Nuuurse! You forgot to give this one her meds.

 

Dude you are are just a manwhore. Shut the fuck up. Go stick your dick in another slut and call her a slut but don't apply the same label to yourself, you damn hypocrite.

I am doing a great job with my life. I am proud of myself because I have goals, talent, insight, and intuition, which is more than anybody could say for the likes of you. Yes I have to take medication but that is not my fault. I am operating on a deficit but STILL I do better than you. I don't take advantage of people who are below myself.

I have to take medication the same as nicole has to use sign language because she can't hear. But you don't mock her. I have a chemical imbalance. People need to stop making fun of those who have trouble with the balances in their brains. It is not fun.

 

Please dont rope in nicole, she is a sweetheart and not delusional. She doesnt have to tell us she is hot or has an ass that men crave to smack, neither does she tell us she picks up strangers and take them home. Now i never said sluts are evil, i was defining sluts and i even said i aint mad at them so whats hypocritical about that.

 

No, it is not.

On the other hand, being a certified card carrier, I do try not to high light my imbalance.

And I wll DIE before I EVER let it win.

Oh. Hell. No.

It kicked my ass every single day for many years.
And now as a payback, because ultimately, karma is a bitch, I kick its ass. And I take it's name. And then I redefine it.

Fuck brain imbalances.

It is a war that is worth waging.

And I bring it to its knees every single day so it cannot bring me to mine.

 

Everyone on this forum fucked up in one way or another. Lol

 

Now we have the truth. I have a chemical imbalance and so does Appiah, which explains why he has targeted me so many times.

I only made Nicole an example because she has an obvious physical disability. Nothing more. I am a sweetheart too... but you wouldn't know that because you just see the nastiness you want to see in me, which is nothing but a reflection of yourself.

People with mental disabilities and imbalances go through so much grief and pain, so indefinable, so hard to pin down, so misunderstood, so judged, so stigmatized.....it's very difficult to deal with. We look normal on the outside and have to KEEP the appearance of functioning as a normal person when every day it's a difficult task to just keep moving.

 

Lol, or maybe this forum fucks up everyone in one way or another.

 

Hmmmmm. Lol

 

I don't have to use sign language :wink: But I do get where you're coming from, just... it's a different form of 'disability' (I use this loosely, I consider myself culturally deaf, for me I don't see it as a disability :smile: ).

Appiah, thankies :smile:. But how do you know I'm not delusional? I might just do a good job at hiding it...

In some way though, having many similar experiences as SA... cut her a break. Two nights ago? Drove a friend to the airport, when I went to her area there were a bunch of black men outside. Got out of the car to hug my friend, and then the guys started waving at me (probably seen the sign language, knew talking was worthless :razz. The "stories" SA tells with getting so much attention, I can vouch for... I get the same thing here in DC. It does happen, just not all of us share. I share the happenings with my roommate, because half the time she sees it and she gets a laugh at it.

The sleeping with them part... I can't say anything on that, I've only ever smiled and waved back before going on my way. Like I said though, the attention SA says she gets... it does happen. Just because she gets all the attention doesn't mean she's fucking every guy that does give her such attention.

This isn't a dig at you, Appiah just... I'm tired of everyone putting SA down for the things she says on here. Maaaaaybe there's a little too much detail and it goes overboard sometimes, but she can post what she wants to post. :smile:

 

Nicole what she says is so delusional and over the top no one believes it and you know it you are just being the usual nice sweet girl that you are. You on the other hand do not have to say anything because its obvious from your pics that men especially black men will checking you out so if you said it here it wouldnt be delusional at all. By the way your polka dotted pic is my screensaver on wednesdays, thought you should know.

 

Fine, it might be over the top, but it could happen. That's all I'm saying, some chose to share, and others don't .

Lol, so I'm your Wednesday girl, hey?

 

"Today’s patients, discontented, unhappy, fragmented and confused by an increasingly frantic, alienating and violent society, come to psychiatrists for help, only to have their illusions shored up by an increased dose of a technologic fix. They are told they have illnesses that are biologic and can be fixed, instead of being allowed to speak about their unhappiness, to speak about how difficult it is to be a human being, to speak about their suffering, because human beings have always suffered and always will. To believe that we can conquer depression, despair, anxiety with modern technology is the height of hubris and bad faith, a mere childish fantasy, unworthy of any thoughtful person who has their eyes open to human history and modern culture."

– David Kaiser, M.D.

http://www.academyanalyticarts.org/fores.htm

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Thoughts?

 

Fixed.

 

In other words Nicole...

You gots the goods..and we all know that. If you suddenly started posting about how black men could not keep their hands off of you (and honestly..who could blame them?) we would all respond with a lot of

No doubt...


:smt052

 

Lol yes, you are nichole i was born on a Wednesday and its a special day for me so i need a special screensaver.

 

Where's petty hiding? I haven't seen his guns in like three days. :smt089

 

So...

Yesterday our organization had a picnic and some brought our families (I brought my kids). Well, two men I've had relationships with (an ex and a "current") boyfriend show up. no problem...we are all adults so not really concerning.

I am still friends w the ex, which the current bf knows about. I use the term bf very loosely, simply for the fact that we have been seeing each other for a little over 8 months but he's been hesitant about defining or pushing anything. That fact alone is aggravating...

Anyway...they end up showing around the same time so there are no seats open where we are all sitting. They ended up sitting together and end up chillin the whole time at the table... Talking and what have you...

So, I punked out... Should have really gone over to speak to both of them....but I didn't.

Now, I have the current asking questions...like does he know about us?

The ex and I still talk, but not about our personal lives so much because that would just be awkward. We are just friends...and especially I feel like I need to respect the relationship the current bf and I have so I have kept my distance.

so what should I do...if the current is now starting to catch feelings...getting jealous or upset...he has been clear as mud about his intentions. Says a lot but hasn't been following thru...i don't see him often, almost like he wants me but doesn't want to give up being single. I've been letting it go...but it's starting to turn into a buddy thing. Sex is great, but the bf part is not...he's not there emotionally.

I stopped acting like a girl, stopped w the emotions and let him go. Does he have a right to be upset? To be jealous?

Should I push for more or tell him to kick rocks?

What would yall do?

 

Tell him to kick rocks.

Boys suck.. We should throw those rocks at them
(I wish I would have bought that shirt)

 

I hear you! Boys do suck!

I've wasted a lot of time and we should be so much closer etc.
It's so hard cuz It's really liked him and now it's become so :/

I tell him this all the time too...

I may go on and entertain dating someone new.