If you find yourself in a scary movie

Be in a zombie movie. Then you'll survive the entire movie only to be shot by dumb rednecks right before the credits roll.

 

When you walk into a room, always look up first and be prepared to move quickly before whatever it is drops down on you.

If you think you've killed something, cut off it's head and take it with you. Nothing comes back from that. If possible, set it on fire too, just burn the head and body separately to be on the safe side. The fire also works as a distraction to friends/cohorts of whatever you just killed, luring them in to check it out at which point you should have a plan to kill them all.

Do not leave your windows unlocked or open, same with your doors, and that goes for house and car.

Things to always have with you, car with no history of mechanical issues, first aid kit, Mag light (doubles as light source and weapon), matches (don't get them wet, or take a lighter too as a backup), flammable liquid (hairspray will do in a pinch), blanket, comfy shoes (cause all high heels experience failure in horror movies) bottled water (can't fight monsters if you're dehydrated), chocolate (keeps you warm), and a weapon of some type would be nice, guns are great but take plenty of ammo, a knife works but you have to get real close to use it effectively... whatever you do, do not try to throw your knife at someone, the only thing worse than being killed is being killed by your own weapon. A backpack to put all of the afore mentioned in, then don't take it off and leave it somewhere.

 

I hate Zombie movies, things give me nightmares, but if I was in one.

I would

Not hang out in well populated areas, if you're in London make your first priority to get the fuck out of London.....not the last priority

Keep your group small, for survival purposes, hooking up with a large crew that is not quick to mobilise is a death sentence.

Find yourselves some big ass weapons light enough to carry.

An amoured vehicle preferably not a London Taxi.....pfftt

Kill yourself before they start munching into you, don't let them add you too the problem.

If United nations says it's ok to go back to ur country, that the threat is over with the infected, don't believe them!! there is invariably gonna be something they've missed and you're going to be toast.

 

This one had me laughing

 

heck....just don't move to any country in europe of america. seems that is the only place zombies are

 

*insert IR joke here*

Damn Espy, you got precaution on lock. I know who I'm standing beside when Leatherface comes out the butcher shop.

I was dyin' off that high heel part. Shit is so true. Not only does the hell break, the girl always sprains her ankle.

 

After Resident Evil 5, they're in Africa too. But that's a video game so it may not count.

 

Yep i need to scratch that then and say ( refuse to go back to your country and ask for a ticket to Oz instead)

 

Darn it, I did it again! You know I'm so bad about that, I just never give a thought to double meaning. So for clarification purposes I was actually talking about the food chocolate. It really does raise your body temperature.

I am nothing if not prepared BA, and with the exception of the weapon and flammable liquid, I think I have all of the above in my car, plus duct tape, screwdrivers, fuses, tie downs, and a bunch of other useful stuff... and you should see what I have in the backpack I carry with me LOL.

I just realized I do have a hunting knife in the car, and so I'm good on weapon, and you know I'm pretty sure I could tear off my shirt sleeve, drain some oil from my car and set that on fire if necessary.

You know the high heel stuff is crap, they must be buying some cheap shoes, cause I've got heels and boots I can run in and not sprain my ankle. But just in case it's a good plan to have some flats... I keep a pair under the driver's seat of my car cause I prefer to drive barefoot, which is illegal. So again, I'm good.

 

africa now included

just don't bring the virus over here

 

Dont hesistate to kill a muthafucka.
Keep a couple crack rocks around, you never know when you might need energy jkjk
dont fuck with the killers gravesite
If you call out to someone and hear nothing. Then you see something move quickly in the distance, RUN.

 

same if you here 'ki ki ki ki ma ma ma ma' good chance theres some serial killer about to strike

 

Or it could be me just trying to frisk/expletive things you :smt083

 

Whoa, Espy, you're hardcore!!!!


I don't have a knife in my car, but I do have some scissors, although I forgot why I had them there.

Only thing heels should be used as in a movie is a weapon so you can go up to the killer and scream "THESE BOOTS ARE MADE FOR WALKIN'!!!!!" and jam that shit in his eye. :smt077

 

:smt043 :smt043 :smt043

Some of them are pretty sharp. I was on my knees opening a floor safe years ago, and I leaned back as I sat up and stabbed myself in the leg with my heel. Drew blood, hurt like hell, and left a scar for a couple years... of course I'm slightly clumsier than most.

 

Don't touch the leprechaun's pot of gold.

Don't say the name CandyMan 5x while in the bathroom in front of the mirror with the lights off.

A comet falls outta the sky and land/crashes close to you. Don't walk up on it and poke it with a stick.

Don't bury you loved ones in an old Indian burial ground.

 

I dont know about the comet one. Sometimes you get super powers. Thats kind of kick ass

 

True! Sometimes you do get super powers and end up like this guy.


But you better keep in mind that you could also end up looking like this guy too.


It's a little too risky for me homeboy.lol

 

Lol no risk no reward homie