Dating "Beneath" You

Nothing wrong with truck drivers or other works like that ..
and do get good money too ..
i guess some people just dont like the statue of the work but who cares if the money enough for the family

 

I know truck-drivers get paid more than me! You have to also factor in: Child support/ how long he's had his job/ is he saving for a new apartment?/ is he depressed?/ does he have substance abuse issues?/ how often does he work and what is his reputation on the job? Meet his friends, in other words, and listen to how they talk about him, even in jest.

I listen very carefully to what people say about the guy I am dating, personally - the truth comes out between the lines.

 

I really don't understand you)
If he treats you good..
If you feel yourself comfortable with him..
If you really love him and he loves you...
What's the problem, then??
You noticed a lie.. But everybody lies) more or less) depends on a person.

 

TS= the female bird


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That's hilarious.
And she needed time to think? Is she nuts?..Snap that crazy dancing fool up, Miss bird! :smt054

 

The problem is some women are worried about what their friends and society will think about their relationship with a particular man instead of what they(the women) think of their own man. Also some women are more worried about the colour of the collar of the job their man does hence they would be okay with a guy who does a white collar job than a guy who does a blue collar job even if he might make more money than the white collar job guy. In both cases such women are dumb.

 

Agreed

 

Hey all, thanks for the responses. I got caught up at work this week and haven't been able to respond. I've no problem with truck drivers. I have a married friend who owns his own truck and does very well for himself. He is also a former ESOL teacher who has traveled the world and he is an interesting man in general.

I was discussing my issue with another married male friend. It isn't so much the "class" issue that this has been made out to be but something else. He was telling me how, although he loves his beautiful, caring, thoughtful, bartender wife, he can never really ever have an intellectual discussion with her. He is really interested in politics and their political discussions aren't so much discussions as him explaining to her what a given political situation is and her taking his opinion as fact. It is this way with other topics outside of politics. After two years of marriage, my friend very much loves his wife, but he has to go outside his marriage for the intelligent discourse he craves.

This is what it feels like when I talk to this guy. Can two people so different in this way stay together? Is it more acceptable for a man like my married friend to date a woman who can't have many intelligent convos than for a woman in the same position? I've always heard that women are too picky; maybe women should be as willing to sacrifice intellectual nuances as my friend did with his wife.

I suppose this, on top of this guy lying and staying on the friend's couch is what really got to me. Thanks again for your insightful responses!

 

Ur clearly taking the piss, because you can't declare yourself educated and carry yourself like that

 

Wow - how incredibly bitter of you. Someone needs to get laid. :smt020

 

And we're most often paired up with men. Dumb and Dumber.

 

Why does him being a truck drivetean he cant have an intellectual convetsation. Plenty of well educated people arent informed on politics. One of my best friends is a chemical engoneer and knows zip about politics because she could care less about it. There are plenty of people like that. You should talk to a married couple wothout kids and ask them how theyve lasted as long as they have. Itll give you some eal insight

 

If the only place you feel compatible with this guy is between the sheets, it's unlikely you're going to be able to build a relationship on a real solid foundation between the two of you.

'Fuck friends' are called that for a reason.

 

I've talked to him and he can't hold an intellectual conversation. That's how I knew enough to make that declaration. I have no preconceived notion that the career or job someone holds necessarily dictates their ability to intelligently debate varying topics.

All of my married friends are childless which is why I felt confident in this discussion with my friend.

Goodness, this is like the telephone game. Folks have stopped reading my OP and are gleaning information about me from others' replies, opinions, and prejudices.

 

I get what you're saying. I had a date the other night with a machinist. It was somewhat painful. He just wasn't intellectual at all, and I can't do that. I dont need Stephen Hawking, but talking to Elle Woods isn't going to fly for long. One of my requirements is college educated. I don't care if you drive a truck, but if you can't carry on a decent conversation, I have better things to do. I don't care how much money a guy makes at his job. If we can't talk, we can't date.

Anyway, after the date, I explained to another friend and her husband (she's married 10,years, no kids) about how the date went. She doesn't mince words. Her response was "he's too blue collar for you. I'm sure he's a great guy, but for someone else. You need someone more like you."

I'm sure some people will read that and be offended, heck, I was shocked when she said it... And her husband is a blue collar guy. But, she was making the point that I need to date men more like me because I am the way I am.... I love culture, and shakespeare, the theater, music, traveling, etc. It's not about being or thinking you're better than someone, it's just about who you are and who you mix well with. There's nothing wrong with recognizing that.

Hopefully, I've articulated this ok. I'm in bed on my phone and exhausted!

 

Not at all CS. You felt the need to offer up what your friend's wife did for a living (bartender) so its not hard to infer that you associate certain jobs with certain intelligence.
Then just break up with him and be done with it. Seems like you already made up your mind.

 

Shakespeare still sucks!!! lol

 

I have to agree with this. My brother is a prime examples of this: he has never been to college but is incredibly smart, reads the newspaper and can carry on a highly intellectual conversation about current events, science, politics in general, you name it.

And I honestly don't think he's an exception. I know others who can converse quite well and have never been to college.

I also know college-educated people who can't carry a conversation to save their lives.

It's all about how you connect with the person.

 

This irks me. Why can't we look at the person and not the career and money? How disrespectful is that to look down on someone because of something so insignificant.

This guy needs to find someone better, someone who respects him for who he is.



Sorry, but my man isn't rich, isn't well educated and doesn't wear a suit to his job. He's the hardest working man I've ever met, he's intelligent and kind and wonderful. The idea that someone would think he was "beneath" them (or me) because he's not a financial or career success makes me sick.

 

Really loving you right now :smt055