Dating "Beneath" You

Yet some more great advice from Tamstrong...

 

Or it could be as simple as she said it was. People can and are usually that shallow. We see it all the time with break ups and divorces. A sudden change in income or social status can change how you think of the person. Finding out your man is living a life of instability is enough to make most women leave. I don't understand why you're making her reasons deeper than what she told us. Unfortunately most people aren't above discriminating based on income. Its a hard and sad truth.

 

As usual, well reasoned insight from both Books and Tam.

 

Christine, your take, in quotes, you broke down so nicely here, you interpreted the classes in a way that is relatable, it is so accessible. I would have to file this away.

 

A very well reasoned comment. I think the lying should be sort of the real concern.

 

Trust me if he lied the other way this conversation would have a different tone.

 

completely agree with that

 

IMO women's friends and their opinions indirectly sabotage their relationships.
Here's the convo that inevitably happens between ladies when one is dating someone new;' Oh wonderful! I'm so happy for you. So....what does he do?? Where did he go to school?? Where's he from? Does he have any kids?'

If a woman feels uncomfortable answering any of these questions, the relationship is going to have outside stressors pulling them apart.

Just being honest, most women I know would have a hard time dating a man seriously whose place of residence was 'crashing' on his friend's couch and was a truck driver. Sometimes people aren't at a point in their lives where they're suitable to be engaged in a meaningful relationship with a significant other because too many elements in their life aren't balanced. The lying compounds everything. No adult man should feel he has to lie about where he lives.

(BTW there are more middle class, college educated truck drivers out here than most people know. But the lifestyle IMO sucks. I don't think I could do it.)

Being a great person is simply not enough to make someone ideal dating material.

 

Then one must question how meaniful it is. If things are only good when its comfortable how real is it?
Whats that Marilyn Monroe line?
"If you cant love me at my worst you dont deserve me at my best"

 

Everyone's level of comfort is different. Some women are comfortable dating ex cons, others are more comfortable dating teachers and accountants.

The OP has some misgivings about this man's level of employment and and his domestic situation. If it's really bothering her the way it sounds, prudence would advise her to keep it casual and not lead dude along like there's going to be a future with her.

Above all, be honest in affairs of the heart and the bedroom.:smt007

 

Touche

 

Since when are truck drivers considered broke asses. There are many that make AT LEAST six figures. Even if the brother is not an Owner Operator, he has the potential to be one. The OP should work with this guy. If she looks past her own ego, she can upgrade this guy.

 

Also, their relationship would be perfect. He will be back on the road right at the point they get on each others nerves. When he returns, the honeymoon starts over again.

 

THere's nothing wrong with dating truck drivers, or guys who drive sanitation trucks who also make decent money. It's that social status BS that some women have a problem with IMO.

Some women can't get beyond peer pressure and their own insecurities to evaluate what's actually working in a relationship and what isn't.

When I was a kid, my mom came home from work at a major federal agency where she worked and told me two 'shocking' developments that happened on her job; her White female supervisor had just gotten engaged to the Black head janitor!!! People apparently knew they were sleeping around together, but when they announced they were engaged, people flipped.

But it didn't affect her status at work or advancement in her career, until eventually people didn't talk about it anymore.
Looking back, this woman was older, had her own money and apparently this guy made her happy.

The things many women feel are important IMO change as they get older.

 

Couldnt agree more. If the OP cant handle dating dude cause he drives a truck she should rethink dating bm all together. Its not for the faint of heart

 

One of my favorite quotes ever =)

Agreed. I've been looking for a summer job, they're looking for garbage truck drivers... $15-25 an hour right there. The job sucks but the pay doesn't. There has to be something that makes people become willing to work there.

My cousin's husband supported the two of them + their 4 girls on truck driving money alone. I guess it all depends on the area a person is from and whatnot though.

To the OP:
The only thing that would catch me off guard there is the lying (and maybe why he was doing time). I don't think him lying about his living situation seemed like a big thing, he's probably just not feeling too cool about that. Maybe he doesn't want to give off, "oh, let's get serious so I can have a better place to live... with you" kind of vibes?


As for dating beneath me... I wouldn't care really. As long as our needs are met, that's what counts. Not having enough to get by is one thing, having so much money you don't know what to do with it is another. I'd like a happy medium, have a little 'cushion' for spending at the end of the month after money's put to savings and bills.

 

str8 up truth there.

getting good in this thread.

the thing is there isnt nothing wrong with standards its just are those standards realistic and not snobbish. also we have to remember when we ask something of people be ready to bring something to the table besides your good looks and/or your dick/pussy

 

God bless the dude who scoops you up Nicole. Real talk thats a lucky guy

 

jacque reed was busted for being a snob on anderson cooper. she was (as usual) complaining about there are no good black men so they took around and intorduced her to a few dudes...they brought a dude he worked at publix as a butcher (everyone in the audience went wild over the dude for his looks and his convo) but she ditched him because he was a butcher (her mounth stated he doesnt make much). anderson stated he makes close to 100,000 then she shifted I want someone who is accomplished like me...degree and status...but her black ass is on tv manless and complaining

 

You need to fuckin get over yourself.