Why men aren't pandering to women anymore.

Personally, I'll go for sweet-natured, generous (does kind things for me), gentle, affectionate, with major sex appeal (to me - that includes a tall gorgeous hunk of man because that's what I like) over money any day.

As long as he works hard and has his priorities in order, I don't need a man who makes a lot of money. I've never dated rich guys because to me some of them have distasteful personalities (arrogance) and am a bit of a hippie anyway, so I look down on conspicuous consumption and the emphasis on money as the "worth" of a person.

To me, a man's worth is in the way he treats me...affection and loyalty are worth more than gold... Add fantastic sex into the bargain and you will see nothing but smiles on my face all day... walking on a cloud...

I also value a man who can (and will) physically protect me - someone I feel physically secure with. Money isn't worth crap if your dude is the one getting mugged all of the time LOL...

 

Ah sweetie, I already got myself a petite blonde.

Good luck on your search though.

 

Didn't you say you prefer guys that are tall & have a "decent body"?

Hypocrite much?:smt043

 

If you're going to quote me, quote all of it. Or at least read it. *smh*

 

How is she being hypocritical?? Tall could mean just taller than her, and decent body IMO means don't be sloppy with yours.

If you're a man and don't realize this is a baseline standard for ALL WOMEN, you sir need to take a quick trip to the planet called 'reality'.:smt005

She's not describing a male model, just an okay dude body wise.
Some of you get really intimidated by a woman having any standards at all.:smt017

 

The point is we all have standards abd we ALL reduce people to their physical attributes. I rarely see people teying to date the midget with a heart of gold. So this beauty in the eye of the beholder stuff has gotta stop. Like I said earlier it just seems like men are far more willing to relax their standards in favor of long term happiness. Not true of all women of course but its hard not to notice the trend

 

Ches, I would think that most would certainly agree that it is not cool to judge the preferences of others. As far as your comments in bold above, I believe men in general are wired to do just that, at least in the very beginning. Just about every guy I have met would agree with the parts in bold below, of course there will be exceptions to the rule, but I honestly believe men are just wired that way and it's not doing a disservice to humanity.

According to Dr. Paul Dobransky, a psychologist, relationship expert and author of The Secret Psychology of How We Fall in Love (Plume), “In the first five minutes of meeting someone, it’s generally physical beauty that attracts men. That’s actually the very first step of courtship for them.” As he explains, this doesn’t mean all guys are after supermodel-type good looks. Instead, he’s referring to the fact that every man has his own individual taste in women, physically. Bottom line: In those crucial first moments, “It’s not about personality, intellect, career or any other crucial things that make up a relationship. At first, it’s just sex appeal,” he says.


Jordan Murphy, host of VH1’s hit show, Tool Academy, agrees. “If a man is at a bar and he's just met a woman,” he says, “he'll notice her body — all of it, from head to toe. We’re visual beings and a pretty image gets our attention and gets us moving forward with the conversation. Men love what they see — the curves — but more importantly, they love the thought or fantasy of what's hidden."

​

So, what makes real men want to take a second look? The most popular answer might surprise you:


“The first thing I notice about a woman is her face. If she isn’t pretty, then I won't talk to her. But if she has a pretty face, I will start a conversation.” - Joey, 22


“I always notice a girl’s style first. I check out how she carries herself, how she walks, and what kind of vibe I get from her.” - John, 23
“I notice her hair and feet, especially if she’s wearing open-toe sandals. How a woman’s hair and feet look tells me how much she takes care of herself.” - Derrick, 39


“A great body is important to me. I take care of my body and know the dedication and discipline it takes, so I can already tell the same thing about a girl if she has a nice body.” - Dan, 22

​

“I look at her hair first, followed by her eyes. The body only really comes into play after that, and then only if she has remarkable attributes and is showing them off.” – Joseph, 33

 

Loki, I would agree with you and also go one step further and say women do the same thing. It's typically a guy's looks that grab me first but he may not and probably isn't a guy like you would find in some of the pic threads on here. That 6'2", hard body with hella money may grab my eye, but if that's all he has going for him, he won't grab my heart. However, the average-looking guy next to him, with a friendly smile and witty banter might.

 

Precisely. Thanks for saying this, andreboba - my thoughts exactly. I wonder why? LOL

 

Shame on us having standards. I demand one of you men come knock me up and keep barefoot and pregnant and in the kitchen for the next 9 months. Or have any kind of my own idea about what I might like.
Something.

It seems to me "decent body" would imply HWP...
Not necessarily gym membership material but certainly not a size 60 either. I'm not overly picky and personality will win over perfect looks any day.

 

This isn't in regards to Ches but it does seem more often than not that a lot of women "realistically" want men who meet standards they don't.
I've said this before and it still cracks me up to think about it but fat women don't want to date fat men, short women don't want to date short men, broke women don't want to date broke men but you don't find the inverse to be commonly true.

 

there is some truth to this, but i've also got to state that some of the men who contact me via the dating site i'm on have lost touch with reality in terms of describing themselves as "athletic" "handsome" etc. when they are obviously not athletic (unless you consider lifting a fork to mouth a sport).

 

40 oz. double Big Gulp of Haterade comin' up... :smt003

 

baiting much sa? lay off and stop trying to cause trouble

 

My bad - I thought it was called humor :grin:. Unlike some people, in real life I actually go with the flow and don't try to belittle people to make myself feel better about myself. I do my own thing and go for what I want - the cool thing about being focused is that you remove the bitterness and actually find what you're looking for.

Water always seeks its own level eventually anyway - it has nothing to do with money/race/class, but about the quality of human being. Peace and love will find peace and love, while bitterness and spitefulness will find the same...

If you keep being true to yourself and don't worry about what others think of you so much, you will be so happy that people will wonder what you're up to...:smt047

 

Shit you just described me to a T. LOL @ me posting pics from years ago like they recent as my gut jiggles from laughter.

 

Why would you attempt to be humorous with someone you don't like and who doesn't like you? We're not cool on any level why pretend to be?

 

Totally appreciate your honesty and I agree that men are full of shit too.
But the one thing I give them a pass on is they go for the short term hook up instead of the life long commitment which in my experience actually has a greater chance of happening.
A funny guy willing to buy a shit ton of drinks can actually go from Uncle Phil to Will Smith for a night if the woman is drunk and lonely enough lol.
These same guys aren't holding out Angelina like a lot of women are holding out for Brad.
Truthfully I think we all benefit from being the best we can be before dating (increase your chances) and then maintain it as much as you can while in the relationship. The way I look at fitness in both physical and financial health is its a gift to me and its a gift I want to share with my girl because we both deserve it. I want to travel and live well and because she's willing to love me and stand by me when I'm not at my absolute best I want to share it with her. She could easily do better than me physically and financially if she wanted to but she was dumb enough to let me charm her so I want to honor that lol.

 

Good one forgot about that. I actually had a girl tell me she thinks I would be a great father and would love for me to raise her kids with her but isn't sure if she'd have more. Umm what the hell is in that for me again? Oh yeah her great personality lol