Cheaters

This is silly as venturing back into the same dark alley you previously got mugged in, for the love of the forum just let the thread die if you don't agree with the article.

I'll give you 2 reasons why I posted it.

1.Nicestguy was to scared to explain why he was cheating, this article gives a little deeper insight of why people do.

2.I like the article.

 

It's an interesting article but also bait-ish, as arguments which paint the majority of men as unfaithful tend to piss women off.

I've discussed this topic ad nauseum and prefer not to venture back into that territory now, but agree with the premise that males (of many species) are programmed to spread their seed.

 

How many studies or arguments show the contrary I wonder. I know there are plenty of men who are probably content with one woman but is that true choice or circumstance? Interesting premise.

 

Hahaha look at the mouth in Athena. She hasn’t been in New York for a week doing a rotation and she is already acting like a tough Big Apple chick, lol, Stop hanging out with Dre and hit them books, lol

Jokes aside, I do agree with your post. If you are unhappy and miserable with your marriage or relationship then get the fuck out, which is a respectable thing to do than screwing behind their back. Lying, cheating and conniving, all that shit is just plain nasty. But again there is a lot that goes in relationship so without knowing each and everyone's circumstance I don't want to judge and stick my nose where doesn't belong.

 

Wait she's in NY? Why am I just hearing this?

 

Ain't nobody trying to be in the same room with your black ass.

 

True, me and your girl never make it out of the car. She's a big fan of road head.

 

King Solomon had 700 hundred wives and 300 hundred concubines, was he unhappy? Was he nasty?

King David had eight wives and at least ten concubines, is he any better?

 

You've got to be kidding me! You are using the Bible to justify men cheating?? WOW.

 

Pretty much on a par with evo-psych nonsense. Women don't have a refractory period, by the way. We can go on and on.

A lot of this stuff comes across as justification. Are people interested in having sex with other partners? Sure, if they're honest with themselves, they see other folks they find attractive. That does not mean there is some sort of biological imperative to fuck everyone in sight.

If your sex life with your partner gets boring there are many things you can do to change that - you're at least half the problem if it's boring in bed.

 

The ah "need" for novelty or variety in sex partners is not a need to cheat. The article which says men "need" to cheat because they don't want to give up intimacy and security in their original pair bond to get some new - that isn't a "need" - it's called hedging your bets. Cheating is hurtful to everyone. No one comes out unscathed even if one person does not consciously know about it. If you want sex with new partners, sit your current partner down and have a discussion about opening up the relationship - that's *fairness* - that she gets to have other partners too. This all sounded like a justification for "women must not cheat, but men "have" to" which struck me as on a par with a high school kid telling his girlfriend "baby I have to, I promise I'll pull out but if I don't I'll get blue balls."

Men who want to cheat want to get extra on the side without risking their original partnership or giving up getting the assistance in life that partner provides. They also don't want their partner to maybe look around and see something which might be better. It's selfish, immature, disrespectful, and skeevy as hell. If you want an open relationship, dude, then you run the risk that 1. Your partner will reject that idea and/or you for asking and 2. That she'll play around and find something better. It's a gamble. Either put on your big boy pants and deal with it, or keep your zipper up.

 

Have you SEEN the average middle aged guy? Seriously? You think beer bellies, grey or balding and wrinkles are what women signed on for? Does she have a right to cheat on your ass if you gain 15 pounds? Without even having put your body through multiple pregnancies and births? What if your hair falls out? What if your dick goes limp?

No, it wouldnt be reasonable. It would be reasonable for men to grow the fuck up and stop living in the fantasies of lad mags. People age. People get sick. Shit happens. Marry your best friend, make sure that person stays your best friend, and be a grown up.

 

:smt038:smt038

 

This is what i feared and it is happening. ALL men will be bashed because of this lousy article.

 

This.

And to answer your question, North, yes I would have divorced my ex if he asked to be able to have other partners. Our vows also included the phrase "and forsaking all others..." If he wanted to bed other women, it was them or me. Period. He knew that from the get-go.

PS Great to see you back, Pixie. Sorry you've been having a rough time. Hoping things improve for you.

 

Not all men think or believe this way. Give the ladies credit for understanding that. I happen to believe there are men out there who value loyalty and fidelity. Do they think about or fantasize about getting with other women? Sure. But thinking about it and doing it are two different things. One gives in to the selfish desire with little thought to the pain he will cause, the other respects his vows and his wife and refrains. (This goes for women who cheat as well.)

 

"Men need to grow the fuck up and stop fantasizing about women in lad mags". I am paraphrasing what Treepixie wrote. Clearly ALL men have been lumped up as immature men who fantasize about women in porn mags and expect all women to look like that. So yes when a MAN posts such a thread there is a likelihood that someone will come here and bash ALL men.

 

I poorly worded that, Appiah, my apologies. Bear with me - MS stuff and meds has me a bit less focused than normal. I should have specified I was talking about the men in question, rather than all men. I'm very much aware that not all men are like that, and I should not have been so careless with my wording as to leave the impression that I meant all men. :-(

 

Sorry to hear that you haven't been well, but great to see that you're feeling well enough to stop by. I completely agree with you as well. Good luck and I hope that you feel better soon...

Well, it took a bit of time, but you didn't let me down. I expected this response from you straight away as it occurred to me immediately as well.

I didn't take it as an indictment of all men, more like, "if the shoe fits". I always look to the context and other indicators to discern what the writer really means.

 

It's nice to see you back and I hope you're doing better.