I was talking to my friends about this the other day. I find mental attraction to be much more critical than physical; it has become more and more important as i get older. There have been times recently where i said no thanks because i felt like there was no attraction nor creativity mentally. Most of my male friends feel that this is silly, that a hot PoA is a hot PoA. Thoughts?
I guess it's different from individual to individual, but I would prefer a woman that appeals to both my intellectual and sensual sides, not just a booty call.
I think nature is interesting. The women I find most attractive usually aren't the most interesting and the most interesting women are rarely women I badly want to have sex with. Not to say beautiful women can't have personalities because we all have a personality but usually they're less personable and far more out of touch. A lot of beautiful women don't like to reason since they're use to getting their own way. I only know of a couple of girls right now who are interesting and fuckable but its so few that sometimes it makes you wonder if most of us end of settling when we marry people. At least one of us anyway. I get that looks fade but its really interesting to me that hot women are rarely concerned with things likes philosophy or the things that keep many of us up at night. Less attractive women seem to be funny and so intriguing but nowhere near hot enough to keep my interest. Its sad.
good thread. Sometimes a woman can turn you off when they open their mouths or they can get put in the booty bump only category
Looks wise, a person's personality is what makes them seem attractive to me. If I like talking to a person enough I find something attractive about them, even if others may or may not agree with them being good looking. If I cannot have a conversation with a guy and feel interested enough to keep talking to him, it wouldn't matter if he was the sexiest guy on the planet. To me, it's almost definite that looks will change over time, while it takes more for a personality to change enough to make a difference.
When looking for something serious, I think mental attraction becomes equally or more important than physical attraction. Really, looks are a surface thing. Someone that's nice to look at is just that.... someone that's nice to look at. Hopefully by the time we're looking for someone to spend our life with, things like personality and smarts begins to factor.
They always factor but something I had to learn the hard way is no matter how great someones personality is it doesn't matter if she doesn't visually stimulate me. I lost an incredible relationship because of it. She gained 60lbs(because of depression) and no matter how much my heart want to keep our physical relationship going my dick was limp city. They're equally as important.
I feel you... nobody goes out looking for someone who is not aesthetically attractive. Let me ask you this, though... is it that she gained weight that became unattractive or had the depression factored? If she'd been in a car accident that crippled or disfigured her, would you have had the same reaction? If the answer is yes, then you're one of the more honest people I ever met. Shallow, but honest. If the answer is no, I'd wager that your loss of attraction to her had more to do with the depression than the weight gain.
To be fair it was both. She had lost her job and had to move in with me which I wanted since she was my girl and I loved her and there was no way I was gonna abandon her when she was down and out. She was amazing at the house work and making meals while she looked for work but spent a lot of time at my place alone while I went to work and school so she spent that time eating since she was bored. I would come home to find her locked in the bathroom crying, it was pretty bad. And to be fair I never told her how I felt about the weight gain but in my experience there's no diplomatic way to approach that anyway. So things slowly began to break apart. I stopped having sex with her which lead to fights and more depression and more weight gain. Eventually I had to break up with her but she's happy as hell now. I need to find a before and after so you guys have a visual.
For me it's deeper than that, i think. It is not just mental attraction; i.e., intelligence, humor, smarts. It's also about sexual intellect; how open we are, how we indulge each other's needs and wants and cravings, where you can say and do anything, anytime. /Perv...
I dont want to question your feelings about her and it sounds like you did the rite thing as a man by standing beside her in her time of need. all of that is cool. trust me alot of dudes would not have done that. I will however have to ask you did you really truly loved her or were you in lust with her and felt compassion to help her ?
The moment i hit 30 i realised i had to stop thinking with my dick if i wanted to have a meaningful relationship so i decided to deal with women who brought more than TAP to the table and by TAP i mean Tits Ass Pussy.
