I need some serious advice folks...

yea, I hope so. I can be a dirty old man without consquences. lmao

but in all seriousness, I meant not to take stock in a 65 year old person actually being the well informed about a young person's relationship.

God knows I don't care now about someone else's relationship unless it involves me. Why would I care at 65?

 

I am 38...and Again it has nothing with being rejected , I am just trying to figure out where her mind is....and honestly the way she told me she had a boyfriend...it wasn't like "I have a man".. It was more like " well I am going to see my boyfriend this weekend" and that was it

 

Yes no would have been fine with me....I am if she had a man, why would it be such a big deal to talk to me on casual basis like before...and I put a lot of stock in the 65 year old woman because I have known her for 3 years and she is always forthcoming with information even when it is personal...and those work together 40hours or more a week together

 

hahaha ok I'm calling bullshit on this thread, because there is no way anyone who's not in diapers could be this dense.

Besides I resolved everything with the very first response.

 

well if she is right, then the problem solved itself.
Just take it like this. The only reason she is not going to date you is because she has a b/f. and maybe she is avoiding you because of temptation.

idk lol

 

Well I guess everyone is a Romeo or Juliet like u... I honestly don't know what that girl is thinking that is all....

 

i have had guys walking up to me telling me the same thing. sometimes it is how they say it (i already made up my future with you in my mind!), that makes it awkward.
It doesn´t matter if the co-worker said she is single or not- you walked up to her and she told you otherwise. maybe she is lying- but even if- that is her decision (i don´t say that this is great), but maybe she didn´t like the way you surrounded her.
it means there is no future between you two.
you also mentioned you want to be friends with her again, but, i don´t think you were friends before.. you were just politely talking to another co-worker, because that is what a professional worker does.

 

Regardless of age, at least in a women's world, the women you eat lunch with every day are the ones who are going to know all your business. Those are your closest work friends. Not someone who sits at the next desk and spys on your phone conversations. They think they know all but they don't. The people you eat lunch with are the ones who you hang with by choice.

 

I think u honestly need to let it go. She cut you off in a very nice way. Take that kindness and drive on. Don't stress yourself pondering over her actions. Stress kills. IMO

 

It's not probably true, it is true. I'm not saying you're hounding her, but the fact you made this thread alone shows you haven't accepted her answer and you need to.

I'm sorry if you think I'm being harsh, but I have seen and dealt with this many times, so I will try to be blunt here. If a woman is interested in you, she will say "yes" when you ask her out, she won't tell you she is seeing her boyfriend. There is no 'probably true' here, she is not interested. These indications otherwise you think you have seen were wrong. Maybe she's just overly friendly and you misinterpreted that, but she has made it clear she does not want anything with you.

Take a deep breath, let it go and move onto the next one, your princess is in another castle don't waste time thinking about the whys or that you got it wrong, that's all time you could be spending chatting up someone who will like you back

 

She's not interested. Move on.

 

lippy had to check out the new teacher on the forum...what class are you teaching...i would like to sign up...please save me a seat in the front row

 

sirnice...this is what i will tell you about men and women...sometimes we just don't want to explain anything...you are still dwelling on something she may have already forgotten about...

lippy has been on both sides of this and until you are it won't make sense to you...

you are on the side of rejection...after being rejected you want to know why? maybe there isn't a reason...and even if there is a reason then the person that rejected you doesn't feel they owe you an explanation

you want to know why things can't go back to the way they were in the beginning...here is the why? how she treated you before...the looks...the hellos...the smiles...unfortunately they gave you the green light to inquire about something more...she may not do that at all now because she fears it will continue to encourage you...she can't go back to that...

once you are the person rejecting someone this will make perfect sense to you...they will want to know why and maybe you just won't care...then all of a sudden the lightbulb will go off in your head and you will say....awwww....now i get it:smt115

 

They DON'T owe you an explanation, period. In the past when men have not taken a polite no for an answer and kept pushing, I've gotten to the point where my response gets rude. No one owes you a date or sex, nor do they owe you and explanation for why they are not interested. It's on you to take the hint and move on.

Pushing for a "reason" or an explanation comes across as though you're intending to try and counter their reason for no with a reason why they should change their mind. That's creepy.

 

That goes back to my post. She was kind about it, let it go.

 

Besides if she's a genuinely nice person even casually, after time she'll probably get to a point where she doesn't feel like she has to ignore you.

I used to be like, if a woman smiled at me I thought I could fuck her.:smt023
But most of the time in a professional setting, a smile is just a courtesy to another person acknowledging their presence. It's not always a flirtation.

If you really would like to just be friendly again with this woman, you need to really back off and give it time. Don't ever bring up again that you hit on her.

I have a feeling you came on a bit stronger than you're telling because I've hit on females, been shot down and they've complimented(!) me while I was being rejected.:smt036

Were you really 'friends'?? Or is that how you wanted it to be??

 

:smt107

 

Whatever. You'd be surprised how many guy still think this way.

 

Well, thinking back on my online dating experience, no, I actually wouldn't.

 

Which seriously is how a lot of women end up feeling like they have to be completely internal when they're out in public - not looking at anyone, not smiling or making eye contact for fear of having to deal with some ass who thinks that's an invitation to the dance.

Of course, that results in having "Stuck up bitch" and "Frigid ice queen" yelled at you for not smiling at them, so...

Some guys are assholes.