I need some serious advice folks...

Discussion in 'Conversations Between White Women and Black Men' started by SirNice, Oct 28, 2011.

  1. Hellspawn

    Hellspawn New Member

    Exactly. Dude just doesn't know when it's done. :confused: Sigh.....
     
  2. Tamstrong

    Tamstrong Administrator Staff Member

    Like others have already said, she's probably not speaking to you because she was uncomfortable with the situation. It may have been that she's just not into you or it could've been the awkwardness of being approached in the workplace. It sounds like the boyfriend reference was her way of telling you she wasn't interested without being rude or without hurting your feelings.

    You can't carry on like before because by expressing your interest in her, you changed it to something different than it was, & you can't undo it.

    From what you said about the situation, the two of you don't know each other on a personal level, so the fact that she doesn't know you that well could have a lot to do with why she's wary & avoiding you. As time passes, she may get it over it, but whether she does or doesn't, you shouldn't take it personally. It's just one of those things & the best thing to do is to let it go.
     
  3. andreboba

    andreboba Well-Known Member

    You can't make a woman 'interested' in you. If she was down, she would have been all over getting to know you outside of work.

    She's not interested, not a crime. Happens to the best of us.
    But there's another woman where you work who is.

    IMO this is where some dudes fuck up, thinking they can wear a female down with more effort. The only way that possibly works is to leave a woman alone and if she eventually gives you any play, you'll be the first to know.:smt006
     
  4. TreePixie

    TreePixie New Member

    Seriously. If she's not interested, wearing her down will only make her resent the hell out of you. Even if she relented, it would be a pity date. I doubt that's really what a man wants in that situation
     
  5. wtarshi

    wtarshi Well-Known Member

    Jaisee this. Just leave her be
     
  6. 11eleven11

    11eleven11 New Member

    Yes, that's a firm "No".
    She feels awkward and uncomfortable around you because she thought you were just "workfriendly" and you wanted more
    Because she wanted no more than what you had and you want more, she is not comfortable with that.
    The point
    not upset, just not interested in anything even remotely romantic and probably feeling awkward.

    Don't chase her down or seek her out. Maybe you'll end up being friends and maybe you won't, but you need to accept right now that you won't be any more than that and move on for your own good. Forget about whether or not she's talking to you, back off and give her space.
     
  7. goodlove

    goodlove New Member

    there are three rules to note

    Rule 1) never ever get your romance where you get your finance.

    2) see rule #1

    3) If you are going to do something that will cost you your job then be more slick about it. ask her in a way that is not asking her out. for example say: hey, I and this other girl are going to this activity do you want to go ?

    make sure it is a girl going also when you do this. the girl should be a good friend too. this way everything is cool and if she says no then she will see it as a friend thang not as a dude being thirsty
     
  8. chocolatecream4u

    chocolatecream4u Well-Known Member

    [​IMG] Move on..look elsewhere.The ole boyfriend trick= (She's not interested)
     
  9. archangel

    archangel Well-Known Member



    for the win!
    sad ending.
     
  10. archangel

    archangel Well-Known Member

    The dreaded friend's zone.
    It is like being in a candy store and not having anything to eat for a while. and the the store owner saying you can't have any.
     
  11. NoIdea

    NoIdea New Member

    You got rejected. On a positive note at least she didn’t make a report to Human Resource Management for harassment.
     
  12. JordanC

    JordanC Well-Known Member

    That line is so fine these days that many things can be construed as harassment. That is why it is probably best to move on since this is all happening in the jobplace.
     
  13. SirNice

    SirNice New Member

    Thanks for all the wisdom...the overwhelming concensus is that she have no interest which is probably true but I believe the perception of these happenings are not fully represented correctly. It seems that you guys believe I am hounding this poor girl and cannot accept the answer NO.....but it is not like that at all, what is puzzling to me is the silence...look even before I approached like that I would see her looking at me, maybe it was just she thought I was a nice person and friendly...especially since she is kind of new...and really only approached her bc I honestly felt she had some interest in me...the time I was told that she was single was when I was speaking to her senior coworker (by the way I am a physician at a large hospital and she is a social worker there...I am black and she is white)....well I was joking with her coworker then she invited herself into our conversation ...we talked and joke for like 20 minutes...then my interest woman left...the is when the older coworker told me that she is a great find and a wonderful girl....then she sort of leaned toward me and says she is single too, u know with a wink and smile...so really I thought tshere might be mutual interest....so at that point I asked her........after those words we haven't spoken...and immediately after asking her I didn't see her about 2 weeks bc of my work schedule....so I am not hounding her or trying to wear her down at all....she doesn't make n effort to speak to me like before and neither do I.....
     
  14. SirNice

    SirNice New Member

    It is not about rejection...as a simple no, will allow me to not be puzzled about the situation...I just hope I didn't make her uncomfortable
     
  15. Ches

    Ches Well-Known Member

    Give it time. She just may feel awkward now. Maybe once she understands that you got the message, she'll relax and be friendly again.
     
  16. JordanC

    JordanC Well-Known Member

    I agree. Let her make the next move and you just follow her lead at that point.
     
  17. Bookworm616

    Bookworm616 Well-Known Member

    This is exactly what I was going to say. The ball is in her court right now. She probably is going in the way opposite direction to make sure that she doesn't give you any mixed signals, and once she feels okay with the amount of time that's passed or that you haven't been hounding her, she may feel comfortable again talking to you.

    Just keep doing what you're doing, and she may start being friendly with you again when her comfort level returns.
     
  18. Ymra

    Ymra New Member

    Even if its not it, it means she doesn't want YOU. She might have said she has a boyfriend HOPING you would get the hint......

    ...you didn't


    ...how old are you dude?
     
  19. archangel

    archangel Well-Known Member

    She shouldn't have lied to the man though. just say no. geez
    of course, she might actually have one. I mean I wouldn't take much stock in 65 year old person.
     
  20. Ches

    Ches Well-Known Member

    So you won't mind when no one takes stock in anything you say when you're 65, I'm assuming.
     

Share This Page