A little question for DK and those who buy his theory

Not agreeing/disagreeing with anyone's points(I'm unable to relate to the main point being made; where I live young black men have more choice, imho).

All men do this though! Never been with a man who didn't act that way, I'm pretty sure it's just general "game".

Not saying young men do/don't like older women, but very few men will act like they think they're doing you a favour, because for most men that just doesn't work.

 

And what about the reverse? What about the black man who was suppressed by his sisters, aunt and mom from dating white women? Should we white women exclude him forever and ever from selection because he never acted early in life? Maybe he had a desire but didn't act.

Just asking rhetorically. I dated a black man in HS and also black men in college as my earliest "interest"........so I guess that means I get a dating pass from there on. :smt102

The things people focus on are many times unimportant. Until you meet "that" person that totally attracts you and turns you on no matter their skin color....that one person you can't live and breathe without, then the prior things don't count. You have to keep moving in life and find that person. Until you do, anyone you date prior would be moot.

Sometimes you don't know you are looking for someone until you find them. All those qualities that put together make them........well them. Then you think where have they been all this time. I have wasted time on bozos and now I found you.

 

Andrae, I'm willing to have an open and honest dialogue with you, to any extent that you're willing as well. It doesn't begin with insults, though I think that you know I'm more than able to handle myself in any situation here. Having said that, these are my thoughts.

I've no problem with acknowledging the force of racism in the lives of African Americans in this country. I've had these conversations with other black friends and black businessmen as well. This isn't something new and it's not something that will end tomorrow. So, discuss it, if it helps to vent, but more importantly, discuss it if you're talking about effecting change, through your own actions, through politics or societal action. Otherwise, you're wasting time when you should be focused on actions.

When it comes to the matter of "preparing" yourself, YOU and no one else has the right to think that he's entitled to anything. I hear you, work environments are fair, promotional opportunities are less available, but that's life, and know that's a harsh reality for you. You can think that you do all the right things, but it doesn't mean that you'll get what you want. That's not a very mature outlook at nature of life my friend, whether you're white or black. You can only do the best that you can do, period. Do you think that men of other races don't feel the same way, regardless of real or perceived advantages that men of other race have on their sides?? And if you accept that fact, then why should YOU get what you want anymore than they get what they want in life.

You ignore the fact that MOST people date and prefer people within their own racial and ethnic groups. Those of us who date interracially are in the minority, no pun intended. That fact alone means there're fewer WW who'll willing to date a BM. Yes, societal mores, in general, encourage people date within their own races also, and more so in the case of WW and BM relationships. But, you can't "force" someone to date you. It is what it is.

I also don't accept the concept that American black men can universally find successful relationships overseas than in their own country. Again, I'm referring to relationships and not sexual liaisons, and that's an important but overlooked distinction. There're many men who may find sex with women in other countries for varying reasons, but marriage is less likely, IMO.

If you can't find enough common ground with someone who shares your culture, what makes you think that you find it with someone who has a different culture, and the attendant problems with differences in culture and language. In fact, I doubt that the average American would find comfort in living abroad, because they lack the openness and acceptance to live in other environments. Americans, in general, are much too spoiled and fickle.

It's not a bubble buster to me, people in general, prefer people closer to their own age and partners who aren't 50 lbs. overweight. Though just as clearly, as expressed by some of the guys in BB's threads, there're some guys who enjoy those women, and there're May/December romances in some instances as well. These relationships are not as "popular", but neither are interracial relationships...

Lastly, it's much too arbitrary to look at the demographics of the forum and extrapolate anything to the larger population. As a simple example, I believe this forum to be the only one of its kind. If a "foreign" WW wants to engage in discussions with BM, where else would she go? On the other hand, American born WW have many more options for finding black men. That's fairly obvious as you see them all over and those women aren't members of the forum, and many are great looking, in shape couples too.

 

And we don't want argumentative little boys either. Speak for yourself, DK, speak for yourself.

 

Yeah like the guy statutory raped you I know. Lippy has posted a pic on here and I'm not even bashing her looks but she definitely posted that in this thread to stir shit up. She could have posted that in the Random Conversations thread or What's Going On With You 3.0 but did it here wonder why?

If you don't know any 60 year olds who look 60 then how can you comment on what 60 looks like genius?
Btw you can definitely tell age by looking at someones hands even if its not apparent by their face even though you can dip a 60 year old chicks whole body in Loreal but it would make her look 40 sorry age is a real thing. And while you keep coming at me for what I was asked look at the title of the fucking thread victim and quite bothering me. :smt111

 

Ok if you say so lol

 

Good post Swirl.

I have been thinking about why this and the other thread have been so brisk with the responses and part of it may be because generalizing that bm would prefer a 20 year old and ww would prefer a wm is so insulting to both groups.

No one here is second string unless you let yourself be so. I don't date bm because they are my second choice after white, I date the man and he might be black, might be Japanese, might be white, etc..

My hope is that young men like DK find the woman he truly likes and doesn't settle for someone else simply because she's white. Although I believe that DK is far to intelligent to do something like that.

 

Athena what gives you the impression that I settle for anything lol:smt102

Does a man need to be impoverished to recognize poverty:smt102
Be wet in order to see a man drowning?:smt102

 

I don't think that you settle, because I do believe you are beyond that. You know what you want and you can go for it.

 

Swirl I'm not saying that life is fair and just we all know that its not but I can't/won't happily swallow that its just the way it is mentality either. I was asked my opinion on something and I gave it.

As far as that comment about bm from the US dating women from other countries, all I can say is that I notice a lot of men feel the same way its not just me. I don't expect things to change on my whims but I can help but recognize the horseshit when I see it .

 

You're a charmer I'll give you that kid lol. You must have those dudes going crazy on that island.

 

I never said that you "just swallow it", either. I think that you should realistically pursue whatever you want in your life. If you specifically want a WW as a girl friend, you should go for that as well. If you want her to have other attributes that you find attractive, whether being well education, possessing a certain physicality or a professional occupation. My perspective is always that you must understand that others have expectations as well. If you meet those for that person that interests you, then I'm sure you'll have what you want in your life.

Maybe, some men disregard the points that I made in my post, that this is a unique site and that's draws "foreign" women to this site, that many American born WW have other opportunities to find potential mates, and whether those experiences men who've actually dated in foreign countries are based on sex or "real relationships". As I recall, one of the posts seems to highlight only sexual escapades. As I've mentioned before, I'm fairly well traveled myself and I speak from the experiences of having dated and married foreign born women.

 

:smt038:smt038 Made of win.

Too much of a chip on one's shoulder if one thinks that the only reason a WW would date a man was because she couldn't get a WM, or if one thinks a younger BM dates an older woman because he can't get a younger WW. It's making judgment on facts not in evidence.

 

yet your assertions are fact huh? lol

 

DK, I think you're just scared of us old ladies. We might just teach you a thing or two! And you might just like it! Then where would you be?

 

Well, I have a pretty athletic running partner that's a fairly attractive, single white female and she's 23 years old (recent college grad) and I'm close to being 20 years of age. I'm just "friends" with her, I don't want to ask her out, I prefer to do it with a different WW, so I would say it's possible for you all to score well with white women.

You (in addition to others on here), should just lose some weight, run intensively for several years and do push-ups. Then you'll have a lot more success in the dating/friendship arena.

Your theory shouldn't be taken seriously. :smt042

 

Mikey, do you even hear yourself? You sound fucking ridiculous.

 

I care more about what goes on in the real world over what's going on here.

My point is valid. I read through the thread. IMO, you should find ways to improve yourself. That's a critical aspect of the problem illustrated in this thread.

 

I think that chip has been demonstrated.

 

Exercising and taking care of yourself is a given.

But nobody can do a THING about their biological age. You completely overlooked that detail. That was a major component of the thread that of course, as usual, went completely over your head.