Random Conversation

The next girl he had a baby with, so she's fucked.

 

i'm so glad you got out of there, and have been able to rebuild and move on....there are so many who don't :smt058

 

cosign!

 

Damn that's a shame. You could have saved her

 

You're right. According to the domestic violence shelter in this area, I should've been dead based on the violence I suffered.

No. I couldn't. When you charge someone with battery, you have to have lots of documentation and proof. I didn't have those things. All I had was me and the memories of the abuse that I had suffered. That's the problem with domestic violence.

Until MEN change their views of women as property, then the problem isn't just a woman's problem- it's everyone's problem.

 

Would you blow that fucking divisionist bs out your ass. Another reason why I say you walk around with the victim chip on your shoulder. All, not even most men think of women as property at least no more so than women view men as their property. You keep acting like men sit around plotting on how to make women suffer and that's so far from the truth. There are more father, husbands, brothers, and sons who would never think about hurting a woman in anyway then there are assholes who will. So sick of the feminist conspiracy.

 

Thank you Australia for giving us Nervo!!!

:smt058

 

I'm tired of your unwillingness to accept that you're part of the problem. Men, in general, are. There are lots and lots of studies to back this up. That's why there's a movement worldwide to educate and support women and girls because they are the ones that actually support and provide for the families....not the men. But they can't do it alone. They have to get through to the men that this whole macho bs is just that...BS. And abuse, traditional/archaic gender roles, etc. are not acceptable, and they'll inhibit society from moving forward.

The BS of you not wanting to accept a woman cop is the same reason why there are men out there who think that punching a woman in the face for not putting dinner on the table by a certain time is OK. Own up to your own brand of BS.

 

beautiful and talented


one more reason to come down under....

 

Yes!

You are right. I LOOOVE House girls!!

 

That's the thing genius I nor anyone I associate with upholds those beliefs. I don't know if its the region of the country I live or what but men for the most part treat women with respect at the least the law abiding civilized ones. I don't know what back water trailer park you grew up in but men don't generally inhibit women from anything. In the corporate setting men are afraid to say two words to a woman because they are scared of being brought to HR.
I stand by my statement about women cops, when the test to get into the academy becomes the same exact one men have to pass then my opinion will change.
And men who generally go around abusing women are pieces of shit on all fronts. Most law abiding men don't agree with that horse shit so I have no clue how you come to your generalizations.

 

Not sure I'm reading this as you meant it, are you trying to assert that men don't support and provide for their families, or that women's roles are somehow more important in those respects?

I agree that education on domestic violence is needed, but just as much emphasis should be placed upon educating women not to put up with it, as there is on men not to perpetrate it. You cannot repeatedly abuse someone if they don't allow you to. I understand that some women have psychological issues that appear to predispose them to endure abuse, just as some men have psychological issues that cause them to abuse, and I'm not trying to make light of either side, nor to assign blame to the victims. However there is something amiss that allows one human being to allow another human being to repeatedly abuse them, and IMO if that could be addressed domestic violence would occur on a much smaller scale. I personally don't believe anyone should endure abuse, and it's completely unnecessary given the prevalence of domestic violence shelters and current laws. But none of that is going to be effective if it's not reported, and domestic violence goes unreported far too often. Emphasizing that the abused needs to report it, is every bit as important as attempts to educate the abuser. The approach needs to cover all sides to be effective.

 

Maybe I am totally out of touch or just incredibly slow but is the reason people go around hurting one another due to ignorance or just because they don't care?
I don't think a seminar or book is going to change the mind of a would be abuser anymore than it would for a murder or a rapist. They already know what they are doing is wrong and so do the people around them that's why they are very secret about it.
So I fail to understand what education would do. I can see how it would benefit would be victims but I definitely like what you said about responsibility to be taken on all fronts.
Victimhood is becoming a bigger problem than the actual abuse. If you always think that things are just happening to you then you're only holding yourself back from everything.

 

Believe it or not there are people raised in abusive environments that really do think that's the norm. Children learn by example to a certain degree, and if all they see is dad beating the hell out of mom, then some grow up and think that's how you treat the people you love. It's warped and it's backwards as hell, but to some that's a normal family environment.

It's hard for me to fathom anyone allowing someone to beat them, regardless of how they were raised, but it's even harder for me to understand why any mother would allow their child to be beaten. I'm here to tell you that if anyone tried that with one of mine, I'd kill them if that's what it took to stop them, and I wouldn't bat an eye in doing it. But I was raised to respect other people and to protect the people I love. I think that's one of the biggest missing components in people who abuse and who allow themselves to be abused. They either were raised not understanding how wrong that is, and/or they have no self-respect. Abused children grow up to be abusive people, that's been studied and proven over and over again... it's a self-perpetuating cycle. That's why you need to educate men, women and children that it's not acceptable. In a perfect world parent's would raise their children well and that wouldn't be necessary, but this isn't a perfect world and there's a lot of screwed up people out there in a parental capacity that simply aren't fit to be.

I disagree with simply stating that men are the root of the problem, because frankly it takes two. If you don't stay, they can't beat you. I think trying to emphasize that it's men's fault in general simply makes enemies of the good guys who would never hit a woman, because they don't appreciate being blamed for the assholes that do. Men also aren't the only people who are abusive, plenty of women beat their children, so as I said education should be aimed at everyone. I personally think it should be added to school curriculum starting in kindergarten and touched on every single year. Children need to understand that being beaten isn't normal, and it's not discipline, it's abuse. Once they become adults, it's too little, too late IMO.

 

And this is why I love you woman :smt060

Someone gets it

 

I'm speaking about recent movements by groups like Plan International that found that educating a woman meant she would educate her children, and her husbands family. Men, on the other hand, when given money and education, would hoard the knowledge, and spend the money, most of the time, on frivolous things (like going to a local watering hole) because they were men and that's what men do. There's been a larger movement to education women and girls because of this, while also focusing on educating men on the fact that traditional gender roles are not acceptable and hinder the development of a culture.

However, not being a survivor of domestic abuse, you can't really speak on what someone 'should' or 'should not' do, because you can't possibly understand the fear that someone experiences. Only those of us who've endured can speak in an educated fashion, and I can assure you, no matter what you swear you'd never put up with, you'd be amazed at the number of women who once sat in my support group and said the same thing and DID endure it....the reasons why don't really matter, because they were their own reasons, but as a society we continue to ask 'why did you stay?' rather than 'why did he think it was OK to beat someone?!'

 

The same people who believe that men are 'head of the household' are the same ones that would step aside while they are beating their children- particularly their daughters. I could list several books on the subject, all first person accounts of women who survived a variety of abuse situations while their mothers looked on because they held strong religious or social beliefs about the role of men in women's lives.

And let's face it, as women, in any society, we aren't valued- it is worse in third world countries. You can believe what you want, but as long as men continue to call each other 'pussy' as an insult, just like they use the word 'gay', then they're perpetuating the abuse they purport not to condone.

 

And that's why you will continue to be single.

 

so agree with this statement. i can't tell you how often those words are muttered before the question as to why he beat her is questioned.

 

It's very sad. We're really good at victim-blaming, rather than focusing on the actual problem.