I debated if I should post this or not but here it is: http://www.torontosun.com/2011/09/03/book-about-race-and-marriage-set-to-spark-controversy
I saw the author on CNN . It was some dude basically telling black women they should date IR because there arent enough acceptable , good BM out there. Another person playing BW into spending money and supporting bad choices in life. again. They will never define "good" . lets just say it ....BM must have 6 figure income or above . they will never hold BW accountable for their actions.
bait you'll get no argument from me there all the good BM chase WW, or so that's what I was told i've actually had BW assume that I didn't date them and only dated white women, for some odd reason it's not like i'm a million dollar athlete or rapper or some shit:roll:
Well, for those types of women, money and wealth that you have trumps over your personality. There are other women who you can turn to who think differently.
It wasn't until I started studying World History did I begin to understand American History. When people from other races, all over the world, are put into the same situation that blacks are put into here in the U. S., they react the same way. Their outcome is no different than the blacks in America. Why do you have the Mafia??? Why do you have the Russian Mafia??? Why do you have the Japanese Mafia??? The Indian Mafia??? etc., etc. These are all responses from men being put in the same situation that American black men are in. They, too, would have large portions of their population who were in jail, unemployed, NOT married, etc. Now, here in America, you always have politics. They always make it seems white people are your saviors. They don't tell you that the majority of white people are NOT living as large as they make themselves out to be. Many of them are also just making enough to get by. Most live in trailer parks or not that far off from them. This professor, just like many other African-Americans, NEVER see the big picture. If everything was right, you wouldn't have as many ww crossing the line. If ww needs were being met, many sites like this wouldn't be around. Don't let the politics fool you.
You know what is funny about this whole epic nonsense that is seemingly never ending from these type of folks who write this spewage. I'm an educated black man, have my priorities in order, but I am not the least bit fucking naive about the wider world out there and what it is like. Its like these folks get a degree and think that is the be all that ends all, pure freaking arrogance and a sense of self entitlement. A degree doesn't mean jack shit and I say that as someone with one, it comes back to the person's core values instilled in them from an early age, sense of responsibility and outlook on life as a man or woman as to what is important. Just like I can marry whomever the hell I meet, so can anyone else, why is this shit always being turned into a rubik's cube. This is 2011 America, who or what is stopping black women from marrying white men. Anyone?
I'm in agreement on this. Personally, most of the IR couples, and I say most instead of all because maybe I'm forgetting someone, are all BM/WW. I'm wondering if part of the reluctance has to do with the cultural/media construct of black women as the "pillars" of the home/community/church - that they are responsible for maintaining black culture and would be seen in some ways of more of a betrayal to the black community? Which would maybe explain why they tend, according to some of the guys here, to get very touchy about BM with WW - they might feel they are left holding the bag, so to speak for black culture as a whole? Just pondering - I have no data one way or another.
Like other groups of people the majority of black men marry black women. The thing is you have these high and mighty, highfalutin, I got my degree black women that thinks the world should now revolve around them because of a degree. Relationships are a partnership, it takes two and thus I wouldn't want any woman who thinks like that in the first place. The only thing I despise more than ignorance is arrogance. Major turnoff. While I went to college and got a higher level education, I learned a lot more because of my own curious nature about the wider world out there. Any person that starts off talking about what degree they have is suspect and shows a true lack of humility about themselves. Book learning only goes so far. There are many core personal characteristics which shape a person that are very poignant as well. There is this constantly regurgitated notion that black women are somehow vanguards of the black community and family because of the no good black men. How self effusive and obnoxious. A testament to the utter contemptuous character of some of these ladies. Black women of the past never had to pat themselves on the back. Best of luck to any man that encounters the one's today with that mindset. Life isn't like a chess board where you have to study each move, if you do then you will miss a lot of other things around you and besides its pretty dull to live that way.
I agree with all of that. I think the whole idea is over-hyped. You're quite right that a degree is meaningless in regards to life in general - it shows you know how to study, not how to live. A relationship which is *not* an equal partnership would never work for me - I'd want someone to walk beside me, not ahead of or behind me. Much more fun to have a hand to hold.
Thus my sentiments, if they meet a white, Asian, Indian, Latin guy etc and they like him and he likes them and want to marry, marry him, what is the big deal exactly. Is it really that serious. As far as the degree aspect, I think by the time you get a degree there should be intrinsic qualities instilled in you long before at an early age that have shaped you as a young man or woman. Definitely within a relationship, you want someone you can confide in, express your emotions to, understand you as you do them and have a sense of comfort in each other because of that mutual trust and respect for each other. No one should be thinking they having to one up the other person and the relationship is some battlefield to prove points.
That's something that a lot of people don't learn young, and too many relationships turn into a power battle. Your partner should be your best friend and your teammate. You're working together to build a life, and getting into a pissing contest over trivial shit just is not worth the trouble - you have to be on the same side and work together.
Another Link... http://healthland.time.com/2011/08/31/is-marriage-for-white-people/ :? I was going to start a thread with this link but I'll just add it since we already have one but at any rate, I read some of his book at a local library & to the point it basically sucks for :smt068black men...AND THIS SHYT IS WRITTEN BY A BLACK MAN. It's definitely slanted towards black women & pushing them (IMO) to date outside of their race...basically he panders to black women that are into this type of stuff sort of like Steve Harvey's book does just in another way! Again, this is my opinion only.
How pathetic are we as a people when this is the kind of shit we spout to the wider world about ourselves socially. I mean really have we no freaking dignity left. Only 1 person determines if they "CHOOSE" to get involved interracially, the individual person, either they want to or they don't and that can be predicated on numerous reasons that we couldn't all list here in 1 day. Its not shocking any longer that one of these mangina characters always pop up to continue this tired subject that is seemingly never-ending. It seems like no other race or culture of people talk about themselves like this. I mean I like white women, but I don't think they are faultless and doe eyed, harmless deers that do no wrong. I deal with them as they come individually. Tell folks what take all the single, educated, professional African American women place them on an island and let all the non black men fly in and take their pick. I mean that would be a start, after all they are pretty desperate judging from the repetitive spiel about their plight by every media pundit it seems. If a black woman wants to date interracially that is completely her prerogative and none of my business in any capacity whatsoever. If there are black men that don't like it that is their issue to deal with, just like the white men that don't like seeing white women with black men Why is this even a big deal in 2011, oy.
Like I tried to state before. I dont hace a problem with people dating outside their race ....just dont throw people under the bus to justify it. this dude was on CNN throwing BM under the bus to sell the book.
ROFL Pixie, hey there are the exceptions. I just feel so strongly about this because I take the person as they come individually. I'm not naive to the realities of racism, sexism and the pure hatred and ignorance others can carry in their hearts. However I'm confident and assertive enough in my makeup to deal with other folks based on their own merits. With all the negative perceptions, assumptions, stereotypes and characterizations that being a black male in America can carry with it, I don't sit around feeling woe is me. I live my life just fine and would never let the ignorance of others influence my choices in life. If I listened to others about what being a black man in America entails I should be speaking in nothing but fluently flowing ebonics, hanging around on the street corner and in the housing projects slinging rocks, copped a couple of slugs in me in a drug deal gone bad while running from the po-po and been to prison for a couple of stints, all of this and at the same time working on my presumptive career as a budding rap artist. If one thing I have learned being a black male in America is never allow yourself to be a statistic.