Last Names and Marriage

THANK YOU! I was really surprised at the vitriol that position met here from some corners. People need to do what works best for them, and there's nothing about not taking a man's name which means that the marriage is useless, or pointless or that the man isn't worth his salt.

Yeah, ultimatums tend to suck on all sides. A woman isn't smart to set one out there, and neither is a man. Focus on the relationship and learn to let the minor things go. It's just like you'd treat a friend you respected. You ought to have that kind of respect for someone you'd marry, IMHO

 

My son has his dad's last name. At the time, I didnt care, though these days if i was starting over, I might want to hyphenate a child's name, or alternate the last name used for children if there were multiple kids - I don't know, and don't much think about it since i'm not planning more kids.

My son isn't very happy with his dad, and he's talked about changing his name, but it flows rather well. So I think he'll end up keeping it. It's entirely up to him - after all it is *his* name, not mine.

 

I was doubly lucky when he was small - the same woman had recently retired from 20 years working at a day care center, so I knew exactly how the place was run, and felt pretty comfortable with him being there. And if there was a problem and I was still at work, she'd go over and pick him up until I could get home.

 

The studies I've looked at tonight indicate anywhere from 20% to over a third of women today keep their own names. It seems the higher the level of formal education and achievement the more likely a woman is to keep her own name

Harvard Gazette Name Change


It also appears that women in the 80s and 90s were more likely to retain their own names, and the explanation the "experts" offer is that we were more likely to have grown up experiencing our parent's marriages in the 60s and 70s where the woman was much more subsumed by the marriage in general.

 

Says you... and karma. What happened to people doing what is right for them? :smt101

 

I use my husband name.. i will like to change back before i got married but after so many years will confuse a lot ..

If i was in Greece i will had keept mine ... the law in Greece change a lot from the time i left the women now keep they surnames they dont change when they do get married
you can still use your husband's surname socially but maybe you need to go to court to change to your husband surname i think lol

 

Interesting thread...

 

My surname is Glasscock and I expect a woman to take every inch of it if she wants my ring.

 

Making a claim about how things "should be" suggests a broader agenda.

 

Part of being a writer is using language carefully.

 

Fixed.

 

Once again there is more to life than whether a woman carries my name or not. Times have changed, women now wear pants and have grown balls and are breadwinners in some cases so it really shouldn't be an issue.

 

Didn't you get the memo? This one and another one have the code of ethics to the letter and are never wrong .I think their middle name is lecture and most people who like to lecture people a lot have serious skeletons in their closet.

 

I'm pretty adamant about keeping my maiden name. I now have two degrees with my maiden name on them and intend on a third. People know me by my name, first and last, and I would be devastated if I was told I had to give it up.

Actually, if someone is that against it, then I wouldn't marry them. Kids could have a hyphenated name, so it's not a huge deal.....and I don't think I really want kids...not the way some people do, anyway, so I guess it doesn't matter.

However, if someone wants to change their name, by all means!