Intruduction and saying hello, i don't know what the hell I am doing!

Well, I never knew such a site exsited until now! I am 33 years old, and just ended a 7 year marriage....I am white, he is black, I feel like I have to do something and not just sit and cry over a failed relationship. He was the first black man I ever kissed, touched, dated, and fell in love with. I have wondered, where do i go from here? Black, white, neither....lol! The truth is, i should not stereotype all black men bc of my ex-husband.....i should just move past him....so that was the reason for looking at this site....just to get some ideas from other women, see a mans perspective and learn a few things along the way!

 

Welcome! Getting over a failed marriage takes a bit of time. This is a very welcoming, yet sometimes contentious community. Jump in!

 

you want to be around men, now you are

we're this way by nature

 

Welcome Karen!

 

hello Karen

 

Welcome to the site. I hope the brother will treat you right in the long run.

 

Hello!

Welcome KarenJo!

 

Welcome...If you don't mind telling, what went wrong?

 

Welcome Karenjo,,, hopefully this site gives you opportunities to help you sort through this period in your life.....

I have been through a divorce myself and know that moving forward and living well is the best thing you can do for yourself.....

You don't need to jump back into the dating game to find another relationship just yet,,,, but have fun if you do date and take it ever so casually until you know your heart is healed.

 

Ahh, how sweet, something like that is very emotive and touching to hear for a romantic guy like myself.

Welcome to the site, being here you will see based on the opinions and views expressed that black men run the gamut indeed, same with white women.

You can only take the individual as they come. Hope you have an enlightened time on here. There is always light at the end of the tunnel.

 

What went wrong? Wow, such a simple question, but with so many different answers. We had a very passionate, whirlwind kind of marriage, at first! It has really been like a rollercoaster.....extreme highs and extreme lows. I really can't pinpoint the one factor that pushed me to file for divorce, I just knew I wasn't happy. I really felt, for the first time, that love was never going to be enough to hold us together. I still have respect for him, as the father of my child so I don't want to criticize him at all. We really had different plans for our future, i wanted to go back to school to finish my BSN, he didn't want me too. I did it anyway. So, I have not been the perfect wife, and I have to take a long, hard look at the part I played in everything. One major factor, was the trust issue and yea it started out as cheating, but ended with so much more of a deeper level of trust. I felt like I gave him every reason to cheat at one point, however, since the day we got together, i never cheated on him. I wanted to, but I couldn't. I actually couldn't stand the thought of being with anyone else. The trust issues I had was that I didn't feel safe and protected by him anymore, I always felt like, no matter what, he would always have my back.....and I lost that feeling.

 

Awwww.....thank you! The men on here have kept me laughing for a few days now....and the women!! ENLIGHTENED is the perfect word! It is alot to take in at first, I wish i would have found this site when I was still married....lol!

 

Very deep, sounds like you gave it a lot of effort and thought before realizing the best course of action to take.

The most appropriate sentiment I can think for you is

Better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all


You know that feeling and as you said the highs and lows emotionally.

 

LOL, definitely some funny dudes on here. The ladies are varied as well across the spectrum.

I'm sure you will have some very insightful and interesting stories to share with us over time.

 

Very sweet, and thanks to all the ladies for the welcome and the men! Divorce affects men and women differently, that's for sure! However, I will not let that define me, coming to this forum is all about learning to get over that aspect. I also just wanted to let everyone know what brought me here! One door closes, many more open.....thanks again

 

Welcome!

 

Welcome!!! Thanks for sharing your story. I think GQ put it best about love.

 

Thank you for sharing and I wish you the best with everything.

 

Thanks to all for the love shown and the support!