Why do men primarily do this to their ex's??

Honestly, you see just as many men on the news killing their children.

 

Actually the statistics on children murdered by their parents show that crime committed at nearly equal rates of 50% for each. The main discrepancy in parental cases of murder is in the form of punishment. Women are hospitalized/institutionalized as a result @ 70% of the time as punishment, and men are incarcerated or received the death penalty @ 70% of the time. However postpartum depression is often the reason blamed in cases involving women, which supposedly doesn't apply to men, and that being considered a mental disorder which benefits from treatment I think explains part of the discrepancy in the punishment between men and women.

There is however a significant difference in the rate of women murdered by intimate partners, versus men murdered by intimate partners. But I wouldn't say men primarily murder their Exs, that to me makes it sound like it occurs with greater frequency than it does, or implies some women don't do the same to their Exs. Yes it's perpetrated more often on women at the hands of past intimate partners who are men, but really some folks are just off their nut and there isn't much you can do about that. Unfortunately women seek therapy more often and in greater numbers than men. I think there is still a societal view that men shouldn't need therapy, that they are capable of internalizing and should just 'suck it up and be a man', whereas the negative stigma isn't nearly as prevalent for women. 1 in 3 women will seek therapy, while only 1 in 7 men will. Additionally only about half the people who could benefit from therapy actually seek it.

So considering those factors, men are less likely to seek or receive help and I suspect that's partly to blame for why they murder intimate partners in greater numbers. In this case in particular, the perpetrator appears to be Asian and their culture is structured differently, traditionally they are structured heavily patriarchal. I'm not saying that is the case here, I simply noted the names appear to be Asian and there appears to be far more pressure in Asian families on men to be 'the man' and divorce is often viewed as the man's failure and therefore a negative reflection on him, so that could have some bearing on this as well.

 

We hear a lot more about women killing their children because it's so shocking to us. Somehow when a man does it, people shrug their shoulders and it gets buried on page 20 of the daily paper. It shouldnt be. In all cases it should be highlighted and studied for a better understanding.

One reason why one of the few violent crimes women commit in about equal numbers is child murder, I think, also has to do with access and stress. Women are still the primary caregivers of children in most families - and caregiving to children can be immensely stressful for anyone, male or female. But since women do more of the caregiving they are more effected by that stress, and snap. So their numbers for that crime are higher than for most.

 

20/20 did a whole story on it. Here is a link with some film footage of it...very sad.

http://hellobeautiful.com/special-f...n-camera-boyfriend-behind-models-acid-attack/

But she speaks to warn others now about it, so she is getting to a better place.

 

It's also true that men tend to kill children over the age of 8 in greater numbers, and women tend to kill infants in greater numbers. It's my hope that a better understanding of the physical causes as well as the psychological causes of post-natal psychosis will enable us to lower the numbers. My sister suffered from post natal depression, which is far from a psychosis, but still left her unable to cope with simple things like getting a meal, cleaning the house - the same stuff that all serious depression impacts. She was never a danger to her children, but I saw how the post-natal physical effects on her body impacted her emotional health pretty clearly. It's not just the "baby blues" and psychosis is still much further out. Back in those days, one never heard of postpartum depression - no one understood it, so we are making progress, but it still needs to be screened for, noticed, attended to, etc. Sometimes with post partum depression or psychosis, I cannot help but wonder who someone, a spouse, a partner, a friend, a family member, didn't figure out there was a problem and get the woman some help.

I agree that's certainly a part of it. Internalized stress and anger tends to come out in one of two ways, serious depression, or explosive violence. Neither is exactly a lot of fun, but one has more obvious collateral damage.

(Living with or loving a seriously depressed person also takes its toll, but is less likely to end in murder)

 

like I stated....when you go thru a divorce people do some nasty ass shit. then it turns into a tit for tat and it escalates.

women uses kids and the dudes finances as a weapon and men try to use the law or violence. lets be clear if you keep your head about some shit most of the time everything will be cool. its all about power.

 

That is one of the main points being made here...as we know, the loss of power and control over a person can trigger that reaction. A sense of entitlement, or abusing their power throughout and after the relationship.

 

another thing is as I stated earlier is the TIT for Tat syndrome. If people dont pull that shit...then a whole lot of shit will not take place.

 

Using violence as a threat because someone had the audacity to leave you and file for divorce is sick. There's a world of difference between not paying child support or withholding a visitation and murdering someone, or even threatening to do so.

I'm sure you didnt mean it to come across as "Bitches get what they deserve if they fight for child support and custody and some guy blows their head off." I know that's not what you meant, but this is a loaded topic and we should all be careful how we word things, I think.

 

Power over who? Themselves or their lives?
Before I make my point does anyone know what the methods of domestic murder usually are? For example is it usually strangling or beatings or knife wounds or gun shot wounds?

 

Not sure why the method matters, but knock yourself out (heh!)

http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/18396584

http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed?term=methods of intimate partner murder&itool=QuerySuggestion

 

Power over the other person.

IMO it varies, while usually very personal or overkill, it can be execution style, done quick and coming up from behind. But most I think want you to know...you're about to die, say bye.

 

the whole thing. Im just saying people do that fucked up shit. someone posted a vid about a woman getting beat down by her marine exhubby at the courthouse because he didnt like the visitation and child support judgement.
we cant pin it down on just one thing but trying to be cool will alleviate alot of crazy shit

 

I live in Colorado Springs, where Fort Carson, and two Air Force bases are. There's been a big spike in domestic violence and partner murder here involving returned troops. Frankly, I hold the military and the VA responsible, because they are not getting returning troops the assistance they need to transition back home and deal with the crap they had to see and do overseas.

 

From what I read it seems to be more strangulation and blunt force trauma(no one gave clear statistics I just read a bunch of articles)

Not that this is an excuse but I think a lot of these murders are heat of passion arguments that turn into murder because the man attacks the woman. The problem is even if women did the same thing they're less likely to inflict death blows or have the strength to strangle a man to death. Using weapons usually involves some premeditation and as I said I think these arguments that start out as "Why don't you want to be with me" or "How dare you leave me" and escalates from there. With a lot of the jealousy stuff it can be premeditated but from what I read a lot of the incidents just seem like a fight gone bad.

 

You may have a valid point there (or do have, I should say).

One thing though in your theory is this part...

"The problem is even if women did the same thing they're less likely to inflict death blows or have the strength to strangle a man to death..."

The thing is, while a number may be spontaneous, a good deal are planned and the victim is stalked and hunted down like prey.
A woman would have just as much as an advantage in those cases - you don't need much strength to fire a bullet - yet ex-wives/gf's don't do this in the numbers ex-husbands/bf's do.

 

True but I think that has a lot to do with men being more likely to just have guns in the home. Women are usually not fans of firearms. Even men who don't hunt just like collecting them so access becomes a strong reason for men using them opposed to women. So in other words women please exercise your second ammendment right. I am a big fan of ever American getting a gun at 21.

 

Dude I am HUGE advocate for gun ownership. States with more legal gun owners have lower home invasion rates. I love my Remmington 870 Tactical. See my point Kunoichi lol

 

I may not agree with everything that is said but I certainly respect her right to state her feelings and opinions. IMO, the thread has taken a big turn from the original sense that it was all about men seeing women are "property" to an acknowledgement that there're other factors involved, PTSD in the case of returning troops, men experiencing depression and not dealing with the loss of finances, family and control and lastly, as stated by Mr. F, heat of passion crimes. We came to this point only because we "listened" to others and we debated the issues back and forth.

Your comment is just plain rude and adds nothing to the topic except incivility.. Perhaps, you should take the advise that you have given when you feel that others are attacking you, you always wonder why people resort to name calling and being rude.

 

I don't agree with his approach but Trix does bring up feminism in almost all her posts. It seems like EVERYTHING happens because men are "oppressing" women. I get that it happens but recognition of equality will not fix problems like this so I don't get why its brought up.