Goldigger vs. Wanted Someone Financially Stable

You are right that was not my intent. Luckily, lately I have been meeting nice men who do like to go out. I will admit that I am not willing to compromise AS MUCH as I did when I was younger and am more drawn to men I have more in common with.

Its not that I have meet men per se who don't want to go out, but more so men who don't want to compromise. For example, one man I dated always wanted to go to the SAME places all the time. I live in a major metro area with a LOT to do, and want to see different things and try different places. That doesn't always mean spending huge amounts of money. Wednesday night, I went with a date to a local roti take out(he paid) we than ate on the beach and took a nice walk and later got ice cream(i paid). It was a fun and enjoyable eveningas we got to talk a lot without distractions

A man does not have to pay $100 tickets etc to keep me happy. Just be self supporting and have the financial freedom to now and then be spontaneous and enjoy life. I have NEVER since I have been single turned down and invitation with family, friends or a boyfriend because of money.

One of my best friend's says and I quote, "Broke is cute in your 20s, but not in your 40s". I think that is true for BOTH genders. I know if I were a man, I would want a woman who could afford to do fun things and would could manage their money. I was reading the money is the #2 cause of divorce in America. Been there done that, so I guess I am overly cautious about making sure I date people that are financially sound.

 

I've come to realize this slowly but surely. For the longest time I really believed that the only way a woman could "love" me was by providing a comfortable situation which in part influenced me to do be in a stressful job I hated because of the money. People became a monetary chore which is shit way to live. It took downgrading my life to realize people who love you could care less if you're selling oranges on the side of the road or trading bonds on Wall St. you're pressence is present enough and a simple walk or a cup of coffee is an epic great time.

Don't get me wrong I still love money and want lots of it but not for the reasons I wanted it in the past but I think for some people it takes time to realize a good life is dictated more by having good people in it than good things or just good situations.

 

:smt038

 

Oh I could probably do better than that in a gym, but the only one in town has a horrible filtration system and the chalk dust in the air makes my asthma act up. The gym I had in Boston area (before diagnosis) was a second home to me, and they had a filtration system that worked (and they let me do some route setting, which was a blast).

 

I must spread reputation around before I can give it to you again.

You're right on the money. No pun intended. Yes, I'd want a guy I could do things with, but we're not going to have all the same interests. If I want to go to the ballet, and he wants to go play pool with his buddies, well, so be it, I'll go to the ballet with someone else.

If he doesn't have the same money I have, I can either choose to do expensive things with someone else, or pay for him once in a while, which is a whole different thing than supporting him entirely. My last serious guy made more than I did, but he had debt & child support obligations, so we split most expenses on dates, or he'd treat or I would for special things or occasions - the one that pops into my head first off is that I paid for us to go to a couple of concerts (Eric Clapton and Santana come to mind) that I knew he'd thoroughly enjoy (as I would) but which I knew he couldn't swing paying for at that particular time. We'd planned a vacation in Maine (we were living in MA) when I discovered Colorado, and the only difference in the cost of the vacation was the plane fare. I wanted to explore Colorado, so I picked up the plane fare, and we split the rest. It's just not that tough to do if you really want to be with someone and your money situations aren't in sync.

 

We are far from broke, but I still prefer simple things. I know stiletoes you understood that all my emphasis was is that the material is not so important in a marriage and society focusses on it too much.

In my humble experience, there are some women (and men) out there too intent on trading up and not putting in their own individual hard work or believe it's possible to build a dream with someone, not walk right into it. I know you wernt saying that, though stiletoes. If money is important, most very rich who are self made of course started out broke and prefer the pleasures when broke was "cute" sometimes, course that's easy if you have the luxury of choice though.

 

That's a shame. My gym has a really bad one too (bloody fitness first!!) I think I will change . Mostly it's nicer outdoors i guess. Never done real climbing, would like to try.

 

I didn't know a refugee attorney and an African rasta musician/drum player get majorly compensated in OZ land, lol

 

In my humble opinion, it's the most fun you can have standing up. I miss it fiercely..not only the exercise and being in that kind of shape, but the intellectual side of it as well. It's like working a three dimensional jigsaw puzzle with your body as one of the pieces. You have to think ahead a few moves.

 

Real climbing is very very zen. I love it - you really should try. Its a fantastic feeling.

 

Haha.. Saying that made me sound like a fuckwit but worried my point was missed.


I chose that after a more intense period in the mill and was careful during that time to build passive income streams so I could follow my
Real passion after a while with complete independence.

Don't focus on the African thing. He sings too but drumming is really the thing. In some markets i don't think people generally would realise he is African.

What you say is mostly true though More artists than you realise lay down with live percussion. You can be lucky with a few big hooks though. Touring is hard but also provides a lifestyle.

True even though he has long griot history he had nothing much in our terms when he was brought put by a french outfit to play at an arts festival.

 

It's the weed greenhouse that provides the major revenue stream.

 

I figured, that's why you make all these international trips. Using your college degree as a cover up, while smuggling diamonds & drugs, lol you give Balkan women a bad name. :smt081

 

Totally, unlike that dumbass schapelle though I don't smuggle to anywhere with the death penalty that my government has fragile diplomatic relations with.

 

Hmm maybe i will just do that..

 

Excellent point MF.

Regarding other posts: I do appreciate what I can do because for most of my life I could not do. I still love climbing the mountains (rock and ice) for free, love swimming at the local lake for free, love playing music for free at home and love hiking for free. But since I also can go to the opera, or can scuba dive, I do and I'd love to have someone that can join me.

I have been taken advantage of financially which is one of the reasons that I want a partner, not a DEPENDENT. It may seem trifling, or picky, but I know what I want and that's that. I want a partner emotionally, physically and financially (at least I don't want to spend 40 years supporting someone that could easily be working).

 

Agreed, it's beautiful. Until you peal off a plate size chunk of ice that pelts you in the face, but hey, that's a risk soooo worth taking I prefer outdoor climbing to gym climbing any day.

 

Hell yes. But it's far riskier, and I wouldnt necessarily trust my body on s multi-pitch trad climb anymore. I sure as hell won't be able to trad lead again :-(

 

I don't get the not working thing. That's so weird to me. How do you feel like a man?

 

Or a woman. I'm not working due to the MS and I have a really hard time with it. I don't know what to do with myself, I'm bored, and I have this horrid feeling about not contributing to society. I paid for my disability insurance, but still, I feel like it's wrong not to be working.