Goldigger vs. Wanted Someone Financially Stable

Discussion in 'Conversations Between White Women and Black Men' started by stiletoes, Jul 20, 2011.

  1. lippy

    lippy Well-Known Member

    this ^

    if i want to go on vacation...see a concert...go to a show...i want someone that can afford to do the things i want to do...i am more than willing to contribute to our home...cars...vacations...retirement...i just want someone that is on the same level of contribution...little less is fine...little more is fine...too much more and i will feel the need to take on more in my career get a raise...
     
  2. Iggy

    Iggy Banned

    What age bracket are you talking about here (over 50???)
     
  3. lippy

    lippy Well-Known Member

    :smt011noooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
     
  4. Iggy

    Iggy Banned

    well then speak up and let me know which age bracket you're refering to. I am only in my 20s and we dont think this way ( I highly doubt the guys in their 30s think this way as well)

    Must be an old person think imo;)
     
  5. TreePixie

    TreePixie New Member

    :smt018:smt018
     
  6. lippy

    lippy Well-Known Member

    sooooooooo do you have a plan for the future? it is very possible you are not there yet...but one day in the future you will consider owning a home...or traveling...taking regular vacations...having a family...furnishing a home...when that all starts to happen for you...you may decide that you hope the girl working at arbys is almost through with her degree and moving on to a career that equals or compliments yours so that together you can build a future
     
  7. FG

    FG Well-Known Member

    Sometimes your a little naive and narrow-minded.
    I have never dated someone in their 50s.

    I have experienced this for quite some time on a regular basis, where it in the beginning is not an issue but eventually becomes one - its not uncommon men fall for the pressure and -perceived- outside view that they should earn more than their woman.

    On the flipside of that, I have never ran into a man that wants to take advantage of me economically either so that is great.
     
  8. 4north1side2

    4north1side2 Well-Known Member

    Shhhh... Just watch the evolution of a naive little boy grow into old jaded bitter man within the coming years.
     
  9. 4north1side2

    4north1side2 Well-Known Member

    Brah, everytime you post someone should be cutting you a check... or atleast buying you a beer. It's like God himself posts on this forum LMAO.
     
  10. whikle

    whikle Well-Known Member

    I think rather than how much money a man has, I'd be interested in his fiscal responsibility and attitude towards financial matters. Does he save for things he wants or does he get himself into unnecessary debt? Does he budget? I'd be happy for a boyfriend to make the same assessment of the way I handle my money too. It's fair if the relationship is heading in a serious direction.
     
  11. Athena

    Athena New Member

    I have met my share of male gold diggers especially where I live now, lol. I want a man that can support himself and can keep up to me with the things that I like to do (dive, travel, arts...). I completely understand brief periods of one partner propping up the other but this should not be a lifetime event.

    I fully believe in splitting the bills 50% including the down payment for a house. If I put in the full down payment, likely it's only going to be my name on the deed.

    I've long since lost any naiveté regarding happily ever afters, so I look for the real meat and bones that make a relationship viable such as financial stability in both partners, similar goals and timelines, some shared interests, etc.. There's no way I'd let the man pay for everything nor do I want to do the same. I have always been like this and will not change any time soon so for those posters who believe all women act like privileged divas, I am proof this isn't true. :)

    I want a partner, not a dependent.
     
  12. The Dark King

    The Dark King Well-Known Member

    Well put yourself in the rare category my friend.

    I keep seeing that the women basically want an activity partner. Very interesting.
     
  13. The Dark King

    The Dark King Well-Known Member

    Lol real talk
     
  14. Athena

    Athena New Member

    I do want an activity partner and so much more. I much prefer to share activities with my partner than to have to go it alone. In fact I prefer to meet people doing what I love than on a dating site for example. It adds depth to the relationship when you can have fun outside of the home, IMO. :)

    EDIT: when my former husband and I split, I lost my favourite climbing buddy and haven't climbed since :( I need a new one!
     
  15. TreePixie

    TreePixie New Member

    I was a climber until the MS hit - now I don't know anyone here I'd trust enough to partner with outside.

    I climbed pretty solid 5.10, except for seriously overhanging stuff, but approached 5.11 with climbs which were slabby. Ex-dancer, I had excellent footwork and flexibility. I led 5.9 on trad climbs, and 5.10 on sport climbs.

    I live about 15 minutes from Garden of the Gods, and it breaks my heart I've never climbed there.
     
  16. Leksola

    Leksola New Member

    Affection and love is holding you tight while tears pour down your face.

    It's gauging your mood and understanding when you need time alone and when you need comfort.

    It's sharing a meal ( even if it's rice ) together.

    It's sitting by the hospital bed when you are sick.

    It's being responsible, and hard working and having a good attitude about money so you don't put undue pressure on your partner. That doesn't mean you have or he has a lot of it.

    A gift can be a token of love sure, but of course they don't actually form it. They are just decoration on top, theres gotta be something underneath.

    Mostly it's about the fact that people are conscious of social status. The west is not classless.

    You can miss out writing off a hard working guy still finding his way.

    A gift m
     
  17. The Dark King

    The Dark King Well-Known Member

    Seriously in what lab did they make you in?:smt017
     
  18. Leksola

    Leksola New Member

    Haha.. Aww. Strange for a white girl to say, but I guess I'm a rasta at heart. My parents were refugees from two different places and married for 40 years, guess that is an influence.

    Agree with other women that attitude is important, and you must understand each other. But you also gotta know that if your house, car, lifestyle and all the other shit that we pretend is life breaking falls down you will still be holding each other. I'm not as much of a naïveté as that makes me sound, I actually view that as practical.

    Materially, you should ultimately rely on you to support you. A poor had worker and sponge not the same thing. Same as not all fiscal dudes who can go halves etc etc have good attitudes. Case by case.
     
  19. The Dark King

    The Dark King Well-Known Member

    Any more like you at home, my uncles would fricking love you lol
     
  20. Tamstrong

    Tamstrong Administrator Staff Member

    Beautifully said, Leksola. Thank you. :smt038 :smt038 :smt038 :smt038 :smt038
     

Share This Page