marriage and money

Only Half of Couples Discuss Finances Prior to Marriage Despite Claiming Financial Honesty


http://www.countryfinancialsecurityindex.com/trendrelease.php

what advice would you give a couple about money before they get married

 

Talk finances, get a prenup, discuss separate or joint accounts, etc. Money is a part of life and marriage, to ignore it is naive.

 

Agreed. Plus it would help to get a financial plan together as well, plus a few accounts like savings, and retirement. And if you're tough enough, investments.

 

I agree and, as a side note, I think there should always be at least three bank accounts...one for the wife, one for the husband and one joint. I've met too many people who just have one joint account. Talk about losing your finacial freedom.

 

Woman Keeps Bank Account Hidden From Husband

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Me and my husband have joint accounts and it is not a problem. Although I haven't worked most of relationship either. He earns the money, it goes into a joint account I pay the bills. I let him know what's in there or how much is available and not set a side for a bill. If I spend money which I for the most part only buy household things we need. Luxuries are a once a year thing in my house. I let him know what the current balance is. He just like me don't really spend anything except for gas and cigs, snack cakes, chips, etc at store, and the occasional beer. He too buys clothes and stuff like that at that once a year time lol.

 

I still think seperate bank accounts are a must. No one should have to ask permission to buy themselves something, we're adults not children.

Not saying that's how it is with you, Regina. If it works for you, that's cool. But I've been raised this way. I'm very strongly against (especially in my own life) just having joint accounts. But everyone is different.

Also, I don't think it's my husbands business what's in my bank account. I also don't think it's my business what's in his. As long as we share out incomes as far as adding equally (in relation to our earnings) to the family (joint) account is concerned, our money is our business.
That doesn't mean I'd hide my money, just that I wouldn't discuss it with him. He's free to look at bank statements if he wants. But my money is my money, his money is his money and our money is our money.

 

The young Turds are wrong. Didn't Cenk go to law school? what a moron!

The chase bank employee broke the privacy rule and disclose the info to the husband, they should pay the whole 150Gs plus the attorney fee to the wife, period.

 

:smt045

 

WOW well my opinion is quite different. I don't think folks that can't handle having an account together should even be married. To me marriage is ALL about comingTOGETHER. There is no more I, or MINE. It's OURS. Otherwise I don't see even whats the point in be married. Marriage is about coming together as ONE not coming together and remaining separate. Having a joint account does not mean you have to ask permission to use your money. You have total access to it. But having a joint account does mean you have to be able to communicate, but I thought that too was a major part of marriage.

 

No no no, you misunderstand (although I think your view there is way extreme). I think there should be a joint account, absolutely there should. To me, that account is for family and home. But in ADDITION to that we have our seperate accounts. It's not that I don't think a couple shouldn't share their money, they should. Just they shouldn't get rid of their own accounts, simply add an additional joint account.

Re-read my posts. I mention in both that you should have a joint account. Geezuz, way to skim and miss the point.

 

I agree with you. The necessities should be paid from a joint account and then the leftover put into each persons account.

 

Actually, I believe that courts would decide in much the same way as the commentator suggests in his discussion. The decision to give the husband the money was the wife's decision alone, that is the issue. The bank broke privacy issues and would most likely be subject to the appropriate penalty. I wouldn't hazard a guess as to whether or not attorney's fees would be reimbursed as it might depend on the jurisdiction. Courts don't function to correct all perceived wrongs. They can only act on what is lawful and within their purview.

 

To me that still sounds like your unable to have a partnership. I don't believe in this "mine" and this is "yours" in a marriage. What's the point of being married if you are still keeping it separate. The point of being married is to work together not separately. If that is the kind of marriage you prefer then that is fine for you but to claim it as it the only and best way is ludicrous IMO.

 

lippy completly agrees..it should be ours, yours and mine....i think the difference here is that the women that agree that there should be both separate and a joint accounts work and make money...women that don't work just want a joint account...or they may get an allowance from their husband...it will be a cold day in hell when i have to take an allowance from a man...i would rather contribute to a joint account to pay all household bills relative to earnings and then have my own account

when i say relative to earnings if i make 75k and he makes 75k then we split the bills 50/50...if i make 80k and he makes 70k then i will contribute more to the joint account than he does or vice versa...large purchases will be decided on together but not purchased out of the joint account until each of us has contributed to the account...individual car payments and insurance are not considered household expenses...i'm talking mortgage, electric, water

 

I'm a joint account kind of person too, I don't really care much for individual accounts. It's not so much a matter of being treated like children.... actually, I'd say being able to trust each other with shared accounts speaks far more to adulthood and partnership. We both know our financial goals so we should both be able to make decisions to help achieve those. Or, in instances where one of us is considering a large purchase, (ie.,. big screen TV) I see no reason that we cannot discuss it.

However, I do understand those who may feel different on the matter.

The true right answer is that what may work for my marriage may not work for your marriage, and what works for your marriage may not work for mine... there's absolutely nothing wrong with that.

 

I have been a housewife for the past 5 yrs to my husband HOWEVER that was not always the case. In a previous marriage I worked at times being the only one that worked. Our account was still joint. There is no allowances or any of that crap. It's as simple as we have an account. All money goes in there. (Oh yeah last year when I worked for the census that too) We pay the bills and we discuss what we have available to us. Small purchases or just that and as long as we communicate on whats available it's not an issue. Big things we discuss with each other. If I need gas I have Debit card and so does my husband. If I need to $20 out for something it's as simple as an ATM stop for either of us. I just don't get this concept of "mine" in a marriage. There has been times where I was the only bread winner or brought in more income into the home but yet and still I never felt it was MINE. What I did was for OUR family and that would include my husband.

 

In my household my wife does all the finances. She is a financial genius in such things as investments and savings. We both sit down each Friday and have a finance meeting so to speak. From us both working we want to have the best for ourselves and son and any future child we may have. Our monthly savings are a $1,000 per month aside from investments. My wife has been the brains to make it happen and with taking care of all other financial concerns (mortgage, insurances, routine billings) in the household. I believe that finances are a shared activity within a family. Our ultimate goal is to have the collateral to someday go into a profitable business that we both will run. At the same time to save toward a goal of half a million dollars before we are 50 years of age.

 

I agree with both of you but as far as the allowance then I kind of depart from you. both parties should be on allowance especially when you are trying to be debt free. that is part of a budget. everyone should sacrifice.

 

You're very wrong on two accounts. 1. I AM able to have a partnership and 2. I did NOT state it was the only way. I said it was what I believed and how I was raised. You really need to read things properly. It was an OPINION. :roll:

And IN MY OPINION :roll: people should always have a sense of self in a marriage. It's certainly a partnership, but to lose that sense of self IN MY OPINION :roll: isn't a good thing.

It doesn't mean that you are not contributing to the family, or thinking about sharing your earnings, simply that you are being smart IN MY OPINION :roll: by allowing youself the freedom of not relying on another person entirely.

Personally (READ THAT WORD...IT'S IMPORTANT :roll I could never not work. I like earning my own cash. I've been reliant on another person in the past and I will never go back to that again. It was a humiliating experience.