Gentlemen...

WOW...this just means I'm old. For me, I would have simply given up my seat. I used to ride the subway an in D.C. it gets PACKED...if I'm sitting and a woman gets on I offer up my seat. Some women don't take it, some do....for the ones that don't take it.

It was how I was raised. I remember going to New York one year with my dad, a lady got on, and it didn't look to me like she was that old and my dad got up and offered his seat next to me and my brother...

...a couple more ladies got on and I just sat there. We got off, and my dad SMACK THE FUCK OUT OF ME....ha ha ha that stuck in my head. I open doors for women, I offer to help carry their bags, again TO ME this is what a man does.


...and thank you is not (nor should it be) a prerequisite for doing what a man is supposed to do. If the woman says "thank you" GREAT...if not...so what? In the end I didn't do it for her, I did it because it was the right thing to do.

The above is what spawned the NEW idea that "why do I have to do [..............] for a woman, and "Why do I have to be the one to lead the home"

BECAUSE YOU ARE A MAN...

 

Hells to the yes!! Damn...perfect. :smt038 :smt038 :smt038

wouldn't let me rep you, but I owe one for sure.

 

I will hold the door open for a lady, hell I'll hold the door open for a male. That is has less to do with there being an end to gentleman and more to do with you just bumping into a jerk.

 

This ^

"Common courtesy" is what my parents called it. Treat people (men and women) with respect and kindness. There are days when I really wish common courtesy was a little more common but that doesn't stop me from continuing to be courteous.

 

I don't think it would have killed you to be gender neutral but I understand. Honestly, I have never seen a young woman get up for an old man but that is just people being people. It is equal and not so much polite. right though since it is equal.

Tell me about it. calling people jackass and what not. certainly mature and lady like.

These questions were in response to your

despite the fact that I mentioned that I have gone out of my way to open doors for people you guess that I would sit there. I decided to start asking questions.

Never did I say you were suffering from it.

I didn't make it sound like you were pissed. What I was trying to do was point out the equality within this issue. Whoever gets to the seat gets to sit if someone offers it then by all means. If they choose not to then it is fine. I never at any point thought you were pissed at an event that did not happen to you at the bus stop at that time.

You can ignore equality when you want but that's on you. it only counts when you want it to count I see.

 

That is your choice to push inequality on others.I respect it because everyone should have the equal right to freedom of speech. I still support the right of one even If it is not my usual behavior as long as it is equal.
and you are right about the thank you. I shouldn't expect the thank you because they have the equal right to not give it. I was the one that went out of my way. However it still makes me feel good that someone appreciated that I took the time to do something nice for them. But I still can complain about the no thank you!

lastly the Why do I have to lead the home has never been the a question that I have ever heard of. You will be out on the street if you do not lead in your house no matter the gender. It is just about equality that I am trying to get through people's head.

Your gender should not matter when it comes to equality. It seems like it is something that people are still having trouble to this very day. Why it seems so troubling? I will never know.

 

:smt023 Good post, Arch. I'm here to lend you a hand. I agree with your posts.

 

The idea of "equality" in its raw form is a bit silly man. To the suggest that 'we are on the same" is both silly and short sighted.

If men and women were the same then both genders would be able to bare children.

If men and women were the same then both genders would have the same physical strength

If men and women were the same then both genders would handle stress and emotional triggers the same.

If men and women were the same then both genders would live as long as the other.

If men and women were the same then both genders would offer the same intangible traits to our children.

and on and on and on. The reality is that men and women are not the same, and this is by design. And those that don't understand it, don't get it. There are things that my mate leans on me for and things that I would lean on my mate for. Why? Because we aren't both equal. The reason why men and women couple is that that what HE is and what SHE is can come together in completion.

So the day I can give birth to a child, I'll give you an ear about "equality"

 

No, Parris. Think about it in terms of a social context. Women make less money than men do on the job. A guy could make $50,000 per year with his job, a woman could be working at the same place and make $45,000 per year. That's inequality, not equality.

 

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I agree that there are cases when you can not apply equality. This was not one of them though. Both genders can sit(if all is correct). We all have the freedom of speech. Both genders can ask for a seat. You don't have to be a different gender to use those rights. It truly is a question of if a person is sitting do they have to give up a seat. Ultimately no(unless violating other rules). Everyone should be able to sit on a bench if they get there first to sit.

 

Damn, lol. Go Ezzzzz on the kid, lol. I kinda see Arch's point to some extent but he is taking it a bit of extreme.

 

I instinctively always say thank you if a door is held open for me, but when I was in the US I was told off for saying thankyou, that it wasn't necessary?


Also, I'll always give up my seat for an older person male or female. I don't think that's gender related, it's just respect.

AND if I get to a door first, I will hold it open for a man. There's no reason why we can't all be curteous, it makes the world a more pleasent place.

 

Something I routinely do when a man opens the first door for me in a building that has two doors is to thank him and then reciprocate by opening the second door and allowing him to enter first. It surprises me how many men are surprised by my gesture. To me, it's just being courteous.

 

This is what I mean when I say you speaking about absolutes. Either we are equal or we aren't. We are men, and with that should come a responsibility. If we can't do something as simple as give up a seat...

...I believe that is a sad state.

It start with "I was here first" where does it end? From "I was here first" to "I'm bigger and stronger than you FUCKING MOVE?" This is a situation I think you and I will never agree.

NO SHADE..NO SHADE AT ALL..but what relationship did you have with your father, and more importantly what relationship did your father have with your mother?

 

My problem isn't the giving up of the seat but to give a person the freedom to decide on giving up a seat no matter the gender etc. again the equality factor is there. It is classical chivalry vs equality.

bigger and stronger isn't exactly what happen is it? When you get to the seat? You shouldn't have to wait for everyone under the sun to get there. You get there and sit. You can also ask if someone will give up their seat for you if you have issues but to have to give up your seat for say being the opposite gender or something. No, that is not fair and not equal. I think we will disagree on this. Certainly, we can agree on it being polite and you should do it but not have to do it.

I'm actually the favorite. Amazingly this came out of his mouth(I'd never say such a thing to any of my kids if I had any). I am the only child of three mind you that called him on father's day. so you see how bad stuff goes. I have seen it just destroy so much. My brother doesn't speak to my dad because he feels my dad doesn't treat him as equal as me. My sister pffft even worse of a nightmare because she didn't get to know him equally as me. so you got to put so many restraints to avoid such bad things.:smt102 equality is one of my restraints. treat every equal as you can. I am certainly aware of gender or race issues though.

My mom and dad split things equally what they could. My push for equality comes for both of these people actually. Particularly from the inequalities that were placed from them.

 

Mikey, that might be true, but this thread was not about equality until Archangel decided to turn it into that. It was simply based on an observation of some college kids who couldn't show a little bit of respect to their elders. How it got so out of hand, I will never know. :smt119

Besides, it's Friday night, I have better things to do with my time...

 

Yeah, you might be able to hit up a bar in Tampa or something tonight.

What college do you work at, by the way?

 

I'm like three hours from Tampa, so doubt that. But since I do have equal rights and all, I'm sure I can find something to do, lol.

Sorry - I'm a smartass. :smt105