THE DILEMMA

In the last year and half or so I have not met any phenomenal woman that I want to procreate and spend the rest of my life with. My Ex was a wonderful & semi phenomenal woman, lol, she was blowing me of for quite some time but lately she has been hounding me to procreate with her…… I thought about it and see nothing but drama coming, I believe that ship has sailed, so I will stay clear off that water.

This past week I had conversation with couple of close female friends about relationship, kids, marriage, etc…I told my friends I have not met THE WOMAN that I want to be involved with & procreate with since my Ex.. .one of my friend offered her eggs or uterus or both. I am afraid to take her up on it coz of possible drama and complication. I told her to keep our friendship drama free we better off not crossing that bridge. Then she suggested that the best thing for me to do is to go to reproductive clinic and buy the best gene, hahahaha. We discussed the scenario for some time, lol….. I know y’al gonna cuss me out and call me names but hear me out…what if I get the best match from the clinic and get a chance to have twins and on the top of it the Repro clinic provides reliable carrier (for 9 month, basically rental uterus, lol). I know it sounds crazy, and my folks are religious and old fashion… my mom will hang me upside down if she hears this so is my EX. But after the discussion with my friend just got me thinking what if the reproductive clinic can make sure to provide a twin and implant it in a rented uterus (I'd rather use a uterus of unknown woman than my friend’s, coz she can be attached to the kids and create commotion, lol)

I called my liberal very progressive highly educated cousin to talk to her about this; she told me “Boy you lost your damn mind, what the hell is this, Gattaca? some sort of superman creation?” and she slammed the phone on me, lol. When I called her back she said “fool, you need lots of prayer & I am dragging you to church” and laughed….


My question for fellow WWBM community.

1. What do you think about the idea that a successful career individual, who has been in several relationship before and now not meeting someone of his interest and also not putting a 100 % effort to meet someone special at this point but considers to procreate with this route?

2. Let’s say a very close friend of yours discuss this with you, would you offer your eggs or uterus for that close friend?

3. If you end up carrying the fetus but the eggs is not yours, would you be attach to it and consider keeping it for yourself?

4. If a guy goes to Repro clinic and ask for specific eye color, hair color, height, IQ level and specific gene criteria, do you think he is tampering with nature?

5. For the guys, would you consider it (like having a test tube baby, lol) and raise the kids without biological mother, possibly with a GF or a nanny?

I know it is a crazy idea, like I said it just got me thinking after that discussion..... I highly doubt that I am gonna go this route, I am just posting it for more discussion, just want your honest input, go eazzzzzzzy on the crazy idead & my crazy self, lol.

 

Never have a child with someone you don't want to be in constant contact with the rest of your life. That's all I got to say.

 

But JC, if the child is bought in a clinic in a sense (Lord pls don't strike me down) then you have no contact with anyone. The carrier will go to labor and delivery when the time comes and after the third day she is out of the picture.

 

I agree. And even if it's a surrogate type situation, I'd be leery about it.

The person could always change her mind, etc. It's very risky.

 

But if she agreed to carry and sign a paper work, I am sure she can be taken to the court. It is not her gene, she is just the carrier, she is just the vehicle, lol

 

I am coming from a 20 something year old point of view so I would not go down your road. I wouldn't consider it. Since women have a time constraint, it may be an issue for you since you may want to date women close to your age and if you are over 40.

I don't understand why you are having such huge issues. Is it your standards?

 

What happened to the Asian lady you were with?

 

I agree with this completely. And I would even go so far as to say, don't be scrumpin' with somebody you can't see yourself havin' kids with. That's my motto anyway, lol. :smt037

DOA - how old are you? And are you just wanting to reproduce for the sake of saying you made a kid? i'm not trying to step on your toes, i'm just posing a question bc that's kind of the vibe I got reading your post. if you're really wanting to have a child, have you thought about adoption? I mean, if you're willing to be a single parent, there are thousands of children out there who need homes. Just a thought.

 

Who are you going to raise this kid with with your busy career? Are you sure if you do this and find someone to share you life with down the line, you will be man with kid. Some women will not have a problem whatsoever.....others will factor it in.

And please look up surrogates who came back and wanted to be a part of the kids life. Get an awesome lawyer if you decide to do it. :smt058

Adding not that I think you shouldn't just trying to play devils advocate before you jump in here.

 

She is yesterday's news. I have went out with several WW since then. It appears women only give me three dates, three strike and I am out... me thinks they don't want to put up with my shitty atitude, :smt031

 

I wish that was the first thought in everyone's mind.

The man wants to pass on his genes. no adopted kid can do that.

 

I think it is my shitty atitude and my unique personality, just not finding someone to really click with. BTW I am not 40, just want to start family.

 

yeah, i thought about that after i said it...lol.

 

:shrug:

maybe Jordan will have your baby

 

LoL, I am older than dirt, just kiddin'... I don't want to put my biz on the street but I am still in young group for 1st time marriage, to start family, etc... I think I am in decent shape career wise to start family, unless of course if I want to pursue JD, which is a possibility. I just want to start having kids and live vicariously thru them, lol. When I was in grad school, my orthodox jewish friend was 22, married and and already had 3 kids. When I think about him, makes me feel I am behind schedule.

 

LoL, I guess I will just have to get a nany from a 3rd world country for the kids... And me just date with no string attached....I did hear about surrogates coming back b4, but like you said if I go this route will get some Ivy league trained shark attorney who will eat her up in court.

 

You are way too young to be thinking about artificially doing that. Just try to be more positive and keep going at it. If a person is getting close to 50 then yes. But you aren't even in your 40's. way too young, man

 

I know adoption is great, I know a close friend of mine in their late 20's who tried to get pregnant multiple times and failed and they've adopted a kid. Me personally I don't want adoption, call me selfish but I want to see my gene pass to next generation and possibly prosper (I know it is a selfish reason), sorry.

 

I do understand where you're coming from. I have felt that way at times when I look around and see my friends who have 2 and 3 kids already some of which are like 8 and 9yrs old, and I've got only one who's still under 2. I'll be 30 in a few months and would really like to have 2 or 3 more before my ovaries shrivel up and die. One thing I have to remind myself of from time to time, is that people start families later in life these days then they used too. And lucky for you, you're a man, so there's not as much pressure on you (from a medical point of view) to 'hurry up' and pop out some youngen's, ya know? With women, it's almost like our wombs scream at us "get on the stick, here lady, before I malfunction!!"...lol. Luckily for dudes, you guys can make babies well into your 60s, and even later, if need be...not to say that you want to wait that long, but you get my point, I'm sure. Alright, I'm just rambling, so I need to stop, lol. But my whole point is, I'm sure God will send you the right lady in His time. Stay strong, homes.

 

That's not selfish at all...I totally understand that. I think it takes a special person to adopt - it's definitely not for everyone.