Extemporaneously Mikey

http://whitewomenblackmen.com/forum/showpost.php?p=524153&postcount=327

Based on xoxo's request from the thread about BW, I've decided to create this thread. I'll swing by every few days to make a post about myself or something involving me here.

 

lol @ request

 

Why do I feel like kilobytes are wasting away...

 

http://www.whitewomenblackmen.com/forum/showthread.php?t=18225

Relating to this thread about America's tax reform, I completed my second essay, this one is about the Supreme Court's decision in the release of California's prison inmates.

 

Mikey.

Chill with the comma's dude. Seriously.

AND DID YOU REALLY WRITE '3RD' IN A COLLEGE ESSAY?!

I would have smacked my high school students upside the head with a binder if they even THOUGHT about doing something like that, never mind actually writing it and turning it in.

I would seriously consider visiting the writing center in your next college/university, and I never suggest that lightly. You need a lot of work in firming up your writing and supporting your arguments with facts. You say a whole bunch here without saying anything at all, and that's a real problem. Also- citations. Where are the citations? I've said this before APA and MLA both require in text citations. I'd have failed you for this essay based on that rule alone. Someone could argue you've plagiarized because you haven't identified sources properly. Your references at the bottom also need work.

 

These aren't necessarily english essays, they are for american gov. I think I'll do fine. I got an 82 on my english essay on morality.

 

FREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE POST!!!

 

Since it's for American Government then I think you should check the function of the U.S. Supreme Court and better support your declaration that California can't enforce its own laws. Also, I believe the ruling was that CA had to decrease its prison population by 30000; important in setting the context of the ruling. Second, you set up your essay pretty well with the following: "To get a complete understanding of why the Supreme Court has done this, we need to understand the reasoning of why they felt it was necessary to release the inmates. After understanding this, we should evaluate the social and economic consequences that the United States would have to face, as a result of the Supreme Court’s decision." However, your essay is very unclear in describing why the Supreme Court made the ruling.

This is a good topic but I think you need to tie the body of the essay back to the last couple sentences of your opening paragraph. :smt061

 

So...because it's not English class, English conventions don't matter?

 

OOOO I think I like you.

 

Hmm...good point DB. I remember from my college days (many, many years ago) that proper English/writing was required regardless of the class. I mean, college is supposed to be preparing you to enter the workforce with higher skills and knowledge...:smt023

 

:smt112 Thanks YMRA! I've had some practice with this kind of stuff seeing as how I have 2 in school. :smt061

 

Thanks. I guess DB was just sick and tired of seeing the commas in the essay. No offense intended to the users on here that live in Los Angeles or in other parts of California. I'm not sure why exactly the Supreme Court made the ruling, I think overpopulation was one reason. The facilities are designed to hold around 80,000 prisoners, and they have around 140,000 in them.

When you said "in-text" citations, I didn't need to use them because I'm not quoting the articles in a word-for-word context. I've read through it and then explained the essay in my own words. For English essays, I would use in-text citations. I don't wanna post those up, I prefer to post only these kinds of essays.

 

I taught English, Mikey, and I'm a professional writer NOW. You used commas INCORRECTLY, and your writing is loose and unclear. If an 82 is acceptable for you, then that's fine, but last I checked Ivy League schools require a little more than a B- average.

When you're in a university setting, you need to be using citations correctly for every subject. I wrote papers for psychology, history, business, law, and other courses and I ALWAYS HAD TO CITE EVERYTHING CORRECTLY.

 

Okay DB. Suppose that I used the commas just to annoy you? And I won't be going to an ivy-league school. I'll make the edits that you ask for.

 

Its possible but unlikely You didn't use the commas to annoy her. You used them because you didn't know any better. So instead of trying to be your usually wet nosed welp self, If I were you I would try to learn from her so that you could...

A. Write better papers
B. Learn something.

...and you need in text citations when the information you used is is quoted, paraphrased, or summarized. In short, if the shit didn't come out of thing you call a brain, you must properly give credit to the person who originated it.

 

Ymra, it's not plagarized. Besides, you two don't like me anyway. And yeah, I'm not the best writer, but I don't think I'm horrible. Goodlove is worse.

 

Mikey, I'm actually kind of surprised at the hypocritical nature of your attitude on this. When you first starting posting here you came on pretty strong concerning your belief that higher education was essential. Yet in this thread you seem to blow the whole point of higher education off: "These aren't necessarily english essays, they are for american gov. I think I'll do fine." If you really want a "higher education" then I think you should be more open to constructive comments from people like DB and YMRA who have higher education from both academics and real life experiences.

Both DB and YMRA and really trying to help you with your essay yet you seem offended they offer their help. I know YMRA can be bit crass at times but reread his comments, they are constructive and trying to keep you from being accused of plagiarism. Just because you read something then try rewrite it in your own words doesn't mean you don't need to cite your original reference. Also, if YMRA didn't like you he wouldn't have spent the time and effort to read through your essay and then provide constructive comments. I think he's trying to get you to be more respectful to DB and others that try to help.

You're on a good track hon, now just let yourself have some humility and accept help from others. You may not agree with what is offered, but you should at least considering it thoughtfully before negating it.

Ok, sorry...another mom moment..... :smt061

 

Ok, I'll do it. But yeah, Ymra doesn't like me after I threatened to report some of the posts he made here to the Federal Agencies/the Army.