Pops

What type of relationship do you have with your father?

Was he the example of the man you were to become? Or not

Ladies...was your pops the example of the man you were to seek as your own? Or not?

....what is your relationship with your father now?

 

I love my Dad. I think he's the best man on earth. We're really close, and I appreciate him more and more every day.

I don't think I actively look for a man like him, but I definitely prefer men who have similarities and I think I am drawn to them.

 

Wonderful! Man...I don't know I just woke up this morning missing my dad.

Ya know, I've dated women of varying races and nationalities...and the ones I have gotten serious with have all had something in common with my mother.

 

It's so weird that you posted this since last night I had an intense desire to call my father. We've been estranged for a number of years. Even though he lived in the house with us my entire childhood I think I would have been better off if he hadn't. Fuck egg shells we were all tip toeing like we were going through a mine field when that dude was home(this is why I always disagree with you about the two parent household thing). But despite that he stepped up to the plate and took care of home even though marriage and kids didn't seem like his thing. He's the guy who taught me how to hold my dick when I pissed, he chased the monsters away from under my bed and the closets before I went to bed, he bought me books every week when I was a kid. Every christmas we got at least one thing we wanted really bad because my dad never got any christmas presents as a kid. Despite all the beatings and the embarass heartless moments he's half the reason I'm here and I can't ignore that. I learned what it meant to be hard worker from my dad (he's 61 and has missed a total of 4 days of work in my 30 years of life and that was for kidney stones). So even though I never learned what it was to be a father or a good husband from the man sometimes learning what not to do is just as valuable.

 

My Dad is a child molester...

 

i love my dad...he is an amazing man...kind and generous...a friend to anyone and everyone he meets...funny...happy...he would give you the shirt off his back if you needed it or go home and get you an extra that he doesn't wear too often...he has been the rock in my son's life as a male figure and for that i will forever be grateful...now you got me tearing up just thinking about how special he is to us:smt022

 

My Dad rules. I have a great relationship with him. Probably talk to him a couple times a week.

 

Powerful brutha...powerful.

And in a way you don't see, you proved that point I have been making for sometime.

 

wow..amazing lippy.

 

Thanks man and I see what you're getting at. Having him around taught me certain things but it also left me with a mountain of insecurities. Its very hard for me to trust anyone or get close to anyone in a romantic way because I always think that if someone who was suppose to love me couldn't what chance do I have with someone who doesn't have those same requirements. No hugs, no praise for anything, just a lot of criticism(which now as an adult I get had more to do with him than me) which a lot of scars. If he had just been a weekend dad I probably would have been better off. There's nothing worst than feeling like you're not safe in your own home. If it wasn't for my mother and grandmother my ass would have been on the streets at 15 because that dude doesn't know how to communicate without hitting screaming or just throwing money at a problem. I can see you're a good dad who wants to be a major part of your kids' lives in a positive encouraging way but my relationshiip with my dad has held me back in so many ways. I have a 144 IQ(that's genius level not trying to brag trust me) I was exceptional in martial arts, I excelled in math and history as a child, I've written numerous short stories and had a poem published that I shared on here and I often think how much further I could have gone in life if home wasn't such a scary place for me. We stayed as quiet as church mice and just watched tv a lot so that he wouldn't get pissed. His pressance pushed my older brother to stay in the library all day and he does very well but with me like I said the scars are deep. So maybe you might want to rethink the one size mentality of parenting. Just because you had it good with your dad and you're good to your kids doesn't mean everyone is wired like that.

 

My father was fucking amazing. He was hard ass though. (Hard ass is an understatement). He was old school......and he talked in "lessons". He had very simple rules. Respect others, respect yourself, never be afraid to speak your mind, and NEVER BRING A "C" to my house.

You fucked up YOU KNEW IT...
..you did something good my dad would say "that's what you are supposed to do anyway"

You could NEVER say "i can't do it", NEVER and I mean EVER

You couldn't say

huh, what, uh huh. Everything was either

YES
NO

YES SIR
NO SIR

....fuck up and not say it that was your ass.

I ever fought my dad once. I was 18, just home from boot camp...thinking I could beat the world. Smarted off to my mom and my dad too me outside ...gloves on. I KNEW I could whip his old ass..no problem....

...that old man beat the snot out of me.

I remember wacthing Saturday Kung Fu on USA network. ha! We didn't watch much TV coming cuz at my house if you wanted to watch TV...you watched whatever my dad was watching. And he had a few standards.

News
Kung Fu
Boxing
Old Western Re-run

He was a boxer...he trained with Muhamed Ali. He was a Martial Arts expert, and an accomplished shooter. (funny all the shit I said I hated coming up I do/did the same thing. He didn't smile much. But he showed "tenderness" every now and then and if you needed him to fight for you...man!

We lived in the hood....wooo.....but my dad always made sure that house was the save place. A short time in my life it seemed I couldn't stay out of Juvy. I remember my dad showing up, he didn't bitch, he didn't complain, he didn't yell at me. He showed up with my school work and said "I'm disappointed, and remember, don't bring a C to my house" my dad talked to my teachers and go them to agree that if I did the work, I go credit for the work" so here I am doing homework in Juvenile Hall.

I remember getting my ass kicked one year and coming home damn near crying. I knew my father was going to kill me. My father simply asked "did you fight back" "yes sir" he said "ok....go wash up" and that was it.

My parents stayed married for over 40 years...9 children

Our relationship proved when I became a man in my own right. My dad made a big ass deal when I turned 21 to sit down and have a cigar and a drink with me. I'd call for advice, or to bitch, or just shoot the shit.

My dad taught me about cars, fighting, how to present myself as a man, and how to care for my children....

I'd only seen my father cry on two occasions.

1. The birth of my oldest son
2. When my mother died.

Before he died he told me that other thing that he wished he ha done was tell us how much he loved us and how proud he was. He told me to never forget to tell me children that.

When I am faced with challenges I miss the times when I can call him up and ask for advice. And his advice was never "You should do this" it was always in the form of questions"

Don't know why I woke up with him on my mind, but I really miss him.

 

I'd rep you if I could playboy.

 

My father is a hero to me and my seven brothers and two sisters. He has been the bedrock of strength and disipline that saw our family through extremley tough times. He is my idol and my role model. He is now seventy two and still going strong.

 

Lord no, he is the antithesis if what I want in a man. I don't have a relationship with him. If he were to change a few major things, then I'd love to know him.

 

Lost my pops when i was 15 and my brother who was 9 years older took over the dad duties and was very hard on me so to this day we ain't that close though he is 45 and i am 36 . Honestly anytime i see a grown man interact with his pops i feel jealous because that is something i will never get to experience

 

My parents got divorced when I was 2 and my dad was not much in my life until later -

I had my disappointments with him, some pretty big but we built a strong relationship in my late teens and we became VERY close. He was over at my apartment all of the time - he was a widower by then and we could sit and chat all through the night til early morning about world problems and philosophy etc.

When I had parties, my friends would ask for him - because he was a very funny dude.. so he would hang around for the beginning of the party, being the center of attention, but he always knew when to leave

He was a merchant marine and a flat race jockey, tough as nails but goofy as hell at the same time. He only needed to give you that "look" and you knew immediately that it was best to snap into shape. There was NO playing around with that. Even if he was a hard ass, he was very loving and funny and talented.

When he moved to Sweden, he taught himself the language as well as other languages when he traveled as a merchant marine - mostly in the Gulf.
-He listened to endogenous music from all over the world on his short wave radio, which rubbed off on me.. he played w tarot cards, painted etc.

A very unique man that made me always feel loved and supported and understood - even with the hiccups earlier in life in our relationship.

He is the one that has had the most influence in my life and I love him to the end of this world... He died in 95 and I miss him EVERY DAY!

Tarshi had to sleep w a pic of him looking over her when she was visiting me. LOL.

 

Why does she have a pic of your dad?

 

LMAO -oopps, edited.

 

I swear I thought it was going to be a big reveal like you Tarshi are actually sisters lol