Are you willing to negotiate monogam

foolish bravado. I would have had one my my sisters choke you until you urinated on yourself.

 

Well, I didn't say it was the wisest thing I've ever done or that I actually took the time to think about it or the consequences. But you live and you learn. Then get Luvs.

 

I am not saying if you are right or wrong. (overall) but its not CHEATING if..............never mind.

...and I damn sure ain't trying to change your mine.

 

Indeed, Indeed,

...my xwife slapped me once and my Gunnery Sergeant Sister want to pound her into a new dental plan. I've had to put my hand on two women

....involved a grenade
....the other involved a cell phone and a lot of blood.

Other than that no woman has ever been that foolish. Glad you learned.

 

To answer your question in short: No. If I'm committed to someone and we both agree that we are stuck together, based on a vow or a court decision until death do us apart, then there's no reason for us to compromise on whether we should explore other sexual ventures. This is strictly my personal take on the matter if I get married.

However, the reality is that we, as humans, are not wired to be monogamous and that's purely based on human nature. This explains why you see couples who engaged in a swingers's lifestyle and cuckoldry - to enhance their own sex lives and build their relationships. Again, it's all about mutual agreements between the spouses.

 

Polyamory seems alot more realistic then the traditional marriage.


We're mammals, monogamy goes against our biological nature.

 

Here's the trap I think most people fall into. They believe they'll know what they'll want for a lifetime and for some that may be true and for so many others it doesn't work that way. So many that half end in divorce. If colleges only graduated half the students each year that would be a failure, if hospitals lost half their patients that would be a failure, if car companies had only half their inventory work that would also be a failure so then why does marriage get a pass. Its failing and something needs to change. I know people like FG want to blame the people involved and they do have equal responsibility but if the institution fails to produce marriages where people stay together maybe it needs to change.

 

Lawd, this is a big fear of mine. Especially if the guy cheated on me and had a kid at that. I couldn't deal with it.

I'd hope that he'd respect me enough to let me know that he was unhappy and that I wasn't enough for him anymore (not blaming myself, but how he viewed things). It's hard to say what I'd do, cause the predicament isn't in my face now, but I know the child thing would kill me and I wouldn't be able to get over the infidelity of it all.

 

And people don't think I will get divorced in ten years either.

 

Thanks TammyTam! I agree w you.

 

Tam I agree with what you're saying as far as comunication but that was Ymra's original post. He clearly said informing your partner was part of the deal. I get making a commitment but to me the greatest part of that is being honest and not trying to love myself through someone else. Like I said before we only get one life one opportunity to experience this life and instead of restricting each other we should be enhancing those experiences.

 

I strongly agree, Tamstrong.

 

You guys are incredibly over simplistic but I guess being blind to what causes people to cheat is necessary to maintain the problem. Just sad.

 

Sleeping with tons of people really constitutes "enhanced experiences"? Come on.

The problem with marriage is NOT the institution of marriage. It's the flawed people entering into said marriage. The divorce rate is so high because most people can't/won't deal with a lot of tough situations to work through them. Many of those divorces happen because one or both lacked the maturity, the fortitude, and the commitment to face their issues head-on and try to work through them before throwing in the towel.

And I'm so tired of seeing "we're mammals, we're not meant for monogamy". Whatever. It's just a person looking for an excuse to not stay committed to one person, because that would require more work than they're willing to put into it.

 

There is a middle ground, you know. People who enter polyamorous relationships aren't automatically sex crazed maniacs lacking in morals/self-discipline, or weak minded people who can't handle commitment. The idea of negotiated monogamy comes about because people DO want to be in loving, committed, serious relationships but are willing to re-negotiate centuries old social norms.