What do you think about marriage?

Discussion in 'Conversations Between White Women and Black Men' started by Ymra, May 17, 2011.

  1. Ymra

    Ymra New Member

    ...do you still believe in marriage?
     
  2. The Dark King

    The Dark King Well-Known Member

    I believe in commitment but legally bonding myself to someone isn't my cup of tea. Seen too many dudes get taken to the cleaners after a bad divorce. To this day I don't get why dudes still pay alimony it's the fucking 50s
     
  3. Ymra

    Ymra New Member

    So you wouldn't get married out of fear?
     
  4. The Dark King

    The Dark King Well-Known Member

    Not fear just weighing a calculated risk. I want the ceremony but the legal documentation is bullshit. If I truly love a woman we don't need a piece of paper to keep me there and vice versa.
     
  5. Ymra

    Ymra New Member

    I tell people "If you want to all but ensure your committed relationship will fail...

    ...don't get married.
     
  6. Nico

    Nico Banned

    Pointless.


    The fact that people make a big deal out of it with the wedding and everything else is just a turn off.
     
  7. Mikey

    Mikey Well-Known Member

    Different take on it. I think marriage is critical for society.
     
  8. wtarshi

    wtarshi Well-Known Member

    my opinion sways. in one breath i think that it gives the people in the relationship a sense of security (both adults and children) knowing that they have a piece of paper saying that they belong to each other. in another breath, i think it's an outdated institution which really doesn't belong in society today...just look at the divorce rate and infidelity that is going on. if i had met the man that i married when i was older & had known him longer, i know that i would never of made that commitment to stay with him for the rest of my life. marriage doesn't have the same meaning as it did 50-60 years ago where people would stay with the person through bad times and the good. it's far too easy to get up and leave when the bad turns up.
     
  9. Mikey

    Mikey Well-Known Member

    The most important thing I see is about establishing a family tree and having a family name. How would the kids grow up and be raised, if there's no hierarchy in place for them and no-one for them to look up to, such as mom or dad?

    I think families are more prosperous when they have a mother and a father in the same household at the same time. With a loss of marriage, you have to think about the family structure for your offspring and their well being.

    Even though divorces hover around 40% or so in America, what is it like in other countries besides America? I think a reason why that is has to do with the way the people are (both men and women) and not that marriage its self is a system that doesn't work or is outdated.

    Tell me what you think?
     
  10. wtarshi

    wtarshi Well-Known Member

    both my children have a mum & dad. we just don't live under the same roof...but be aware mikey, my children have boundaries, rules, love & people to look up to. the fact that i am divorced DOES NOT change any of that. they also have a family name. they took their fathers, but would also like to add mine.

    my children have a family structure still, and my concern is ALWAYS about their wellbeing...!!! not being with their father has NOTHING to do with that at all...!!! my son is a year ahead in both maths and reading, my daughter is 6 months ahead. they are also both outgoing, happy and well mannered children. all this has been achieved even though both parents are not living under the same roof and haven't been since they were 18 months and 3 years of age.
     
  11. APPIAH

    APPIAH Well-Known Member

    I just know marriage is not for everybody:cool:
     
  12. Mikey

    Mikey Well-Known Member

    It's nice to hear that everything still works for you in Australia. I think in America, it's a little harder for everything to stay afloat if a parental figure in the household leaves. One of the most important things is that the family loses household income since (most likely) there is only one person that's paying the bills and contributing financially to household neccessities, such as the electricity bill and the mortgage payments.

    I'd prefer an American poster to respond, in addition to your response back to me.
     
  13. Ymra

    Ymra New Member

    divorced rate is around 50%
    The separation rate for people in COMMITTED long term relationships 90%

    ...not getting married allows for an easy out.

    add to that
    married couples live longer
    married couples have higher incomes
    married couples have lower risks of domestic violence.
    married couples earn more
    married couples are healthier
    children of married couples out pace children of "committed" relationships
    children of married couples graduate highschool and college and higher rates
    children of married couples are less likely to end up in jail or on drugs


    ....marriage ain't for everyone (shiit...TRUST ME ON THIS ONE...its hard fucking work and sometimes you wake up like WHAT THE FUCK)....but there are more pros than cons.

    Couples slull themselves into believing "We are still a family"...using the term family very loosely. Or "All that need is a good man in their lives".....the reality is (as a group) simply doesn't work.

    This is the part where someone comes in and tells me about their cousin's brother's uncle who [...insert counter argument...] or "but, but, but, Parris you can't say all" or "..but Parris, not necessarily"
     
    Last edited: May 18, 2011
  14. Ymra

    Ymra New Member

    but let me stop....(for today at least)

    cuz fat women
    single parenthood
    Tupac and Biggie

    ...are topics that can not be discussed without feelings being hurt.
     
  15. Mikey

    Mikey Well-Known Member

    Nah there's no problem with these kinds of topics, from my perspective. We can discuss them just fine.
     
  16. Ymra

    Ymra New Member

    that is because you are naive.
     
  17. whikle

    whikle Well-Known Member

    :smt045

    Now that ain't just a biased mother's opinion. Tarshi's kids are spectacular :)
     
  18. Ymra

    Ymra New Member

    I would suggest nothing less...nor would I expect that you would say anything other.
     
  19. Bookworm616

    Bookworm616 Well-Known Member

    Having been married (and divorced) twice, I left marriage number 2 saying that I'll likely never get married again, or if I did, it would be a LONG TIME before that happened.

    That being said, I agree with you, Ymra about married couples. I would definitely get married again (I'm likely just a sucker at this point. LOL).

    However, I am armed now with more knowledge about myself and a helluva lot more self-aware, so I'm hoping that if I'm lucky, it'll be third time's the charm. LOL.

    I think marriage is essential for the growth of society in general. I don't have numbers to back that statement up, that's strictly my opinion.
     
  20. lippy

    lippy Well-Known Member

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