I don't think there would be any concern if you were dating a WM. The sad thing is that it's hard for so many to believe that it's not based on the 'Mandingo' obsession on the part of WW who date BM. From the stupid comments & questions that come out of people's mouths, I think they're the ones with the sick fixation with the black penis. I don't understand why they cant'/won't comprehend or accept that a WW & BM can share something beautiful & real that has no basis whatsoever on stereotypes.
That's a big 'ole hump, MrFantastic. It's like when people finally drop the assumptions (which might not happen) then two people finally start to learn about each other. And it's not even in the penile respect, although it's come down (unfortunately) to race. 15 comin soon; I'm a little lazed.
I know that with my group of girl friends that they know my love and attraction for black men goes way deeper than some sexual fetish; however, it didn't stop some of them from asking if the myths were true. I think that a lot of it is just a natural curiosity, and I didn't mind when my girls asked me. Plus, I was housemates with the girls that did ask me. I'm sure that they heard things coming from my room that made them wonder. :smt042 Now, if a stranger or someone that I barely know asks, that's a totally different issue. That's when I become a smart ass. I was once sitting in the lobby of a restaurant waiting to be seated when a BMWW couple walked out the doors. This little old black lady in her Sunday finest looked at the people that were with her and said 'I guess that white girl likes that black dick.' I was completely shocked. I honestly couldn't believe my ears. It's a shame that's how some people view our unions. Unfortunately, I know what you are saying. I know that when I first joined this board, I was contacted by a few men; and, it was surprising to me how many asked why I dated BM. I really didn't have a good answer for that question. I've just always had a strong natural attraction to black men. If I walked in a room with 99 WM and 1 BM, I would notice the black man first. At some point, it dawned on me that these guys were trying to find out if my only interest in BM was a sexual one. I thought to myself that unfortunately it must be more prevelant than I realized if all these BM had to be so concerned with that for it to be the first question out of their mouth when they talked to me. It's a real shame. I agree with you about that. I think that we as WW are probably a lot more sensitive about it than the guys are. We are automatically on the attack of any woman that treats BM as just sexual objects. It gives us good girls a bad name.
I've had friends who knew why I dated BM ask questions out of curiosity; it's irritating but not upsetting when they do it because I know it's not coming from an ugly place, but folks I don't know who ask piss me off. My smart ass kicks into high gear at that point. It's definitely a shame that so many people think it's a sexual thing & that it couldn't possibly be anything but. I've also been asked the same question many times from BM, & I understand where they're coming from. I've known skanks that are attracted to BM based on stereotypes or novelty, & I can understand why they want to avoid women like that. I've always been naturally attracted to BM myself, & it's never been based on any of that garbage. I've always been drawn to BM & BM seem to be drawn to me. I can't explain why it is; it just naturally is. I agree, we don't like it when BM are treated like objects (sex or otherwise). Not only do we good girls not like to be given a bad name, we also feel very protective of BM & don't put up with them being disrespected.
I naturally respond to people's dumbass questions with something equally dumb... one of my favorites to respond to 'Are black guys as big as they say?' is to say something along the lines of 'Big? Oh yeah, they get to be full grown adults at some point.' It's a dumb answer- yes- but people really look at you for about ten seconds completely dumbfounded until it dawns on them what you just said. lol I get annoyed by the questions- even by my friends at this point, because they've known me long enough to know that I generally date BM and that's just the way it is. If you ask me dumbass questions *now*, then you now get dumbass answers. However, I have no problems with them cracking jokes about it now and then. They make comments about me liking my men like I like my coffee...dark and strong. I'm fine with that because that doesn't come from a bad place...and we all kid around like that constantly. MF- just asking here, but do you think that has something to do with the double-standard we've talked about on this forum before...that if a BM is dating a WW, it's kind of like some kind of status symbol? Are any of your friends in IR relationships?
Not amongst my friends. Actually spanish women are the bigger status symbol. All the black men outside of my family are in IR relationships.
Interesting. Why Spanish women? And that's pretty awesome how many people you know in IR relationships. Not so much up here. I know a few.
Supposedly they're the best of both worlds, they have white features but a black girl's body. They're also known for taking care of their men.
I don't know what to tell you on that Drae. Typically it's women asking me stupid questions & trying to get all up in my business. Like GG said, it usually boils down to curiosity about whether or not the stereotypes are true. Maybe people aren't as curious about WW as they are about what they've heard about BM. Most of the men I've run across who are curious (or baffled by my dating black men) don't ask questions; they tend to make ugly comments (like the asshole with the radiator hose remark). Maybe it's a double standard thing like DB mentioned. I can deal with some lighthearted joking, but the questions are annoying. The stupidest & funniest one I ever heard was after I had my son. I'd had a difficult pregnancy & was still dealing with the complications (hyperemeis gravidarum) from the pregnancy afterwards (it seemed to take forever to bounce back). My own mother, with stereotype in mind, blurted out one day, "His thing must have been too big & just messed everything up! That's gotta be why you had so many problems!" I laughed so hard (which pissed my mother off), I thought I was going to die. My mama is so silly. smh
Did this at the start of the thread, but will play again 1) I recently learned how to play darts and I'm good 2) I have a gorgeous 1 month old grandaughter 3) I have finally got back into writing my book. 4) I have 2 piercing, thinking about a 3rd and adding a tat 5) I speak decent Spanish and signed up to take an Italian class 6) I wrote my Master's Thesis on lynchings in Northern cities during the Depression 7) I am a natural redhead and when I have colored my hair, the red still comes through 8 ) I am afraid of birds, clowns, dolls, and people who don't blink 9) I'm addcated to Jersey Shore 10) I' addicted to Vitamin 'Water 11) I have reconsidered my stance on marriage since reuniting with my BF 12) I make AWESOME calaou, despite the fact I hate cooking 13) Most of my close friends are not white, except for my best guy friend 14) I love playing dodgeball 15) I adore stupid bumper stickers
MF...are you....flirting with me? :shock: lol But it actually does sound like me...lots of people have told me they know I'm Italian because of the way I'm shaped. AND I have a thing about cooking for people and taking care of them- but I enjoy doing that because it's part of my personality. The second I hear anything like 'Woman?! Where my DINNER?!' that taking care of you shit stops. lol It's just curious to me that it's Spanish women- although, they are freakin' gorgeous. My friend has been friends with this couple for years- they are all hispanic and OMG the wife is GORGEOUS... absolutely stunning. Wow..your mom said that? lol I'd just have to laugh if my mom said something like that- probably because she's such a damn prude all of the time. Being big-busted like I am, if I wear a tank top, she's like 'Um..don't you think that's a little...low cut for you, honey?' and I usually say 'What? Like people don't notice I have boobs? Might as well show 'em off a bit.' lol You know, it would probably be funny to have a thread about this- what dumb shit have people said to you about your IR, and what's your favorite comeback to stupid questions?
Yep, she said it. What's especially funny is I don't have a clue what his penis would have to do with anything other than getting me pregnant. The complications involved excessive morning sickness (I was hospitalizeed 3 times for dehydration), increased seizure activity, a case of food poisoning, blood pressure issues, & tons of stress from my family being mad at me over who got me pregnant. The stress & the seizures were probably what kicked my ass more than anything & made everything else worse. My mom used to get irritated that I didn't show off my assests more. She used to tell me all the time, "If you got it, flaunt it." I always thought my mom was weird, but she told me I was lucky I had curves. My mom was super skinny, & she looked like Olive Oyl, so she complained that she didn't have any curves to show off. Of course if I'd flaunted anything, my daddy would have killed me. Hmmm....the thread idea might just be interesting.
I'm always flirting kid lol. Have you ever seen a hispanic tomboy? I sure haven't those chicks are glossed up at age 5 until they get knocked up at 16
Oh Tam, that sounds like one rough pregnancy! You poor thing! At least your Mom has a sense of humor, though. My dad never took issue with what I wore... I never really dressed inappropriately, anyway. I was always pretty modest when I was younger. The first time I dressed up for Ren Faire and they put me in a corset I nearly died from the humiliation of it all. lol Not so much now.. But, to this day, my mom would prefer that I dress like a nun and wear turtlenecks every day of my life. F that, man.
Yeah, you're a perpetual flirt- just like me. Actually, I have seen a hispanic tomboy. LOL Oswego, remember? lol
It was very rough. Sadly though, my mom wasn't trying to be humorous, she was just that ignorant. It took her a few years to get over & accept the interracial aspect of my pregnancy. Thankfully my parents fell in love with their grandbaby. I couldn't even tell her myself that I was pregnant. I told my dad & he told her; she didn't handle it well at all. I was always pretty modest myself. My first time on display was in a skit I was in for the drama club's Christmas show my junior year of high school. I played a dirty old man's nurse & my costume looked like it came from Frederick's of Hollywood. It was super short & tight around my butt & boobs (with lots of cleaveage), & I had on white fishnets & super high heels. I was soooo embarrassed to go out on stage like that; I felt like I was in a skit for the Benny Hill Show. LOL