My nephew is 9 now & he's already been arrested (along with my 11 year old nephew) for breaking into a school & trashing the place. He's so used to the craziness, he doesn't know how to act. Before my bro & his ex divorced, she had started hitting my nephew. CPS took him from them so many times I lost count, but they always gave him back to them. Not only was there vilolence in the "home", they were both on drugs. My brother is doing better & he's been clean for a while, but the damage to my nephew has been done & it pisses me the fuck off. My brother was a psycho from about age 12 himself, which was when he started doing drugs. It's hard for my nephew to even accept affection from people. It's like he doesn't trust being shown any love & it breaks my heart. I hug & kiss & tell him I love him as much as I have opportunity to do. Even though he doesn't like to show it & tries to be tough, it's obvious he appreciates it.
Aww, Tamstrong, that has got to be hard to watch. For your nephew, crazy is normal. I can't tell you how many times I've seen that. Nevertheless, even if it's hard for him to accept, and even if it doesn't change his behavior, the love and affection you give him will have an impact.
It is hard. Something I always think about is the fact that he was a planned pregnancy. There came a time while they were "engaged" that they decided they wanted to have a baby. They both started trying to live better, they left the drugs alone, they stopped fighting, she went off the pill, & they started trying to conceive. I don't know why they didn't marry first instead of doing things backwards (they did marry before he was born), but I digress. After he was born, they were doing so well. They started off as good parents. My nephew was well taken care of & received plenty of love & he was a happy baby. It wasn't long though before drugs were part of the scenario again & things went to shit from there. My bro & his wife started fighting again; all the screaming & violence taking place in front of the baby. She started expressing the fact that she wished my nephew hadn't been born because she'd wanted a girl instead. I remember once when he was 3, he said to me, "I need a new mama because my mama hates me." & the look on his sad little face broke my heart. I found out she had a habit of screaming in his face on a regular basis telling him how much she hated him. It wasn't long after that he came up with a black eye, & she claimed she did it by accident. Of course I had already called CPS myself about them by that point. It turns out I wasn't the only one who'd turned them in. My brother, who finally has his shit together, has custody of his son, & he's trying to get my nephew back on track. I pray that it eventually happens. I agree that showing him as much love as I can will on some level has a positive impact, so I definitely plan to keep it up.
That video is old. Lamilton managed to do it again and earn him not only another time slot on the news but a episode of Boondocks too.
They might as well get this little guy fitted for an orange jumpsuit and teach him how to do the "perp-walk".
My brother had a case similar to this when he was a probation officer. A 6 y.o. kid took the mother's car on a joy ride. He was so small that he couldn't see over the dashboard and consequently hit two or three parked cars as he drove down the street. My brother said that he interviewed the kid and asked what happened. The little boy said, I wanted to go for a ride so I got in the car and put it on "D" and it went". There was another story in the news fairly recently about a mother who gave her very young son the keys to the car to drive his even younger brother to the store to purchase school suppliers. The kids were injured in an accident. It makes you wonder about the parenting skills of some adults. On a totally unrelated note, thinking about the lack of parenting skills made be think about an incident involving an incredible lack of parenting. As a kid, I recall riding with my father when he suddenly stopped the car in the middle of a residential street while it poured rain. He jumped out of the car and went to the front of the car and picked up something from the street. He walked across the street to a house and knocked on the door. When a lady opened the door he handed her what he had picked up in the street...a toddler that was sitting in the middle of the street. Sorry, I didn't mean to hijack the thread.
i feel so sad when i see things like this. i don't think about the punishment the child should receive, i think about his upbringing and why he is like he is. children are not born bad, i think it's a learned behaviour. he obviously hasn't had love, guidance, support and direction in his short life thus far. it's a damn shame.
This is not always true. I believe that some children are born with evil traits and bad intentions no matter what. You can give them all the love and affection in the world but they're gonna be who they're gonna be regardless.
i don't know about that. having held my children in my arms directly after giving birth to them and looking in their eyes, i don't believe there is any evil or bad in them...they are a blank slate, sponges to learn behaviours, rights and wrongs from you. they do have their own little personalities of course, but i honestly don't believe that any child is born bad.
I don't see children as being born "evil", but I think sometimes they could be born with a congenital disorder that can influence their behavior. I do agree though, it's usually due to a lousy upbringing.
Perhaps that's because your children had some very special mothers who were determined to allow them to be the best they could be. If only there were more loving mothers like you two lovely ladies.
:smt058 thank you tony...!!! but i must point out that i am not the only one to be praised for my children...you know the saying "it takes a village to raise a child"...it certainly rings true. i've been very blessed to have a wonderful relationship with their father, then i have my dad and friends who support both myself and my children. they are not just a product of my love, they are products of everyone that they are surrounded by.
Thank you so much, Tony. You are such a sweetheart & it's much appreciated. :smt058 I'd love to take all the credit, because I have worked hard to do right by my son, but I couldn't have done it without God. He's the one who's given me the strength & the determination to be a loving mama to my baby boy.