Why You're Not Married

Most men are easy to please my friend. Women are complicated lol.

 

I think men and women want similar things- we just come at them from different angles.

I am not married because I haven't met the person I want to be with long-term. I know relationships and marriage are difficult, and I'm willing to work at it. Many people expect to fall in love and that's it.

I am not married because I won't allow myself to be with someone who doesn't respect me, nor will I be with someone I do not respect. I want a partnership- not a dictatorship. I want to be with someone that I can talk to for hours or be completely silent with and it feels natural. I want to laugh with them, and I want to have fantastic sex.

These are not difficult things. People are married every day, yes, and often for the wrong reasons. I'm not planning my life around a fluffy white dress and a big party- I'm planning my life for me and I want to share that with someone. I don't need a fluffy white dress to do that- the party is a small bonus only because I'd get to share something awesome with the man I love and close friends and family. People lose sight of what's important.

I'd rather be unmarried and happy with myself than marry someone for the sake of marriage and be unhappy.

Articles like this piss me off because a lot of what marriage is means being ready for it. Many people aren't ready.

 

Well put my friend

 

My conclusion: some woman wants to marry Fellini-LA-Boy but he doesn't want to :smt043. :smt058

Oh, that sounds so marxist lol :smt043 (I agree)

 

You can do all that without marriage......

 

I am very happily married for going on 20 years so I cant claim to know what single life is like, but it seems very counter-intuitive to me for the author to be encouraging childless women to become moms first then look for husbands.

All the single men friends I know are not exactly thrilled at the prospect of taking care of another man's child, given the choice of a woman who does not yet have kids.

 

You're a rarity my friend

 

Once again we are talking about real life as opposed to women's fantasies. Point this out at your peril lest you be accused of "misogyny."

 

Only by the ones with kids. I can totally appreciate their position. I refuse to date a man with kids. I've done it- it will not happen again.

 

:smt043

 

I'm not married because I'm one bitter bitch and I hate men. Easy.

 

i completely understand why they wouldn't be too thrilled at the prospect of taking care of another man's child...but that wouldn't really be the case if the father of the child(ren) is still in the picture, the mother is receiving child care payments from the father & the mother is also working. i say this as i expect that it's not the children being in the house, but the $$$$ it takes to look after them that is the problem.

well you were in my fantasies...guess i can stop that now

in the end we must do what makes us happy. my ex has a gf who is 10 years younger than him who lives in another state and has no kids of her own. if we realistically look at their relationship, unless my ex would be willing to move state and see our kids less, she will be the one moving down here, moving to a remote beach suburb & deal with me if she dares step over the boundaries. i pity the woman really....i can be a real bitch when it comes to my children.

 

why have a man when you can get their most important bits battery operated (and be able to switch them on and off)...????

 

Amen sister

 

:smt043

 

Oooooh, I'm telling Nightline!

 

So that's why you're on this forum.

 

Yeah, yeah! :butthead:

 

I prefer dating men with kids. I have grown kids and a grandaughter. I have found them to be more understanding.

 

I can't picture this about you, Tarshi. I will take your word for it.

But see, that's my issue. I don't want where we live to be dictated by where HIS kids are. I don't want to deal with an ex-wife. I don't want to go to school plays for his kids, and I definitely don't want to go to little kids birthday parties.

Now, in the rare and cataclysmic event that I decided to have kids- then of course I would want to be involved in these things, but when you have no vested interest in the little people, it gets to be taxing.

Some people can do it, and I admire them. And I'm sure I've missed out on some great men because of it- but I know my limitations. I admire your ex's GF for being able to deal.