Anyone else refuse to date?

Indeed. It just makes solving conflicts much easier when both parties can admit their faults. I try to be as up front as possible with my quirks for a reason.

 

I'm as perfect as they come.

I agree, none of us are perfect and if we can be honest about our quirks and faults from the get-go, it makes things a lot easier. :smt023

 

At least you ladies aren't on 20/20 talking about this thread.

 

If that floats your boat Max, I have a Box load of issues that I openly declare all the time......
Soooo......wink...wink

 

I think it is by perspective. I am not different from you, what I"m NOT trying to do is to hop from one relationship to another. And that is another problem I think people have. Many (and sounds like) are looking for the NEXT relationship. When I'm meet a woman I am expecting nothing, nothing but conversation and for not to be an ax murder. And when I find out that she is looking for something I'm not........I'm out.

No drama, no issue, no "Oh man this again" and you know what? I have had some of the BEST interaction with women I have ever had. I am also honest (as honest as I can be)

1. I'm not looking for anything, not even sex
2. I am still trying to find out if there is something left.....of what I left
3. I'm a father and my children come LONG before you (which pissed some women off)

I'm as moody as they come, as much of a cynic as they make em' and I have enough understanding of how things to go to know. "Oh I give up" is a bit silly. Cuz let me tell you this, the way people are now.......is they way they will be when you finish taking your break and unless you change you perspective and outlook nothing will change.

 

But this is like saying "One should only be friends with only one person at a time" and "I" believe this is flawed. This reasons is that, even at the beginning, one should give all of ones time to one person.

And again, this is where "I" believe people go wrong. If a person is putting all of there energy into this one person and then come to find out this one person ain't it.....look at all that wasted energy.

 

I will say this. I don't mind dating a woman with a child, but here (again my opinion) is the mistake that some of the women I met think. They think I am supposed not only accept them straight off but I am supposed to accept their children right off as well. I make it clear. VERY CLEAR, the chances of you meeting my children are slim to next to none. Any woman that introduces her children to me and barley knows me is B.E.N.E.A.T.H. .M.E. and I am very serious on this point.

Because I put my children before me needs at all times, and you bringing your children around me, or inviting me to you house and your children are running and jumping and and calling me "Mr Ymra" means that you don't have their best intersted a heart. I believe women with children would fair better if they kept their children away from men early on in the relationship.

1) You give the man time to know YOU for YOU and THEN accept your children
2) You give yourself the time to know if this man is going to be around and worthy enough that that which is better than you. The life you created.

I had a lady I just met for a walk in the part, bring her 2 year old with her. NOT! If you don't have enough time to date, and have a child........then you shouldn't. (not you personally I am speaking in general)

 

I disagree...I see something wrong with it.

 

when the ex and i separated and went to mediation, one of the first things we discussed was when to introduce the kids to someone we are dating. we both agreed that we should be seeing that person for at least 6 months before introducing them to the kids & also, we should tell each other first out of a matter of courtesy. you will never see me bringing men in and out of my children's lives. they need to feel secure in their home and their life

 

Hey, you shouldn't be dating until your kids turn 14 anyway. Or was it 13? Maybe, 14. I have to refer to "Dating rules and guidelines" myself. I might have violated it already. But, yeah, unless you have solidified that new relationship, then it really wouldn't be setting a good example for your kids to meet every new person you may be dating for the moment.

 

face palm...!!! i can always rely on you to set me straight...!!! THANK YOU...!!!

 

What a pleasant discussion.

 

very good...good start

...my wife didn't meet my son until I proposed to her and that was two years into the relationship. Its that important to me.

 

wow 2 years. what would you have done if your son had taken an instant dislike to her...??? just wondering because after 2 years together you of course would have developed some very solid feelings for each other. would you continue down the path of matrimony or break up...??? i think i wouldn't wait that long to introduce the kids to someone just for that reason.

 

I would have left her.

....and I did.

When I first introduced her to him she said she didn't think she could really get married to me with the expectation that she would have to be a "mother figure" so we broke up.

....but, when you have children, its really not about you anymore.

my opinion of course.

 

i agree that it's not really about you anymore, but i'm also all for saving myself some heartache along the way. i couldn't wait 2 years and go out and buy that ring and start to make plans for a life together only then to introduce my kids to someone and find conflict and having that agonising decision to make. i do believe that as parents we too deserve to find happiness (of course not at the cost of the children's).

that's just my opinion of course

 

We agree.

For me...my children come before me. Before my desires, before what I want for myself, long before any person ever. And I ain't gonna lie, that shit hurt like hell....

...for a moment

...and then it passed.

and I have to state that there (tangible or otherwise) a difference between men and woman. I don't think that people with children should be under a self induced exile, but we bring people into our lives far far too son. Before we even know they are going to be around for any length of time. With divorce at around 50% (give a take some points)....the odds of a relationship ending within the first two years...

....90%

...but everyone thinks it won't be them.

Parents need to make sure this person is it...and even still there are no guarantees.

 

That statement I bolded is crap!! So a woman that was married, now divorced and has children needs to conform to what way in this world? I've dated women with children and hasn't worked out for me but I never told any woman "if you want a man conform".

 

Indeed...

...in fact I think that if a person is dating another person with children, they are the ones who need to conform.......or understand that person is simply not for them.

 

Aww shit, let me duck out of this discussion