what do white women love about black men?

kinda hard to 'hump em and dump em' when you're married

somehow, i don't think this is just about committing a sin. I think that plays a role. If a woman says she's waiting until marriage before letting you get a taste, throw her back into the water.

 

Redeemed One, I know I'm new here and this is a bit personal, but since you're a Christian, and every Christian I know has different standards, what are your personal beliefs regarding sex before marriage?

With the guy I dated, it became clear to me that he was just completely desperate to get married because of his beliefs and wanting to be able to finally release those desires. I mean, he was talking about proposing to me before we even met in person (we initially met online). Red flag. He has no concept of the amount of time it takes knowing someone before marriage could even be considered.

Unfortunately, I worry about him ever finding a woman because he's got quite a few quirks and his style is kind of pushy and awkward. He's already involved in a well-known megachurch so you would think there would be someone for him there, but no luck yet. (We're still in touch now and then as friends.) And very sadly, even in the Christian community, he shared with me that many white women he has approached have turned him down on race alone.

 

Well, personally for me, I do believe in establishing boundaries, as my goal has been to wait until I am to married before fully giving myself to someone. Myself and the woman I'm dating now have been together for a couple of years, and have believed in taking things slow. We're just now getting to the point of talking about the next step, engagement. And we still may give it another year or so before that. Like you said, it is different for different people.

Sadly, in many Christian circles sex and anything related has been made into a taboo topic, or a scandalous subject, so many believers (young ones in particular) end up rushing into a marriage they're not ready for and their relationships are reduced down to some long-term mating call/ritual rather than an actual romantic relationship. Any dang way, the boundaries in my relationship were more formally established by me, since in the past I've certainly taken a lot liberties with woman I've dated before my current girlfriend. I really do love her, so the way I see sex has changed, exponentially. I have tried to make an extra special effort to watch how far I let things go, to leave some sort of room for anticipation for when we wed. It certainly helps when you find someone that feels the same way. Makes things easier, especially if you're the chastity/virginity saving type.

If you're looking for a more biblical approach, rather than my personal feelings on the matter, then it would of course be that intercourse, or anything like it before marriage is not encouraged.

 

That is certainly true for those that want that, it would be hard.

Though, the whole humping and dumping deal has never been my style. However, even with my desire to put off the horizontal tango until the I do's, I still need some sort of kissing, hugging, cuddling, something. And thankfully I've yet to date a woman that has not felt the same way.

 

good luck with that, chief

 

Thanks. I'll admit, it's been a long road. lol



but I believe I can finish the race.

 

i feel ur pain tho

there's a church-type girl ive had my eyes on a few times

i was going to crack on lil'shorty, but i haven't, because id imagine her not only putting off sex until marriage, but everything else to present herself as a 'good christian'

hugging, kissing, cuddling are all important parts of a relationship to me. without the physical contact, i may as well be dating some girl on the internet :smt100

 

That's true. Though you never know until you try, she may surprise you in how close she lets you get to her. I've been with some Christian girls in the past that had no intentions of waiting.

If anything I remember one instance where I was the one who wanted to just sit and talk, rather than be some meat on a hook for her claw at everytime we got to together. lol

 

dunno

this one is like a 'jesus' freak

religion plays a huge role in her life

i wont deny her that, which is why i havent really pushed anything with her, even tho i can clearly tell she's interested

 

Thanks for the response, Redeemed One. You seem really sweet and sincere and your girlfriend is definitely blessed to have you in her life. I admire your boundaries and convictions.

And actually, abstaining was always my goal until I got myself into a very compromising situation with strong pressure from the guy I was dating. Not rape, because I was very much tempted too, but I never would have gone ahead if he wasn't pushing for it. It wasn't a good relationship, and he also knew what my committment was and pressured anyway. (This was a white guy, BTW)

Pettyofficer, I know you weren't asking for advice, but here I go anyway. :smt003 Someone who's a "Jesus freak," with her faith playing a large role in her life and being committed to abstinence, etc., is not the best match for someone who doesn't share those beliefs. In theory, she's supposed to be looking for a fellow Christian who can share her convictions.

Plus, she would be looking for a long-term relationship that would involve raising children in the Christian faith, etc. I know all this from personal experience, even though I'm a bit confused at the moment! Like I said, I identify more with liberal Christianity and I'm uncomfortable with the notion I was taught growing up, that all others are going to hell. And, as I've mentioned, I already "blew it" as some Christians would say, on the abstinence issue.

I'm probably going to get in trouble with the moderators for getting into a religious discussion on the wrong thread. Sorry!

 

i consider myself christian, but i dont go around asking what other people are, or pushing my religion onto others. I also believe in science and logic, and don't go around attributing every little thing to 'god.' this girl, on the other hand, is a little more devout and like i said, I don't want to change her so I don't mess with her. she's not bad looking tho

 

You just pretty much defined the way I feel. But some Christians, like the last guy I dated and the girl you're describing, are on a whole different level. Witnessing their faith to others is very important because they believe all who haven't accepted Christ are doomed to eternal hell. Everything is God-based and they're involved in a couple church services a week, plus small groups, outreach, etc. It's just not me. Sounds like you realize this too, but it's too bad when there's an attraction there.

 

Thanks! And the situation you had is the one I'm trying my hardest to avoid. I don't want to turn out to be that guy that you described, to my girlfriend. I think what helps me is that she wears a purity ring that she got back in high school. I see that on her finger and I know for her that is something she plans on wearing until the engagement or marriage (however long it is supposed to be worn lol) and so I don't want her to feel like she can no longer wear it. Hopefully we can continue to save ourselves for one another, it's hard (we've certainly had our steamy moments), but I think it can be done. Also, it helps that we've started talking engagement, because it reveals some light at the end of the tunnel knowing that soon we would be able to really be with one another sexually, as we start our life together.

Oh and good luck finding a strong Christian guy that will truly respect any boundaries you want to setup. Don't be discouraged, we still exist!

 

Hi you guys.. I am new to this site but have been reading it for a while... I love black men for many reasons. It is not shameful to be attracted to a certain race.. We all have preferences. I have been attracted to black guys ever since i was in my early teens. Its mostly because of their confidence and they manly attitude. I have felt very protected by black men and feel that the make me laugh the most. They have a presence about them that is just amazing. I am also attracted to the black and white contrast. I just love medium complexion on black men with deep set eyes and a nice smile. A guy who is smart and funny. Its just heaven for me.

Hi yall and thanks for this forum!

 

And I will say again, that young woman is incredibly blessed to have you in her life. I sincerely hope and pray that everything works out and that you two have a happy future ahead of you.

Thanks for the encouraging words, but I have more or less given up, for now anyway. :-| I have a pretty unusual life situation being a caregiver for ill family members, and I don't get out very much. Living in a semi-rural area doesn't help matters either. I try not to think about it much, that my life is more or less passing me by, because it's too depressing and there's no solution in sight.

But life goes on. And it puts a smile on my face just to know guys like you exist.

 

Appreciate hearing the sentiments.

Provides some quality insight. I have often heard some white women say that they love the confidence of black men and feel very protected with them and of course the black/white contrast is so stimulating and transcending.

 

Opposites attract

 

Most definitely, as cliche as that phrase is it has a lot of merit.

I just find it more stimulating and intense to be with someone of a different background, experiences, learning from them and them learning from me.

Being curious and open minded about different cultures, it is just a natural pull for me to be attracted to white women.

Maybe I'm partial to it, but while all interracial relationships are beautiful and are reflective of the personalities involved, the black male/white female relationships are the most visually and mentally powerful, generally because of historical and societal taboos that centered around the interaction. It just makes it that much more passion filled.

 

Okay. here are my 2 cents.

http://www.vibe.com/photo-galleries/white-women-who-love-black-men

The better question is "why do certain types of White Women like certain types of black men and vice versa"

Lets be completely honest. not all people are the same. and different people sometimes do similar or diff. things for different reasons or the same reasons.

like dating interacially.

lets take the best example. Heidi Klum & Seal

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Gprv8Yd-HKI

while times are changing, people in the U.S.A. are still in complete SHOCK at heidi and seal. Why? because here in the U.S.A.

dark black men who look like seal are not the IDEAL black man as for as what the standard is for pretty black looks are as far as men go here in the states.

his eyes, his nose, lips, color complexion, his overall features and his SCARS are not the STANDARD.



But hollywood has changed now. In order to be popular, STAY RELEVANT and get merchandising - you must do something to draw attention to yourself.

make a sex tape, get caught with drugs, write a revealing book etc.,

Heidi having babies with what is looked at in the states as a "ugly dark black man" has made people and the entertainment business interested in her. they know that if they put heidi on a magzine cover or a beauty ad or a yogurt ad. that it will SELL.



this is why she is getting alot of merchandising that she is getting. there is a "shock factor." Other women in hollywood are following her model and trying to date/marry dark black men hoping they can become successful like her. I think the best example is the Kardashians.

in the 90's heidi along with a few other white super models stars was really the american white mans sex fantasy. So i know for a fact that when american WM see her with Seal its a PURE SHOCK.



But being that i know that Heidil Kum is from germany - i understand it very well. And i personally have nothing against them being together.

german white women - love all of the diff complexions of brown skin. they also love dark brown skin on black men as well.

Why? because when we look at the history of germany and examine it closely the history of black people (MEN) is there - the only real blemish they have on them is the holocaust, hitler and the nazi movement in World War II. But african men and black american men have history in germany.

So essentially, germany has evolved into multicultural society that LOVES black men. I see now that Brown skin is very desireable and exotic to them.

what is viewed as "dark and ugly" here in the states is something that is very desireable somewhere else.

This is why they are the un-racist open minded people they are today. Especially when talking about german white women. Other countries like Sweden, France, and others feel the same way about black skin and black men. Black skin is very EXOTIC to hem.

Here in the states moreso but overseas as well. I really feel its SEVERAL things.

1. Inter Racial Pornography & Interacial Erotica in advertising (black men with white women). The word mandingo comes to mind.

http://www.racialicious.com/2008/01/22/interracial-porn-holding-us-back-while-getting-us-off-pt-1/

http://mattersofrace.blogspot.com/2009/06/interracial-porn-holding-us-back-while_20.html


2.The popularity & Merchandising of Hip Hop Culture / Rap Music and seeing different kinds of black men achieve success in different industries makes black men sexually attractive to WW.



3. Wealthy Black Athletes in Sports & Black Comedians in the comedy industry





So these factors and a few other give a black man a very SEXED UP image in today's world. the idea is that we all have long penis', we're great in bed, we can all dance, rap and sing and that we all have a strong sense humor and that because of racism that we face as MEN and prejudice within the black race and outside of it. Black men have this thick emotional skin that men in other cultures don't have.

but again. not all ww date interacially for the same reasons.

WW fall in 1 of these categories. Not all but alot do.


1. are open to dating / befriending BM but have TOO high of standards (i.e. he has to have a 6 figure income and looks like will smith)

2. wants to date / be-friend BM only because she is caught up on black myths and hip hop culture only (we're better lovers and well endowed)(we can dance and rap real well)(we supposedly more confident in ourselves)

3. She is with a BM as an act of rebellion against her friends/family who oppress her in some way, thus unfairly involving that BM in the drama (recently i overheard a WM telling his friend "yeah johnny we have some tar babies in the family now!")

But some WW see a BM for the MAN he is.

Its not about race always, his features, his complexion, his status or his income.

This MAN that she likes or loves happens to be a BM. So it isn't about his race always.

but its a topic with discussing.

 

Instead of boring us with all these psuedo-intellectual treatises and would-be thesises, maybe you should write a book instead, then we can ignore it on Amazon.