So had lunch with the Ex today

I don't get how him saying that is a bad thing. Him not wanting to committ till he met you is testament to how great he thinks you are. A guy who is just a serial monogamus tends feel safer and more secure in relationships and has little to do with you.
I thought most women craved to be that special girl who changes a man's mind.

 

LOL.....you know me I am prone to fits of hyperbole. Aye I said I will simply never understand the mind of a woman....

...ever.

 

This is what I don't understand. How was this a bad thing? I don't take it as "neediness" or understand how you got to the point from what he said. He was simply telling you that committing to someone was/is a life change and a difficult one a that. I think the "neediness came from you" (all jokes aside) and is the reason why you broke up with him.

Here is the problem. If the two of you ever do get back together he has lost trust in you. Trust that when he exposes himself (the inside of himself) that you won't take that and shove it down his throat. When he came to you and tol you is real feelings what he wanted to was affirmation...and what you gave him was condemnation.

You can't get that level of respect back again, so in thinking about you may want to just chalk this up as a stupid mistake and move on. You will never get back what you once had.

 

This part confuses me. Ive never equated neediness with hesitancy.

 

That's really up to him and he seems to be cool with it.

 

Many most women crave that. Not me. I want someone to be monogamous because it is right for THEM.

Never considered what you said about serial monogomists.

 

It was more like he wanted me with him every second of the day. In part it was due to him wnating to be with me, in part if was due to him wanting to be faithful. He told me so at lunch. I consider that sort of needy. I behave the same way regradless of who is around.

 

We talked about that too, and yes I broke up with hime for kind of that reason, I didn't want to fall deeper and have things backslide. I didn't want to be hurt by someone I was falling in love with.

Ymra....Nope if be we get back it won't be the same hopefully it will be a growing experience as we only grew closer and more comfortable during the relationship.

Honestly, I don't yet know what is going to happen. It really is up to him. All I do know is that 1. he is still part of my life and 2. I can't and won't be with anyone else for the foreseeable future. On that note. I need to go shopping and get my haircut

 

Sis, you seem to go from one extreme to the next.

1. YOU make the choice to break up with him for a reason you still have been able to intelligently articulate (and I'm not being an asshole I'm being dead serious) removing all choice from him with regards to the direction the two of you will take.

2. Now you are giving the complete choice to him, removing all choice from you with regards to direction the relationship will take.

Its really not "up to him" you pay a big role as well. I just think you are very confused and may not really be sure of what you want.

 

If you repeat this line again I'm going to start charging for usage.

She taught him something. Think Pavlov's dog. A response to stimuli which determines reactionary behavior. He will never relate to her the same way again. Never be as truthful, never be as open, never expose himself as he did before.

...ever...

You seem to be dreamer young sis, and that's good. But I think you destroyed any hope of this ever happening again. That's not the say that when/if the too of you get back together you won't have a strong relationship. But he will never make himself that exposed ever again and for this point on always guard his thoughts and emotions...

...no matter what he says, or what you believe.

 

could be that you are right, you also coud be wrong. people all react differently and behave differently depending on who they are involved with

 

You can only say what you'd do. Not every condition yields the same results. I personally wouldn't mess with her especially after knowing she wanted to try things with me again because things didn't work out with her last man but that's me. There are other dudes who aren't as prideful as you or I that make their relationships work. More power to them if they choose to live that way.

 

No way? Are you serious? I'm shocked and amazed!

 

Real funny smart ass lol

 

LOL I think it goes without saying that I could be right or wrong; however, the chances of me being right are better than the chances of me being wrong.

There is more than enough serious study that can give us a strong indication of what a person would do when places in a similar situation, akin to the reasonable person theory. ya know....each person owes a duty to behave as a reasonable person would under the same or similar circumstances. While the specific circumstances of each case will require varying kinds of conduct and degrees of care, the reasonable person standard undergoes no variation itself. Strong enough to predict the future with a certain degree of certainty.

Being able to predict the probability of a specific course of action based on an understanding of past events and socially acceptable norms.

I'm rambling...you get the idea.

So yeah its possible........unlikely, but possible.

 

LOL..I'm just sayin'

I'm just giving my opinion as we all are of course. I know I'm going again the e-kumbaya, group hug, WWBB.com modus operandi. But I gotta be me.

 

Was mr right fucking other women while you were fucking mr wrong?

 

:shock:

 

Its a good questions...cuz right now this shit is better than fiction.