Child Free by choice?

Discussion in 'Conversations Between White Women and Black Men' started by Bhayes, Jan 20, 2011.

  1. satyr

    satyr New Member

    Yes I would imagine that most, if not all, human cultures have prized child-bearing as an insurance policy against greater hardship in old age at some point in their history.

    China has become an economic giant in recent decades due to market reforms and the strict control of the Communist Party. One thing that's rarely mentioned is how old China is becoming demographically. Its one-child policy is a sensible response to its ballooning population, but the catch is that it places a larger burden on single offspring who may have to care for two parents and four grandparents. It's called the "four-two-one problem."


     
  2. stiletoes

    stiletoes Well-Known Member

    I had my first at 21 and my second at 25. I love my kids dearly, but in some ways regret marraige and kids at such a young age. I have been divorced for nearly 5 years, and I making up for the time that I was not single in my 20s.

    I will not have anymore kids by choice. At some point I want a life partner who I want to be childless with so we can enjoy each other. Besides I will be a grandmother in about a week, so why would I want more kids????
     
  3. Bookworm616

    Bookworm616 Well-Known Member

    I think you're confusing kids with idiot parents. LOL.

    Even as a parent, I ABHOR those other parents who do that with their children.

    When we're trying to get a seat for our group for a lunch at work and I see women bringing their babies and young children into a sit-down restaurant, at noon, during the work week, I want to scream. LOL. I NEVER did that with my daughter. I always went on off hours, if I had to take her with, for whatever reason.

    There is such a thing as common courtesy, which is sorely lacking in today's day and age. I also abhor the people who bring babies and their strollers to places where they KNOW are going to be a lot of people and they just walk and expect others to move out of their way.

    See? Even as a parent, we agree on this stuff. It's not just about being a parent, per se, it's about those selfish parents who expect others to bow to their will. Not every parent is like that. :smt023
     
  4. TheHuntress

    TheHuntress Well-Known Member

    LOL Yeah, Bookie, to some extent I am lumping them together. But, you can't deny that there's definitely a bias towards those with children. Parents jump all over a TV station for showing part of Janet Jackson's nipple and they bow down. It's a whole bunch of 'what about the CHILDREN?!' that drives me crazy. I'm so frustrated that I can't get my tubes tied by choice because our entire system is set up to just assume that every single woman wants to have babies- even if she doesn't now, she'll change her mind- and it's like...I'm 28, I'm not changing my mind on the subject. It's not like I'm 14 having a mood swing.

    And people confuse my frustration with all of this for an extreme dislike for children, and really...as I said, I don't dislike them...I love them- I just can't stand them sometimes, which is really different from hating them.
     
  5. Ra

    Ra Well-Known Member



    Welcome to the club. It's perfectly normal to can't stand kids sometimes, even if they are your own. Love my two to death but more times than not when they decide to test their boundaries.....

    [​IMG]
     
  6. TheHuntress

    TheHuntress Well-Known Member

    Yeah, that's what I keep hearing. ;)

    Really, the thing that confuses more people is my extreme negative physical response to pregnancy. They look at me like I'm unAmerican. lol
     
  7. Tamstrong

    Tamstrong Administrator Staff Member

    Whatever.

    :smt023

    :smt045
     
  8. Vamber

    Vamber New Member

    Yes I am confused. LOL

    When I was married we were very blessed to have three wonderful children, the youngest just turned 18 this month and will be married before the year is out.
    Grandkids are the next greatest thing. :smt036

    I do remember how it was for me after my youngest was little, she was a surprise and a very blessed one at that. Later I found out I had a choise to make.
    I'd been sick and they couldn't figure out what was wrong, when they did find out I was hit with two things.
    One, I would die if I didn't have an operation, two, if I had the operation, I couldn't have anymore children.
    I'd already planned on not having anymore, but still. When someone TELLS you that you can't have anymore, it hits you. The pain and the fact that some men don't think a woman is a real woman unless she can give him children.
    Not all men, just the heartless ones.

    It took a lot of thinking, but in the end I had the operation. My life now, is good.

    I'd never change having children, I simply feel blessed to have had them when I did.
     
  9. APPIAH

    APPIAH Well-Known Member

    In my country if oprah was a citizen she would be ridiculed and made fun of just because she doesnt have a kid and this has led to some women trying out other dudes to see if they can get pregnant especially if she realises its the man's fault smh its soo sad
     
  10. The Dark King

    The Dark King Well-Known Member

    I'm with you kid. Kids get entirely way too much attention. George Carlin has a brilliant bit about it.

    One time I a neighbor asked me to make sure I kept my blinds down all the way because she caught a glimpse of me naked one time and didn't want her kids to. I said I would absolutely not pull my blinds down anymore than I did because I need to crack the windows to get a cross breeze during the summer. She proceeded to tell me how inconsiderate I was and that I was endangering her kid's innocence. I then had to remind the idiot just because she had kids didn't mean I had to suffer. I was naked in my own apt and had every right to be. I'm so tired of people asking me to readjust my life because they wanted to have kids.
     
  11. LA

    LA Well-Known Member

    That's great news!


    Just curious, is your ex-husband a BM?
     
  12. Max Mosley

    Max Mosley Well-Known Member

    Now u know u shouldnt be talkin about children with that creepy ass av. :smt011
     
  13. Max Mosley

    Max Mosley Well-Known Member

    Thankfully the operation happened AFTER you had your children. Congrats on your youngest's wedding.
     
  14. Bookworm616

    Bookworm616 Well-Known Member

    LOL! Maybe I should get super sexual this week and creep everyone out.

    :smt077
     
  15. LA

    LA Well-Known Member

    Please don't.
     
  16. Bookworm616

    Bookworm616 Well-Known Member

    LOL. I'm not that cruel.
     
  17. mama

    mama Well-Known Member



    Are ya scared?
     
  18. Vamber

    Vamber New Member

    Thank You.:D
     
  19. Vamber

    Vamber New Member

    Yes I was very blessed and Thank you for your Congrats. :D
     
  20. Vamber

    Vamber New Member

    Thank You. :D
     

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