Absolutely correct Tam, I know it can sound very cliche, but I always stress liking women who are very intelligent. If a woman can talk to me about cultures in the world and history that is a very powerful thing to me. And to be honest being with a woman like that makes the intimacy even more intense knowing those kind of qualities she possesses. Its like a rich blend to me. Like you said the physical is cool, but it will wear down at some point, then that is when the true test begins as to the substance each person has in their makeup to create a successful relationship.:smt023
I met this one girl and on our first date she started talking about quantum physics and cubic roots of pi and shit. After that we started debating the pros and cons of Libertarianism. Sorry, to say and possibly offend, but those who promote themselves as intellectuals are usually no less shallow than those who showcase their beauty. Looking for someone who is your intellectual match is no more elitist than someone who looks for one who matches their them physically, or in wealth or social status. Stimulating conversation is wonderful and it's definitely a requirement, but you don't need an 'intellectual' for that.
Pretty much what everybody said, appearance attracts me but there must be some intellectual connection or it won't work. It happened to me that I didn't like a guy physically but then we had such a good intellectual connection that we ended up being together and I started appreciating his appearence too. About friends, I don't care about the look. I just care that we have things in common and we have a good intellectual feeling.
LOL, that's when you bring her to a center where you discuss things that you both share an interest in. You are right over-intellectuality can have its downfalls. The key is Balance and getting to know each other and sharing knowledge with one another without being overbearing in opinions.
The most important thing is compatability. If you can connect with someone on a mental level along with the physical, then you can have true intimacy (a.k.a. closeness). This is very true, Jaisee. It's not about wanting someone being an 'intellectual' in order for them to be an interesting person to connect with on a mental level. There's nothing attractive imo about an uppity, pretentious, shallow person. Arrogance is never an attractive quality. When we can connect someone on a level deeper than the physical, they definitely become more beautiful to us; it's very true that a person's inner beauty or lack thereof has an effect on how they look to us. :smt023
There has to be a slight attraction to her, but if she opens her mouth and there's nothinh interesting coming out. Then I will quickly loose my interest in her. Nothing is more of a turn off to me than a woman that I cannot hold a decent and meaningful conversation with. They way I look at it is, if she can't hold my interest before sex, then she sure as hell won't hold it after sex.
In a relationship I'd like an intellectual connection, with humor and a physical connection,too. They don't have to be 100% sparking each,but generally some of all 3 should be given. In a platonic friendship intellect and humor work fine.
It is the attraction to a man that initially sparks my interest. But looks can go only so far. A handsome man with an ugly heart is an ugly man. We need to have the right chemistry/vibe to continue with a relationship. A sense of humor is a MUST for me, as well as intelligence. If you can't make me laugh, or have an intelligent conversation with me, I won't be interested. As far as friends go, I don't care about the looks. If your personality jives with mine, we are good.
I know that this thread was mainly about physical versus intellectual connections, but I'd like to expound upon it a bit. To me, I prefer the emotional connection with a healthy dose of the physical. An example of emotional connection is empathy towards others. Unfortunately, it's the exact opposite of what is endorsed today in the cult of confidence as not caring what other people think. A kindhearted nature goes a long way with me even if it is not directed towards me. I usually take note. Intellect (in the broad sense meaning knowledge) can be gained or lost. It has happened, however, where I've been inexplicably pulled into a woman's intellect via her pentasyllabic soliloquy. But I think I had mentioned to her my love for words which she promptly used to her advantage. I think that's going on my next dating profile. “If you know words and like to say them with enunciation, I want to meet you.”
