Does Anyone else HATE when Blacks Say You Have Self Hate for Dating IR?

Im sure Im not the only one whose heard this or experienced it. Blacks telling you that you are a "sellout" or hate yourself because you only date white women. It's so retarded and makes no sense. They want you to feel like you are betraying your "own" and that if you find black women unattractive then it somehow means you find yourself unattractive. It's bull!

My feeling on it is, many black men who choose to date white women do so not only because they find them more physically appealing, but they find them and their culture more to their liking. I put it like this. Many BM dont hate black women, they just hate certain aspects of black culture. Yes there are classy intelligent attractive sophisticated BW out there, but to millions of inner city BM, thats not what they see. They see girls (physically) similar to Trina (rapper), Mary J. Blige, Macy Gracy, Precious (movie character), and ghetto low class KFC chicken eating dropout cursing swearing thug loving baby daddy having food stamp collecting trash. No Meagan Goods, Paula Pattons, Halle Berrys, or Stacey Dashes out here. They see guys sagging their jeans, saying the N word over and over, selling drugs, getting locked up, and just alot of negative things.

If this is "MY CULTURE", if this is what Im supposed to be proud of, if this is who my friends and girlfriends are supposed to be, then dont be surprised when upper middle class black kids who are sent to good private schools, who speak and dress and act proper (aka "white" to some ghetto kids) decide to go hang with white kids and date/bang white girls. My "culture" (the culture of other blacks) doesnt define me. I define who I am. Just because other blacks act this way doesnt mean I have to. But its this blind loyalty to ones "own" that has caused many to feel that if you hate what other blacks are doing you must hate "yourself" since what they do is some sort of representation of you and who you should be, and I just find that very wrong.:smt067

 

doing you doesnt mean you are a sellout

 

When anyone ask me why I date outside of my race my response is "because I can". I don't date WW,LW for any special reason, but if there is one it's because I love women in general. I'll admit I have never dated anyone of my own race which puts this crazy shock look on people's face if they ask. All this "BM are weak for dating WW" I think that comment will never go away. You are always going to have people say it simply because people are entitled to their own opinion. If someone thinks that about me then so be it. I know me and what I like. Some foolish comment is not going to change that in anyway.

 

a good book for you to take a look at is.



but you pretty much hit the nail on the head. My feelings mirror yorus in everway way.

take a look at these clips here.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jdxOLRVvIJY

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nbCGVGW-XNA

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=acKcDjiaAvk

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vZRp_UBNgLY&feature=related

me personally i'm going back to business school soon and i'm studing foreign language (french, spanish, italian, german etc.,) and i'm trying to aim my career into a scenario where i get to live in another country.

this is the only way i believe i will find some happiness. because my situation has been so bad that i'm fed up now. I can't take this "you're a sellout" non-sense anymore.

i can't say this is true for all IR couples. But the few BM/WW couples i have known. Usually the BM is a very high-strung black man because the environment in which he exists in beats him down so much as man that he has lots of pent-up rage in him. he gets flak from both white people and black people and even other races as well. everyone always stairs at him when he is with his WW or they call him a sellout. And of course his mixed race child/children get caught up in the prejudice that gets projected onto the parents.

But believe it or not, in other parts of the world people don't feel this way. its mostly here in the USA. That's not to say that racism doesn't exist in other parts of the world.

but the history of this country and racial tension really define why the "sellout" title is valid to some people. its sad really.

the only problem is this. Does the mainstream american white culture respect black men? i have to honestly say a big NO!

So its all one big pile of confusion. I say the best answer for BM is to identify the right country and get setup overseas.

 

I don't care who any grown adult chooses to date/love/marry, but IMO if you as a Black man deliberately exclude BW from the dating pool, that's kinda like WTF???:?

 

You do have ALOT of non white people who date white people because of self hate. So there is alot of truth in why someone might think a non white has self hate if they only date white people. That doesnt mean its true, but still there is a known history of non whites dating whites because of self hate.

 

I gotta rep you for this, good shit.

 

Man listen if I had a quarter for everytime I heard this horseshit i'd have enough money to have all the people who say that to me shot.

 

What if I feel like I don't ever connect with bw on any level? Besides just because I prefer blondes doesn't mean I exclude red heads I just like blondes plain and simple.

 

one thing i wanted to add. I agree with the comments about the diff. types of BW available to us.

but even the Megan Goods, Paula Pattons, Halle Barrys or Stacey Dashes have issues themselves.

take a look.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qWTXhHABj_A

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5C0jchEwPHk

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oYLeeHgjOCY


So at the end of the day, i say that for us BM that expect to have any happiness we are FORCED to look outside of black american culture and sample something different.

 

I do notice the undesirable black women you picked are black women who have more of an "African look" and the desirable black women you picked have more of a mixed look. So it wouldnt be a surprise as to why people might think you might suffer from a little self hate.

 

the self-hate part is partially true for some non-white people.

however, how can we ever really know what's on another persons mind?

diff kinds of BM have different reasons for wanting to date diff. kinds of WW.
there is no ONE reason for IR couples.

me personally, i find it uplifting that WW in some cultures find brown skin to be exotic and desireable.

because here in the USA black men get beat down on so many levels that its not even funny.

I now see why Wesley Snipes starting doing low budget action films overseas after the legal non-sense of the third blade movie went down.

over here black people attack his looks but overseas people love him and respect him.

 

This is bullshit! just because I'm Black doesn't mean I have be attracted to Black women, or give them a shot more than any "race" or group that doesn't.

 

I just watched those videos and what irks about it is it illustrates what I find to be the major problem with most American women today. This idea of wanting a man to be the provider yet wanting things to be equal. Whatever happened to team work?

By the way I disagree with the idea that bm can only find happiness outside the US. Dude don't be so afraid of life, go out and take some risks. There are some decent people out there.

 

too true. i can't understand why BW won't stop complaining and do some reaching out themselves. that is american BW by the way.

i feel its because no-one really wants a BW at the end of the day. I mean its painfully obvious. its in the numbers.

there are lots of diff. reasons why diff. kinds of BM want to be with diff. kinds of WW. there is no one-reason.

But BM realize that they don't have to put up with the non-sense anymore. yes there are self-hating non-whites. i agree with this comment.

But I honestly think that people from other cultures see the beating that lots of BM take in BM/BW relationships.

And while they admit that there are lots of attractive BW out there, at the end of the day what REAL MAN wants to deal with that type of drama.

i once was very pro-black and felt that i should only want a BW. but my eyes were opened along tim ago.

but this is very complex issue because there are so many levels to it.

 

It's whatever, I don't feel the need to comment on BW or the dudes that are with them, I wish some of them would do the same about our relationships. I'll will say for those Black folks who do comment negatively, if they had real "Black Love" with someone else they wouldn't care, bother, or have any dislike for the relationship choices of other Black people.

 

What's funny is dating outside of your race for any non white is self hate but not for whites. I wonder why?

And why are we the only race of people defined by the worst of us not the best. Talk about fucking propoganda.

 

Bhayes-you keep saying Wesley Snipes is dissed, but didnt the guy date Halle Berry b4? Also he is married to very attractive Asian woman. Isnt he one of the reason a lot WW cross over, i.e. jungle fever. I know some sistas diss him coz he aint Shemar moore or Denzel but from what I read a lot of WW who like dark skin seem to enjoy him. The only black and non black folks that I have read that diss him are the one who like light skin or round bald basket ball head type guys.

 

AMEN!!!!!! GO TELL IT ON THE MOUNTAIN!!!!

 

Coz for White guy who is dating outside of his race, he is doing a favor for that woman.

But for BM if you date outside of your race ppl think you're unhappy with you own kind and want to up regulate your gene.

Damn we have been brain washed and bambooozled by the legacy of slavery in this country.