Over Complimenting....

How do you feel about people over complimenting others? I mean beauty is in the eye of the beholder, but like Ive said a thousand times before, you can always come to a general consensus of what is and what is not attractive. Ive heard expat American men (Ive also heard men from other countries complain about their women too in this same light) say the problem with American men and women, is American men and women. Like the over complimenting American men give to average looking American women etc and how it leads to average looking women having big heads thinking their this and that when in all reality their just ok or average (This is not an attack on American women).

After hearing this, I got to thinking and it seems like (from my personal experience) men and women both over compliment each other (men tend to do it more than women in my opinion) way too much. I mean isnt a compliment suppose to come from the heart. Ive seen men compliment what would be considered below average women like the women are Greek goddesses or some shit. Ive seen some men do it to every woman they see, calling this one gorgeous, this one beautiful, etc. when the women arent even remotley close to being "gorgeous" or "beautiful".

It causes a big problem because the dating scale gets throwed off. You have 6's walking around like their 9's etc. with shitty attitudes thinking their top notch because some lame ass men decided the only way to get into these girls pants was to over compliment them. I mean like I said before beauty is in the eye of the beholder, but WTF is up with the desperation alot of men have when coming down to average to below average women. I mean are you that sex starved that you have to lie to a girl so you can fuck her.

I dont see women over complimenting men as much as I see men over complimenting women. Compliments lose there effect when you use them for everybody (regardless of how average they may really be). I feel like alot of people try to be nice by saying someone is beautiful, handsome, gorgeous, etc. when in all reality they think the person is plain looking or ugly. I mean we've all (for the most part) had one of those moments when a not so attractive friend, family member, etc. Ask you how do they look and instead of saying you look bad or like shit, you end up saying they look incredible or beautiful etc. because you dont want to hurt their feelings.

I know Im not tripping because me and a few people on the board (im not naming names) have observed the same shit on here. Id say the majority of people on the forum (including myself) are average to slightly above average.

If you call some plain jane or plain adam (I think I just coined a new phrase lol) beautiful, handsome, etc then wtf do you call an actual supermodel????? Over complimenting might seem like the nice thing to do because you dont want to hurt someones feelings, but on the forum you dont have to compliment on a persons pic if you dont truly find them beautiful etc. In person you can just say someone looks nice if you dont want to hurt a persons feelings. A person can be ugly, yet, still look nice....

Idk Im just posting an observation I see in real life and on the board. How do you feel about the subject? Dont use any cop out bs about "beauty is in the eye of the beholder", I already know that, but like I say in the earlier paragraphs you can come up with a general consensus.

If I say you're beautiful I mean exactly that, its not me trying to get into your pants or me trying to be nice. If I wanted to be nice without hurting feelings I would say you look nice (just cause I say you look nice doesnt mean you arent beautiful or gorgeous its just I dont over use words like that. Those words should have a genuine truthful meaning to them.).

 

I have to spread it around, so I cant rep you for this one but

THANK YOU!!!

Im glad you see what I see :smt038

 

I know Im not tripping because me and a few people on the board (im not naming names) have observed the same shit on here. Id say the majority of people on the forum (including myself) are average to slightly above average.

speak for yourself kushi ol i may be average to slightly above average, but god damn that tarshi is a walking, talking, breathing, perfect 10 and i know it lookin arse

 

Arrogant lately???? :smt079

 

moi...??? arrogant...??? NEVER...!!!!!







been spanked lately...???? :smt039

 

moi...??? spanked...??? MAYBE...!!!!!




reneged lately...???? :smt039

 

good to see you used the correct spelling this time

 

Kushi, you seem to be bothered by things that have no bearing on your life.

When someone over-compliments me (and I know the difference), I take it with a grain of salt and move on. I know what I am and I don't get a big head or high expectations that I could land a Brad Pitt lookalike.

It's nice to hear those things, even if you know them to not be entirely accurate. I'm sure most people treat those types of compliments like I do.

But I will say this: I see nothing wrong with people having self-confidence. She may be a 6 to you and an 8 to someone else, ya know?

I will be cliche here and say beauty truly is in the eye of the beholder. I do think that you can move up or down a couple of notches on the grading scale depending on the person who is looking at you. Do I think someone's 6 could be another person's 10 by strictly looking at them? No. I don't think there's that much of a variance, but I think it's entirely possible to be one person's 6, another person's 8, another person's 5, etc.

But I also think that your significant other can become a 10 to you, when you get to know them and their personality and you see them as a whole person and not just the outer shell.

That's my personal opinion, mind you. :smt023

 

This. :smt023

 

"oooo, don't hit on that one, she's got self confidence! Be careful, those ones bite!"



It's been my experience that the way you feel about someone changes how they appear to you.

So if we must be so archaic as to assign a 1-10 scale on a subject that is one of the most explosively subjective topics in the universe, it can be surmised that sometimes a 6 getting a good compliment could even be because the person giving it might actually view them as that hot cause they like them.

 

I fully agree with you bookie, but I think there are really some guys around here who give the same kind of attention to EVERY female posting her pic.

I know damn well that Im no Angelina Jolie.
So if I get the same compliments from a guy who gave it to a girl looking like her first and later I see him using the same line on a girl that looks more like Rosie O Donnell...well thats kinda strange isnt it?
So of course Im starting to wonder what the real intention is.
If a guy is into the Angelina Jolie type of girl, what are the odds he will be head over heels for Rosie O Donnell?
UNLESS he is, like Kushi said, so sex starved that he is willing to take what he can get. So he is over complimenting until the right girl (desperate, dick hungry,lonely) will show up and respond....

 

So basically you tried to get at some "average" chick and got rejected.

 

I understand what you're trying to say, but I think you misunderstood what Im trying to say. First off this does have bearings on my life and it does for everyone else. If you're single, over complimenting can play anywhere from minor role or major role in your dating life. In my oringinal post I stated that over complimenting messes up the dating hierarchy (so to speak). For the most part hot people date hot people, above average people date above average people, average people date average people, etc etc. Over complimenting fucks it up for everybody else. What most might consider a 5 walks around with a huge ego and acts like her shit dont stink because lame ass dudes feel the need to over compliment her average looking ass. Then, these average looking women think they're to good for average dudes (the guys they more than likely would be with if it wasnt for redundant/unwarranted complimenting).

I see this shit happen all the time, and when I see it, it tends to be guys over complimenting women more than women over compliment men. And it also seems to be because they feel that the only way to get laid is by lying to a person about that persons looks. Theres nothing wrong with having confidence, but there is something wrong with having a shitty attitude for no reason because you think you're this when in reality most consider you this.

Beauty is in the eye of the beholder, but at the same time we can ALWAYS come up with a general consensus of how attractive someone really is (plain and simple). I bet every dollar in my wallet right now that if we had a group of 100 men and we asked them how does Megan Fox look? Ibet atleast 80 of those men would say she is hot and the remaining 20 would say she is either pretty, cute, overrated, and you might have one oddball say she is ugly. If we took 100 men and asked them hoe does Kathy Bates look? The overwhelming majority would say she is average and the rest might say she is ugly, cute, pretty, and an oddball might say she is hot.

That beauty is in the eye of the beholder line is true,but at the same time its a fucking cop out.

Read my first post over again and read above.... There are people that are considered universally attractive (with an oddball here and there saying these people are ugly), there are people that are universally average (with an oddball saying these people are hot or flat out ugly), and you have people who would be considered universally ugly (with an oddball saying these people are hot or average)... What you might consider a 6 might grow into an 8 after you start liking their personality etc. but at face value that person was still a 6 when you met them.

Ive noticed people have different definitions for words. Ive heard some friends say that being sexy has nothing to do with looks and everything to do with attitude. Ive also heard people say sexy has everything to do with looks. The way people use words can play a factor in how people view others... Having said that, a person who is truly honest with themselves can look themselves in the mirror and say "hey im _____ to most people" and go on with their day with confidence. Most girls I meet say im either alright or cute (thats my bread and butter), I get the occasional girl who might say Im ugly or hot. But at the end of the day I dont let any of this bother me or fill my head up with cockyness, I take it all in stride.

 

:smt023....

 

What about the possibility that theres no agenda and the guy isnt at all into either girl and was raised to compliment on the good they see in good people, regardless if the woman has other flaws?

 

"Raised to compliment on the good they see in good people", has nothing to do with looks that has everything to do with personality. There is nothing wrong with complimenting a person based on personality, but the point Im trying to make is people over exaggerating someone elses looks (because of a hidden agenda or because they dont want to be mean). Your statement implies judging good people because of the good they have within, not the ugliness that may be on the outside.

You can say someone is a beautiful human being and be referring to their inner self, but I personally feel there are better words you can use besides ones that tend to describe looks.

 

Kush, I see what youre sayin to an extent. Personally... If theres a woman that isnt hot by popular standards but takes care of themselves and puts some effort into their look....I'll compliment them on what I DO like. Has nothing to do with wanting to get into their pants. Im not speaking for every guy, just myself.

When i mentioned personality I dont mean in the sense that ive had long conversations with her. I mean just a general vibe I get from their posts. I tend to ignore the devious/suspect types, even if they're the hottest thing walkin.

 

Hmmm...I would say "good point", BUT what about those females that just joined the page or post their pic for the first time?
They might not even have said "Hello" yet.
You already see the good in them?
I understand that a person looks better to you when you know that person and you like the character. It works the other way round too.
I met guys in the past that I considered to be "dating material" just from the looks but found out later that they are not that bright and too shallow, unreliable etc. so they became less attractive.
In real life you can also find a person attractivebecause of the the way the person is carrying him/herself. The way a person talks or the posture is something that adds or takes away from the attraction.
But ONLINE?
You see a pic (hopefully really his/hers) and you know what that person is willing to tell you/us.
I dont think you can see "the good" in a person that easy, especially when a person is not posting much which is telling you about their character and values.

 

I get what you're saying, hell when I see a person has lost weight or something I may compliment them on how much better they look. But I dont over do it, like I see others do. Giving a compliment where it is needed/warranted is great, but over doing it just comes off as being cheesy. If a person calls (what most would consider) an average person stunning, based on looks, then what does that person actually call a supermodel? You see what Im saying?

 

When I say "good" I mean simply a general vibe I get from them. Doesnt take much sometimes. But.. I see exactly what you mean.

I think theres needs to be some clarification on what were talkin about here. Agenda means everything. Are you making the same argument against guys that are "too nice" as well as guys that are trying to screw the easiest catch?