What's going on with you 2.0?

Thanks JC. Honestly I have been taking pics for a long time but recently took a course on underwater photography and it opened a whole new perspective for me. Now I take the most random underwater shots like of the fish with the yellow eyes. It's just such a hoot!

 

The colors are just so vibrant. Love them.

 

After two years in the remote Australian outback, I'm heading back to the city. I'm writing this from my empty house, with the car all packed, about to hit the road... Goodbye Tanami, it's been a blast! xxx

 

oh but honey.....you're coming back to melbourne & a new friend...!!! so much fun with this summer to come...!!! call me when you're ready :smt058

 

The past 16 days Ive seen more downs than ups. I guess it is true "when it rains it pours".... Friend dies, stress from school bs, tv goes out, out of nowhere (if this would of happen any other time it wouldnt of bothered me, but all this small shit starts to add up into one big pile of bs), then lastly, my laptop goes out, forcing me to have to reboot the whole system. My laptop works now, but I have to spend the rest of my day reuploading pics, music, etc. I was trying to hold back on buying a external hard drive until my bday but.... I wish I could break some shit right now, I know I would feel better afterwards.

 

:smt056

Awww, baby! Feel better!!!! Sending you cyber-hugs!!!

 

Persephone, that's awesome! I'm sure Nate will love the gaming system!!

whikle, good luck with the move!!

Kushton- chin up, man. I can empathize though. When it rains, it pours for sure. It'll all be OK! We're all behind you.

As for me...well...

I'm in A Midsummer Night's Dream with a local theater group, so I've been rehearsing for that. We go on in January. I will be singing the lullaby in the show, as well as a few other things, along with playing the part of a Fairy. It's my first show in six years, so I'm really excited to be doing it.

Also...as of tomorrow (I hope), I will have a new member of the family.

Some of you know that I already have this little lady...



Well, this little guy is going to join us. He's coming over to meet the dog I already have.


Super excited!! I hope they get along.

 

omg! i MISSED THIS!
fantastic!!!!!!
Im JEALOUS!!!!!

 

Awwww...cute puppy!!

Congrats and good luck on the show! Very awesome. :smt023

 

Me too!

 

I've been feeling overwhelmed lately.

You know the feeling: wake up, get ready for work, go to work, come home, eat dinner, do the dishes and then blink your eyes and the night is gone and it's time to go to bed to start the cycle all over again. :smt076

I just want time to stop for a bit so I can catch up. LOL.

I've come to the realization today that resistance is stopping me from going back to school. For years, I've thought about going back to school, researched the degrees I'm interested in, researched schools, went so far as to fill out applications, but something always keeps me from following through. I start to doubt things. What if there aren't any jobs? What if I can't make enough money at my new job to pay my student loans? What if I go through all of this only to find out that this job won't make me happy either?

There are days that I really wish I could just be happy working in the business world. But I can't. And I have to just power through the resistance, and go back to school and trust that I will be okay afterward.

Enough of my rambling. I so cannot wait for this weekend. No daughter, so it'll just be me and some wine. LOL.

 

My life literally was turned upside down on Wednesday night.

My drink was spiked when I was in a club and I was beaten and raped twice by someone I knew and trusted. The only reason I got away is because the neighbour heard my screams and I managed to sneak out when he fell asleep in the other room. The police found me on the street when I was running away. Ever since I've been in and out of police stations and hospitals. The guy is remanded for now but I'm not sure if he'll be released before trial. The evidence is really strong and the case looks good but I'm still very nervous. This has just put everything in perspective for me, things that seemed such a big deal before seem so pointless now. Luckily most of my injuries are superficial but I've had to get stitches on my foot because I 'degloved' my big toe as I was running away. My head is just crazy right now - partly I feel disgusting and dirty, partly feeling like somehow this is my fault, partly feeling sorry for the guy being locked up (WTF?!) and partly want to beat him with a baseball bat. I want to talk to him, I want him to tell me why he did this to me but I know there's no point in that. I've just totally lost my trust in people which is sad because before I was the most trusting (although verging on naive) person ever. Life goes on though, I'm just lucky I'm here. I'm just scared for the trial, I know rape trials are tricky but the police said they've not seen a case with as much evidence before and there are two witnesses which is very rare plus medical exams and the blood all over his apartment is kinda proof. I'll let everyone know how things go.

 

This is not the best place to open up like this; in fact, I think it's perhaps one of the worst.

Your candor is appreciated, nonetheless.

Please move forward with any legal proceedings, as that is the best recourse.

Please look into getting yourself examined by a medical professional for X, Y, and Z.

I almost never care when people use this forum to discuss their personal problems, but today I do. It is unlikely that this feeling will change with regard to your situation.

I am sorry.

I would appreciate it if everyone used this opportunity to be supportive and save any potential chastisement for private conversation. Just because you're human it doesn't mean that you cannot pretend to be something better.

 

You're right but I really don't have anyone to talk to at all. I just feel like I need to write it down and tell someone, anyone? I've tried telling people but the words just don't come out, I feel humilliated as ridiculous as it sounds. In my head I don't even know what's going on... everything is just a stupid blur and when I can stop crying I just feel numb. I just wish I could feel the way I did before.

 

Thats hella fucked up, I hope everything works out for you and that the guy gets locked up. This really goes to show that there is really only one person you can trust in life 100% and thats yourself. Its probably going to take awhile for you to start putting any level of trust into others (which is understandable). At least you're alive...

 

I understand that it's hard to discuss something like this with people in person LS, and so I see why you chose to share this here. Please know there aren't sufficient words to convey how sorry I am this happened to you. Also know this is not your fault, regardless of circumstances, no one has the right to rape you, or beat you, or hold you against your will. There is nothing you could do that makes that appropriate, or places any of the blame on you, nothing. I would encourage you to seek rape counseling services, they will be invaluable to helping you understand and make sense of the confusion you're experiencing. It's not something anyone else can do for you, but something you simply have to come to terms with on your own, in your own time. However, professional help and the support of people who have been through what you have can be really helpful.

People can sympathize with you, but only someone who has been through a similar experience can truly empathize and that's what you need right now. You are in my thoughts and prayers, and I left my contact information in rep for you.

Something like this is easier spoken about to complete strangers in a non face-to-face environment Satyr, so I understand why LS chose to do so here.

As for chastisement, anyone who would choose to chastise a rape victim needs their ass kicked. I would be appalled if anyone did so here, and would consider that completely inappropriate and highly offensive. LS shared something private and traumatic and it takes an enormous amount of courage to talk about rape. I believe in people speaking their mind, but in this case I have to say that if you can't be supportive then you need to keep your thoughts to yourself. The only appropriate responses to this type of traumatic experience are along the lines of 'I'm sorry' and 'He had no right, and you are not to blame', anything negative needs to just not be said.

 

ls, email me if you need to talk. you can send me a message through my facebook inbox or the email listed on my fb profile. im so sorry babe. if you want to get it out please email me. i know how you feel and its terrible. im so so sorry. if you can, get some trauma counseling. your emotions are fucked right now but you arent to blame and its not your fault this happened.

 

LS,

I'm so sorry to hear this. I am in agreement with the other ladies here: what happened to you is not your fault and you should seek some counseling as soon as possible.

I hope that the guy gets punished to the fullest extent of the law and then some.

I hope that you can find a way back to some normalcy soon, but I know that will take awhile.

Please know that there will always be people who will listen to you and help you out, as best as they can, when you need it. I may not have gone through what you went through, but I am a good listener, if you ever need to talk.

You are in my thoughts and prayers.

 

What you experienced was life-changing, Liquid Swords. I agree with those that suggested counseling. Surround yourself with support and allow yourself all the time and care you need to find "normalcy" again. I am so sorry that you have to go through this.