JUST need some education on this

As an african man with friends in the western world, i hear them complain about the fact that this IR thing is mostly between african-americans and white women and that african men are not really considered when it comes to the dating and sex thing.
I would like to know why . Is it cultural differences or is it stereotypical where people think african men cavort with wild animals in their domestic homes.I have been to some IR sites and some women specifically say they dont want african men but like blacks from europe and AMERICA.
So please enlighten this confused african who intends coming over to the the United States to study.Do i have a chance with a white woman(with a nice derriere).

 

Really can't help you here as I don't differentiate personally. I don't date assholes or men who smoke, but that's really about it for my dating criteria. I would say if someone tells you they wouldn't date you because you are African, that's someone you really don't want to know anyway.

On another note, how did you end up in the red on rep with only 5 posts? That might be a record.

 

Umm what is rep on rep if i may ask??

 

Rep = Reputation.

People can leave positive or negative reputation for you. If you go to Quick Links --> User Control Panel, you will see the reputation comments that have been left for you by other members. The fact that you have a red square beneath your name on your posts likely means someone has left you negative reputation.

It's odd to see someone as new as you who already has a red square. I think I've only seen that one other time on someone the same day they joined, that's why it stood out.

 

WOW i didnt know saying my personal preference would be a white woman with a nice derriere who could read books would give me bad rep so smh i dont need to be sweating in this hot african sun

 

well ive never dated an african american man, al the black men ive dated have been african, in fact 2 of the men ive dated have been ghanaian

ahh ghanaian men :smt054:smt057:smt049:smt060:smt055:smt058

 

Well i am happy my fellow ghanaian men have pleased you cuz we aim to please.

 

If you are speaking of the differences between African-born-African men and black Americans...for me it is a no brainer.

There aren't that many of you to begin with. Probably less than 1% of 1% as a group. Not to mention that first and second generation Africans generally live in the same community, pretty much separated from the rest of the country as a whole.

I think it has more to do with exposure than anything else.

 

I agree with you, Ymra. A lot of my friends who date BM rarely ever consider African men...and some of that has more to do with 'didn't consider' than 'wouldn't consider'.

APPIAH, come to the US, and chances are you will have your pick of white women who would love to get their hands on you.

 

lol well theres a reason they are exes

if you have a girl back in ghana dont try and be settling down with a girl in the country youve moved over to, trust me it wont be ending well

 

OK!!! NYU here i come and i am looking forward to more than just education hpefully lots of fun and by the way i dont believe in huddling in a particular community like a pack of wolves just because im an african i wanna explore literally and figuratively.

 

I see nothing wrong with living around those who are like you, in short living in your own community. Especially if you are an immigrant and first generation. The onlything I dislike about America is that coming here means (for lack of a better understanding) giving away your culture all under the guise of becoming "American"

...which really means "becoming white" since whites make up, by ever measurable means, the largest racial group in this country.

 

Appiah,your name reminds me of another African named Appiah who dated Peggy Cripps back in the day.

 

I knowticed that with a bunch of new members lately and wondered about it. People who have one post or none.

 

Well if they have no posts, they shouldn't have a red square. They have to post for people to have something to give rep on. However, we've had a lot of trolls lately, and one that's come back 6 times so far and I think each time people recognize her the instant she posts and neg rep her. So it's possible it looks like there are a bunch of newbies with red squares, when in fact about a 1/2 dozen are the same idiot.

 

I don't get this comment. There are few things you have to do as american. At your home, you can follow your culture as long as it does nto hurt anyone. What is simply asked in public is the standard. Speak English, wear the appropriate clothing etc.

 

The ones I have knowticed are not her; I don't think any way. jaybeeze28 is one there are others though.

 

Appiah is a very common name among the akan tribe of my country Ghana unfortunately i am not the one, wish i was though.

 

Well i want to say this. you have the right to be confused and/or frustrated, if that's how you feel.

A good friend of mine who travels around europe has said the same things that black african men sometimes get a bad rap.

but it really does depend on who you are surrounded with.

two links could help clear things up for you.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/High_yellow

http://www.library.yale.edu/~fboateng/akata.htm

this is just my personal opinion. it may very be flawed but its just my opinion. when you look at the history of our country and black people and standards for looks, culture clash and black history.

And when you consider what is looked at as standards for what is desirable it puts LOTS of africans / african americans at a HUGE disadvantage as far as opportunities to have dates/friends etc., here in the USA when dating inside our race. But it makes it even more of an issue for man going outside of his race.


But it even makes it almost impossible for a man of color who doesn't have the looks, the money, the status etc., when trying to get with american white women. Especially if he is African.

Our country is always changing. and times are changing. but some things will never change.

and that's just based on LOOKs and background.

i now see that all cultures / ethnicities have their own unique brand of self-hate. its not just us black people (africans-african-americans)

but relating it to your question. Its a thing of WHO you surround yourself with and what challenges you face.

I'm actually returning to Howard University next month. I took a 5 year break. Howard is a HBCU. I don't know much about NYU or the demographics there.

But the possibility of your being a MINORITY is very strong.

i do realize that there is a strong international presence here in the forums so i'm speaking from the perspective of someone who's here in Washington DC / Maryland.

but when talking about black people (african americans) there is a STANDARD for male and female beauty. Sure there will always be exceptions.

It is true that beauty is in the eye of the beholder.

but my experience has been that in order to have friends and dates and be respected on the male side you have to look like LL Cool J, Will Smith, or Shemar Moore

and on the female side BW feel the pressure to look like Beyonce, Alicia Keyes, Mariah Carrey, Rhianna, Halle Berry, Gabrielle Union etc.,






and for black men what you might not have in looks you'll have to make up for this in personality, money, talent and or status.

ie. you're rich, you have a nice car, nice clothes, or a great body (meaning your a bodybuilder and you workout) etc.,

I personally have always been in situations where High Yellow & Pretty is the standard for beauty as far as black people go.

And even the american white people around me most of my life whether they be men or women prefered the high yellow standard as well if they ever considered race mixing with black people.

But its not always a case of high yellow. not all fair skin black people are exactly handsome-pretty people. And not all dark-caramel complextion black people are ugly either.

but let me say this i'm now starting to see that what is considered undesireable here in the USA is thoguht to be exotic and beautiful in other parts of the world.

recently a german girl told me that i had a beautiful contagious smile. But most of my life i have always thought myself to be very average if not passable.

about 5 yrs ago. i knew a guy from inidia who had a nigerian girlfriend. And as far as the standard for black looks are in the USA she would be considered very very average looking , chubby nigerian girl. But this indian guy made her out to be this nubian princess that would be the mother of his children oneday.

But trust me. if he were raised in the USA he would not even consider the nigerian girl to be attactive to him.

As far as African-Culture - and background clashing with other cultures etc., and how african-men get a bad rap because of streotypes. i'm not really an expert on this.

a comedian named Michael Blackson makes fun of himself (his looks, his color, his african culture and so on) he is funny but its actually sad that he has to dump on himself in this way and men like him to make a career for himself.


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XCmsMoOiRY0&feature=fvst

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UrRCToE1FwY&feature=related

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ct5XknvbErI&feature=related

My suggestion is to try as hard as you can to take care of yourself - physically - meaning exercise and try to put yourself in a situation where you not around people who do not have bulit up hostility and/or lack of respect for you. ie.,. stuck up people who look down on africans


me personally i plan on guiding myself into a career situation where i live in another culture that values my manhood in Europe (ie France, Germany, Sweden) and that way i think i'll find my happiness there.

because i simply can't stand the non-sense i go thru here in the states within my own race-peer group and outside of my race with others (especially certain kinds of white americans)

 

BHAYES thanks bruh that was quite insightful im just hoping i will find a female who has brack obama's mom's attitude because she married barack snr (have you seen a picture of barack snr?) and she was very beautiful.I am feverishly waiting for the summer when i will be closer to some of you delectable white women and i am gonna put on my african charm and y'all cant resist me lol