How do you think divorce settlements should be handled???

There you go talking about me again . Instead of sticking to your guns, why not pull them out lol.

 

With my divorce I just wanted to be away from him as quickly as possible. I damn near had to call the police on him to get him to leave in the first place. In the end, I walked away with nothing and despite my graciousness in not trying to fuck -him- over he made sure to take everything that meant anything to me.

I wish he'd have been rich, cause then I'd at least have had the oppourtunity to be one of them greedy bitches. I would've taken his money because of the pain he caused me, though, not because I didn't want to let go of his wallet. Not that money could ever erase that shit, but he doesn't fucking deserve to have anything except a hard time after the shit he did to me.

Because of my experiences I don't instantly assume these chicks take the money because they're greedy, though. I always wonder what else might have happened behind the scenes that no one else is privy to. Especially when you consider these uppity pricks who lord their money over you in the first place. My ex didn't make much but I still rarely saw a dime of his shit. And it was HIS choice that I didn't work. So I had no choice but to stay home cause he wouldn't let me work. Now, over the course of my marriage had this fucker ever managed to apply himself at anything and keep a decent job you're damn right I would've been going after alimony because of all the years of potential earnings I wasted because he wouldn't let me get out of the damn house.

But that's my situation. I deserved a lot better in every way with that relationship, and in the end I just wanted out. I just wanted my life back. But I can't bring myself to just assume anything behind someone's actions in a divorce, cause I wasn't married to them. I certainly wish I could've gotten 20 gs a month alimony though. I wouldn't have student loans then. -_-

 

:smt018The other person can take it all.... money,car, house,except my last name take all that shit and shove it, once we're done we're done without a fight!!:smt084 i will acquire more of the same without her.

 

Exactly. No one but the people involved knows what really happened in their marriage.

Who are we to judge? And like others have said, celebrities aren't playing in the same ballpark as the rest of us. Their "needs" and whatnot are off the charts compared to ours.

 

Bookie get the fuck out here with that shit. We as people speculate all day as to why people do what they do but now its a cae of "we don't really know what went on in their marriage" because women get criticized for being gold diggers. Knock it off honey bun

Truth be told why people get divorced is irrelevant to me, I just don't like how people are treated afterwards. Especially when the parties are so emotional and either side rarely takes stock of what they did ot didn't do to help cause the failure of their marriage.

 

I have a question. How can someone force you not to work?

 

That's not required, that's why they choose to cite 'irreconcilable differences' as the reason for divorcing Andrae, then neither party has to prove or disprove anything related to the failure of the marriage.

 

She isnt a celebrity, she just happens to be married to a celebrity so her wants are irrelevant.... We all have the same needs food, water, and shelter (of course the size or amount of these vary from person to person) everything else is wants.

I only mentioned that article because it sparked my thoughts on the whole issue of divorce settlements. I said once before in an earlier post to not focus so much on the Mosley situation, but to focus on divorce settlements in general. I'm pretty sure everybody on here knows at least one person who is divorced. I just want people to speak on the situation with their own personal experiences whether they be 1st hand or 2nd hand experiences.

 

Well clearly unless they tie you up so you can't leave the house they can't force you not to. I suspect what she meant is he demanded she not work and she agreed to keep the peace. I did an awful lot of things I didn't like just to keep the peace in my marriage, so I understand that concept. If you are committed to staying married, and they just aren't reasonable, something has to give. You can either do as you please and everyone can live in a stressful environment, or you can do what's required for everyone to live in peace. It was simple math for me, everyone could be unhappy, or just I could be unhappy, clearly there was more sense to the later.

 

So then why does it seem as if most of them don't end peacefully. As far as I've seen its like war.

 

LOL, because it's not 'irreconcilable differences but we still want to be friends', it's often more like 'irreconcilable differences and I want him/her to suffer for causing those differences and I intend to exact my revenge by taking all their stuff, money, kids, etc.'

 

Lo fair enough. People can be so shitty at times. Its wonder why anyone dies marriage anymore.

 

that kind of crap is a bunch of BS. It does make women look like blood suckers for the most part. I dont care how rich you are you should not pay alimony (living expense) for a woman just so she can have perks such as a trainer and be able to buy jewelry. her lifestyle should be based on what SHE can pay for.

yes , in this case it is.

prenup sometimes are not admissible into divorce court. I am going to tell you this and listen clearly. the lawyers, the police and the judicial system WILL lie to you. You will need to go to the law library and read and interpret for yourself so when you go before the court and a lawyer they cant hoodwink you.

2 examples: My ex forged my name on mortgage document, notarized it and mailed it from alabama to cali and destroyed my credit. The federal D.A stated that because the value of the home was below 200000 that they will not investigate for mail fraud. I responded according to usc 18 sect 1341 neder vs us monetary damages doesnt come into play. he responded you are correct. we are not going to do it because y9ou are small potatoes.

the alabama D.A convicted my ex (didnt go after the notary dispite the info given) told me that I have to sue my ex for messing up my credit. i looked that up and found they was suppose to help me sue her for reperations and have my credit automaticaaly repaired thus he lied about that. so I got to go and get that done. in the beginning the police lied about the standards of evidence to convict someone. I looked it up and approached the cop and reported him to his superiors then they went and got her.

educate yourself before you talk to anyone because they will shaft you.

 

or I was cheating on my hubby and I dont want no one to find out. plenty of atty's have told me that men would let women fly with that because of the following:

1) they just want to get the divorce over with

2) they will look weak if it came out she was tip toeing out on him so they want to save face. Usually the women will bring that irreconcilable differences bullshit up

 

I read this post earlier and refrained from replying whilst I was angry. Now I just don't care.

I'm telling you that I'm not going to reply to this because you have made your views on women perfectly clear and I no longer wish to engage in topics with you where you continually diss women like you do. So have at it if you want, I won't be a party to it anymore.

Have a good day.

 

You've obviously never lived anywhere in the middle of nowhere. My home town has extremely limited bus service (one stop, middle of town, the "bus" shows up with a frequency of about 3-4 hours.) and most of the people who live there live 6+ miles outside the center of it.

My roads don't have sidewalks, either, and even though walking at least 6 miles to get to work isn't completely inconceivable the reason there are no sidewalks is because about 90 percent of the road winds around mountains. There's no room. On top of that the extreme weather (annual blizzards, crazy ass thunderstorms) and walking is a silly idea, at least if you're forced to do it for work.

Add into it that my husband was a controlling, jealous asshole and I was pretty much not allowed to go anywhere ever. I went with my cousin once to spend the night at her house. I got permission and everything. When I came home I was treated like shit because he was angry and convinced that I'd cheated on him somehow (I never even saw another penis in real life than his until I kicked him out and filed for divorce. He was -that- insecure). Eventually I stopped asking to go anywhere because it happened every time I went anywhere without him.

He also wouldn't give me a ride (see above explanation for what it's like in the middle of nowhere). The one time I managed to get a job at a shitty local grocery store it only lasted about 2 months because the only other person who would sometimes give me rides was my mother in law, and after that amount of time she just stopped showing up to get me at night.

I wasn't able to even get my driver's license until I was 22. And that was after I'd finally filed for divorce.

THAT'S how.

You can't expect me to believed you've never heard of anyone being controlled in a relationship. Abuse exists everywhere.

 

Not to the degree where one party isn't allowed to work. Sorry that happened to you P

 

I've seen it, and I've seen worse. A lot of these guys control every aspect of a girls life. If they do anything, including work, it's because the guy let's them. Men like that are pieces of shit who don't deserve to share my oxygen.

But yeah, it's why I can't judge what happens during a divorce, because -no one- realized what was going on with my ex. They all thought I'd chosen to stop speaking to them, when in reality I was being manipulated and downright told to stop talking to my friends and family in a lot of cases.

Money doesn't necessarily mean a dude (or chick) isn't crazy. From the shit we see in the magazines and online I'd bet a higher percentage of rich people are batshit than normal people. I don't know how often the shit behind the scenes has been bad for those people because I'm not them, but because the sheer possibility of it exists I can't make a call. It's stupid when it's for the wrong reasons, but coming from a horrible marriage I can say with absolute certainty that had that motherfucker got a ton of money while we were married I would've took as much as possible from him in the divorce. Being his wife nearly killed me on many occasions and I'd certainly be due some payback for all the crap that I endured because of him.

I don't care how often it's for the wrong reasons, we can't know what actually went down. Frankly, I don't think we should even care, cause it has no bearing on our own lives. I honestly don't even know who those people are, and the only link I have to anything celebrity related comes from this site. I enjoy their work but what they do on their own time is none of my business really, and most of the time it doesn't interest me.

 

Great post, DH!!

My sister is in a controlling marriage. He lets her work, but he keeps her pretty occupied when she's not working. She rarely goes anywhere alone.

And when she started going on business trips, she went alone. Then one time (this happened years ago) she wasn't in her room to answer my brother-in-law's call and all hell broke loose. He accused her of cheating, etc.

Next thing you know, he's going with her on every single business trip. Of course they (he) passes it off as little vacations for them, but the family knows the real reason. And if you didn't know that story, you'd believe him when he says it's (only) a little vacation for them.

 

Why stay in a relationship like that though especially if you earn your own money? This is complete culture shock for me.