Blacks struggle with 72% unwed mothers rate

Actually Esp it is possible for a man to be liable for taking care of another man's kid if he had been taking care of it for years. There are women who sleep around and aren't sure of who the father is so they pick the man who will be there for them regardless of whether he's the father or not.

 

We have seen this proven false as generation after generation more and more children are being raised with just mothers.

Its sort of the chicken before the egg. A very large number of abused children come from single parent homes, who then grow up to be single parents themselves which keeps the cycle going....

And generation after generation the ills of society find more and more troops.

...well actually crime in the black community, though high, has not risen to the level that researchers predicted, but do you know why...

...its because the number of black men that should be committed those; the men that should have fathered them never lived to do so.

 

Espy,

I disagree with you a bit here.
1. Different states have different time limits on how long a man has to disprove paternity. Some states have none you are considered the father at birth. Also, if a woman can conceal her decption for that time period the man cannot discharge his financial so called responsibility. Lastly, saying he should have gotten a paternity test sounds to me like two things, victim blaming, and that any man who trusts a woman is stupid, surely you don't believe that? Most men believe their significant other will at least be honest about that, are you saying that most women are lying cheaters and they need to be paternity testing all the time?

2. You cannot argue against the current divorce separation laws without mentioning women. It's not a matter of women being evil, it's a matter of unfair laws being in play during a painful and stressful time in someone's life. If tomorrow they passed a law saying men could put their wives and girlfriends in jail for emotinal abuse without any proof people would understand that the law needs to be removed because it gives an unfair advantage to men especially during divorces. The laws regarding paternity and divorce need to be removed because they give an unfair advantage to women during a divorce. This leads to the men who have been burned by the system shunning second marriages, and leading to less trust, marriage, intimacy and good will between men and women.

3. Many men simply don't have the money to fight for their children in court. The woman is basically financed by the state, if the man has no means he is screwed. To say he should have magially come up with money is sort of like saying she should have somehow fought off the rapist, it's simply an unfair statement.

 

all are excellent post and it is that we are discussing from our point of views due to our prejudices and we are trying to be object as possible. Thus I will say this WHY SHOULD A MAN OR WOMAN FIGHT FOR THE RIGHT TO SEE HIS/HER CHILD ? that is the most insane thing in the world. That is one thing that should not be fought about. the person who has the child on a fulltime basis should allow the other parent see the child unlimited and unfettered for the well being of the child. I can understand about the assets (thats life) but fight over the child both need to be horse whipped or the one giving the other hell about it.

The law I was talking about pertained to GA. I saw on dateline where a dude was married to a woman and they had about 4 kids. 3 were from otyhjer men she had while they were married. he had no clue. when they got divorce it came out because one of the kids were ill and needed bld and he was not a match. then he checked the rest. the courts told him he is obligated to pay because the kids knew him. that is some fucked up shit.

Men get the shaft no matter what. A friend of mine got in an argument with his wife. she came at him with a bat. he took the bat away from her. he called the PO PO and they took him away in cuffs and him and his wife had to do anger management. the police told him " cause you are the man you have to leave the house. that is the law."---alabama


I was watching PBS and there were 2 women and a man who have nonprofit organizations that oversee abuse. they were naming dumb shit as abuse.If a woman is going somewhere and he ask where are you going and when should I expect you back they stated that is abouse.

I was at church and a counselor said the same bullshit IE... if a man tells a woman hey you drive my car because it is the better car and I will drive your bucket...they claimed that as abuse because it is a form of control. I responded that is crazy because if my woman has the child and she has a bucket then I want her to drive my car because it is the good one and so she will not get stranded. But he was adament about his position. the men was like that is bullshit

A fine example was Kim basinger and alec baldwin. I truly believe Kim was acting a fucking ass. I tell you why .... his daughter has a private line for his child to talk to him. that means kim has being a serious ass.

 

I apologize about misinterpeting something you said.


However, everything I posted above is preventing the women in the AA community for wanting a change or respecting men to lead. Everything above gives them the power to believe they can do it themselves. Now Im not gonna try to be elitist on this topic, but the men who could be leaders or should be leaders are not held up. Never. The women have had 40 years to learn the system and be independent and most not all but most don't want to go back to trusting in a males leadership.

I have seen too many of the Better to reign in Hell examples of women choosing to live life on their own accord and not trusting in a qualified good man to lead them. They don't want to give up the power. Not all but a lot don't want to give up that power. And even if they did, when you have a court system that will back them up 90/100 times in divorce hearings, the police that they can call and make up a false charge against you, a system that will put a roof over their head, food on the table and medicine for their kids, then they have no reason to want to have even a on point man lead them.

It gives a false reality of "STRONG AND INDEPENDENT". As much as I dont like the Republician mantra, if they ever cut out welfare, and free food and medicine, for folks, then your points would have ground. I might actually crack a smile, because women would have to start choosing better men for survival purposes.

Sorry if I'm not respected as the captain of my ship and you know I'm more than qualified to run my ship , then I'm not gonna let you on board. Pure plain and simple.

Oh sure you hear it said and repeated all the time, but in practice, its hard to do. Its almost tantamount to a child leaving home, coming back and having to live under their folks roof and rules again. I have heard this at least 50 times form women who are sucessful to women who aren't. The culture is to be strong and independent. That's qualities a man should have . Unless it the military, no man wants to battle for leadership with another man .

 

Exactly in practice your quote above is pure gold and fire

 

cant rep yall fast enough. cant agree on every little thang but I cosign overall

 

the problem is that the media has molded our minds in believing that women dont cheat or cheat very little and men dont understand how to handle committments. also they have men believe that they deserve to go thru hell in a divorce...ie pay for everythang because women are entitled.

If men really banned together and fite these laws it would be better. Im not saying slant them towards men's favor but be balanced. The problem men need to ban together. men usually will not do this because it seems catty because it is a relationship issue. soon it will need to be done because of kids and economical well being. especially for the kids

 

A leader is a leader because he has within him the quality that give followers confidence. If black women don't follow that is because black men aren't the leaders that "pretend" to be.

Its not because black women woke up one day and said "I'm gong to live alone" or "you know what, I think I'll have a child and raise that child alone" YEAHHH. Black men allowed themselves to be pushed out. In essence what you are saying is "Let a man be a man" DAMN THAT...you don't have to LET a man be a man he IS a man.

Black women have had to be strong, had to be independent...in the absence of black men what else could be expected of them? How many in this very forum was raised by moms, or grand mother?

...and blaming the system, the media, black women prove what I have saying about "US"..........we are weak, and instead of collectively taking responsibly we are quick to blame everyone else. For the entire rest of the country black men are being left out, left by, and left behind.

 

Thank you! I think you made this point better than I could have!

 

Ok folks were raised by their mothers and grand mothers.. Guess what so a a lot of the criminals in jail today as well. So nice try on the Matricial theme which isn't in any other race. I'm sorry you keep thinking saying the system is covering black womens , hell any woman's back is a excuse. I have seen it too many times sorry.

I refuse to take responsibility for women who chose to breed with the wrong men. I refuse to be a captain save a hoe for someone who 9/10 wants me to help them raise their child and pretend to care for me until its time for the kid to leave.

I refuse to take responsibility for someone who will not even look at me till their 35-40 and past their prime in reproductive years. No man the fact your discounting how the government support can give someone a certain mind frame is just SHMDH.. No the weak ones are those who fall for the games and breed with the guys they know who are no good.

Ill be weak for not wanting unecessary drama in my life thank you. Do me a favor ask some of the non strong women who are on assistance what would ahppen if they lost it. how they would act, and what they would do . you would find real "strength" then I bet

Once again this is a cultural thing I'm strong and independent . A lot of black men who are sucesssful aren't gonna deal with it. Pure plain and simple.

You can apologize and play the hero to these women who make bad decisions in life, but at the end of the day , it comes down to their bad selection in men. Most of the leaders I suppose are strong enough in mind to either find a sane black women which 85% of black men do or just go to where they are respected as men for their earning power and how they can treat a woman right . Funny a lot of these independent ones know who the good men were when them were choosing the playas, thugs, bad boys and giving up the best years of their lives to them. Then turn around and flip the script on these guys when they get older. they don't demand these men to be men until they get older in life.

To counter your other point, I find it funny a lot of the sucessful black men were raised in homes with a father in it . A lot of us were raised in female only homes, but a lot of the sucessful leaders were raised in homes with the father not only in it but running it.

Finally a leader cannot lead no matter how qualified he is if the soliders will follow him up to a point and then question his every action. A leader cannot lead if soliders can rebel and have the heads of the army cover the soliders back....


Seriously if Welfare and public housing and assistance were gone man a majority of the black women would be so different acting towards black men you would think we were on another planet. The chickens are comming home to roost for those who choose bad men .Its about to get worse trust me. that number is about to get higher. You don't throw away your best in their youth and expect to have great results with the worse. Its against common sense.

When government assistance and courts start to make fair rulings , and not try to make a business off the "weak" mans wages then you will have a point. I guess the Africians who were raised in Africa and come over here and refuse to date black women are weak also ? They were leaders and raised to be men mostly as well but they refuse to even look at a AA woman. Well most anyway not all but most. So I guess world wide all black men are weak now also huh?

Nope the word is out about these women . I hate to say it or type it but that's the truth. I dont want it to be but the reality of the situtationis that Uncle Sam is giving a lot of these SIBW programs and opportunities out there in the world. He got housing for them and child support system. Until this ends the weak arguments hold no water . Until there are more consequences for folks having lots of kids out of wedlock I mean 4-5 with differnet fathers then your argument holds no water. Until better women make better choices in men and vice versa , your gonna continue to have this problem. Until the thug, bad boys is not given equal ground in our community respect and dating wise then your argument holds no water. I'm in sharp disagreement with you on this issue .

 

got damn dude , you said what needed to be said. I could not have said it better. You can be a great leader all you want ( abe lincoln , the civil war, ronald reagan split house and everyone fought like cats and dogs, bill clinton the tried to impeach him) they are going to go after you if they are a knuckle head.

those hoes were running up behind dudes that were shit. I remember I was talking to a chick that dissed me in college. later on she stated lets hook up but I was taken at the time. we became friends and she stated she had regrets. here what she stated...at the time I tried to holla at her she dissed me because she stated I had no game. the dude she got with did but what happend to her ...he cheated and you know the rest. now she is all in my kool aide. I told her , jokingly, because I had no game. she stated yeah. I said that is a good thang because love is not a game. love involves feelings and your feelings are not something to be played with like a game. she looked real stupid and then responded " I know that now"