Why I usually don't look at BBW

I actually see the opposite around here. The BM/WW couples I see are predominantly nice looking, well built, fit WW with BM who are also fit. I see a few where both the WW and BM are what I would characterize as overweight, and a few where one or the other is overweight and their partner is not. I see far more overweight WW with fit WM, and overweight BW with fit BM... astoundingly more.

As for your assertion that overweight WW with fit BM is covert racism, I'd say that depends on the reasons they're together. If that's what he likes, that's his business and he should be free to pursue whatever body type appeals to him. If she's with him solely because she believes black men are the only men who would be receptive to her, and she's not actually attracted to him but merely chose him based upon that belief, then yes I see why you'd term that covert racism. Anytime skin color is the sole, or predominant reason for any type of behavior, it's likely racism IMO.

 

Well made point Esp. I guess a lot of the overweight women I know who date bm constantly say "WM don't like me" so its easy to assume the racial component.
I really need to start traveling around the country because so many of you swear that a lot of fit bm are dating ww and I rarely see that here and this is supposedly the big melting pot of the country/world.

 

I actually never paid attention to it until I joined WWBM and started hearing all the crap about how only bottom of the barrel WW date BM, and the South is still intolerant to IR. So I started looking around and that just doesn't hold up here. I see BM/WW IR every single time I leave the house and I'd estimate 80% are young couples with kids. The couples I see are typically what most would consider appropriate weight/fit, and the women are almost always what I'd term pretty. I honestly can't think of any couple I've seen who fit the bottom of the barrel WW with fit BM stereotype. Hell my next door neighbor's wife is what I'd consider stunning and they've been married 7 years and have two kids. My daughter is also thin and beautiful and she's always dated IR. I just don't see any validity in my area to what you describe, but I don't doubt that you see it. I wonder sometimes though how much of it is that people see what they expect to see? Meaning that they notice the overweight WW with BM because that's what they believe is most common? I always try to objectively look at everyone, and in fact I'm more conscious of IR couples now because I never see what some of y'all describe.

 

:smt038 On point as always Espy.
I was holding my tongue on this one cause I couldnt be as diplomatic and level-headed as you are.

 

For me its no seeing what I expect to see otherwise I wouldn't be shocked when I see a good looking bm with a good looking ww. Interesting pov though Esp. Really digging your posts lately.

 

Tam I'm not disagreeing with you but it does seem to disproportionately be more bm/ww couples. Take a look at most ir dating site. Way more big girls who are into bm on there than skinny ones. I'm just saying.

 

Dating sites are not accurate samples because on the internet people aren't always what they say they are. For all you know those pictures of big women belong to skinny men behind the computer.


There are far more important injustices in the world to be pissed about than who someone else dates and what their motives are for it. Why not worry about all the little kids going to bed hungry at night cause they're parent(s) can't get shit thanks to losing their jobs in this shitty economy?! Why not worry about the miseducation of our youth, and us allowing our future to be taught a false past?! Worry about people in danger, or in need, or hurt, or dying...don't worry about what some other dude likes sticking his dick into. It makes you come off in a terrible light because yet again, here you go with this old bullshit. How many times must you discuss this without actually getting anywhere in the conversation? You never change your opinion, no one else changes theirs, and it always end up in an argument.

....so what's the point?!

 

Boy can I think of a bunch of reasons for that which have nothing do with the 'WM don't want 'em' theory.

Such as:

-- skinny women have more success with offline dating than BBWs so they don't need to go to the online dating sites

-- more skinny women were raised by families not open to IR

-- more BBWs have self-esteem issues due to weight and therefore seek online dating because it's less rejection prone, or the rejection from strangers is less hurtful

-- more women in general don't have a lot of black men available in their area, i.e. Australia, and so go online to meet black men

I'm not saying I believe any of the above to be true, I'm just saying anytime I see something like that, I ponder a myriad of possible reasons, rather than honing in on one. Those theories are every bit as plausible as yours IMO, and most likely its a combination of everything mentioned and whole bunch of stuff we'd never think of. You never know what motivates someone, and I just don't see the point in critiquing them as their lives are theirs to live and it's none of my business who they date.

I get why you're irritated, you see it often and you believe that it reinforces the stereotype in other people's minds. In essence you are offended on behalf of all BM who get devalued because of crap like this. Did it ever occur to you that WW are just as tired of all the crap we have to listen too? Yet I don't get offended on behalf of all WW everywhere when I hear that we're all busted down, deficient, spineless, fat asses. Ignorance will always abound Andrae, you can't change that, but you can refuse to fall prey to it.

 

Andrae I'm with you. I observe a lot of people and there are certain patterns that I see. Most IR couples that are bm/ww feature an overweight white girl and an average to fit bm. To me it makes perfect sense when you look at the overweight statistics of America. The majority of WW in America are overweight(around 60%). What are the chances that most black men pick from the remaining 40%? Unlikely. In the same token 80% of black women are considered overweight in America and the majority of BM/BW relationships I see feature an overweight black woman. I know people on here claim that they see fit IR couples all the time but I just have a hard time believing it because of my personal experience and what I have researched.

 

Seriously? You're going to question that something exists because you've never seen it personally? A bit narrow-minded don't you think? There is a lot that I haven't seen or experience personally, but I'm not so arrogant that I think that means it doesn't exist. I can't see oxygen, but I know it's there... Nepenthes holdenii was only recently discovered in Cambodia, but clearly it existed even though people weren't aware of it... hell I've never seen Nessie, but I'm pretty sure there's something in that lake. My point is, just because you don't observe it doesn't mean it doesn't exist, and thinking like that only ensures you're unlikely to know differently. I don't question that other people like Andrae do see that on a regular basis, however I know I do not.

BTW I thought your girl was MsKourtney and if the pics she posted are actually of herself, she doesn't fit the BBW stereotype you're pushing... so how is it you can't acknowledge something that's literally right in front of you?

 

Love your new avi! I saw that pic in the shoes thread and meant to tell you it's gorgeous.

 

We get it.

You like to bump threads like this and then watch the drama unfold.

Nice try.

 

Please don't ever leave this forum Espy. We really need you here and we appreciate your presence. The fact alone that you joined and stayed this long is wonderful in itself. You're a stand-up kinda gal and a class-act through and through.
Rep added.:smt023

 

Thank you Tony, it's members like you that keep me coming back, even when I try not to.

 

Yep. Too bad for Iggy we're all managing to remain civil... now he'll have to go find some other drama prone thread to dust off and bump.

 

I would rep you but it says I gotta spread it around *sigh*

 

You're my shero. :smt039

 

There's just entirely too much politeness and love in this thread y'all. If someone doesn't say something mean, degrading, or hurtful soon, the divisive, dissension seekers are just gonna be all kinds of disappointed.