If you find yourself in a scary movie

Or maybe it could be me tryna get it in with you :smt029

 

LOL - I say nay to that if its anything like that goofy movie "cellular" or "signal" where ghosts came out of the phones or anything electronic.

 

Gonna break off into the zombie section.

If your loved one has been infect with the T-Virus or whatever and is now a zombie, don't stand there calling their name like you're gonna talk some sense into their rottin', stankin', funky asses. What little brain they have left done rotted away and was stepped on by the Chainsaw Majini. It's gone and they're gone. Leave the shit alone. Then your retard ass wants to go in for a hug hoping that some corny sentimental movie shit happens where they snap out of it. You stupid shit. They're about to feast on your ass like an Italian family in an Olive Garden commercial. *OM NOM NOM* there, you happy? Now you're one of them. You can be brainless tards together.

Oh, and if you get infected, go out like a badass like dude from Resident Evil: Extinction and take a million brain munchers with you. Hell, I might blaze up a joint just for the fuck of it like he did.

If you see your friend getting eatn by zombies, don't hesitate to shoot at them. Claire did that shit in Resident Evil: Extinction and dude fuckin' died.

Rule 13: If you have a chainsaw, you are only badass for as long as the gas in it lasts....and if you don't die. If you die before the gas runs out, you aren't badass and are most likely benetah a human being.





I miss watching scary movies with my dad and laughing at all the retards. Shit never gets old to us.

 

LMFAO!!

That was a funny read... See, that is exactly what I love to do w scary movies.. I love to add narrations to the dumb shiet

 

also, if you ride into zombie town on a horse... you pass a bunch of zombies.. turn a corner and encounter a massive group of zombies- for heavens sake, DONT TURN BACK from where you came from - there were a bunch o zombies there you soon to be dead idiot...

 

if the evil only comes out at night...make sure you actually get home before sunset and you're not out still trying to get home

also, always make sure that all vehicles have a full tank of gas and are serviced daily

 

Don't walk around in a parking garage by yourself.

 

The only thing that pisses me off about horror movies, is that the characters have to do stupid shit in the first place to make the movie be more than a short film. If you put smart characters in horror movies and they followed everything we have been posting here, then the movie would be over in 3 minutes.

 

True. :smt042

 

JORDIE....!!!!! SEXY WOMAN....LOOK AT THOSE LEGS...!!!:smt118

 

Cosign that!!!!

 

For real!!! Jordan just owned this thread without talking about horror movies. :smt049

 

Jaisee that!

 

But sometimes it take a minute to realize there is a psycho on the loose. Half the time, they don't find their friends' bodies until much later stuffed in closets, or hanging up in the rafters and they fall, or in the car trunk...

I loved Nightmare on Elm, because she was smart, she went in and got his ass.

 

Even if what you said applied, if there were smart characters in the movie it would be over in 30 mins lol. Nightmare on Elm St was my shit. Horror movies of today just arent scary, the old ones like Halloween and Friday the 13th use to scare the shit out of me when I was little.

 

A lot of the old school formulas have been regurgitated. Don't forget the Exorcist. And HellRraiser. Really Unique horror movies. Satanic movies no longer scare people, nor do obscure entities/aliens with powers. Though Jeepers Creepers was good. And I liked Final Destination.

 

Thank you.

I just wanted to add the parking garage as I went out last night with friends and was wandering around the parking garage alone looking for my car and started thinking of geeks thread. I felt like running around the garage screaming between the cars but their were no bad guy weirdos in there so it would have looked funny.

 

If I was in a horror movie and since I am a black man, through no fault of my own I'd probably be killed-off by the writers within the first 10 minutes of the script.:smt102

 

In a zombie movie-


Don't become attached to anyone. If anyone survives in a zombie movie it will likely be only one person. Those who get attached end up eaten, just like their loved ones.

Guns are your life. Without them, you are nothing.

If you are unable to find guns, find the largest, solid blunt object you can carry comfortably. Baseball bat with nails is a good choice.

Supermarkets are good targets, but there will always be obese zombies inside. Zombies are drawn to familiar places.

Beware large places that look empty of zombies. Chances are some dick with a gun is in there and will probably shoot you.

Motorcycles are your best bet for transportation. They're more maneuverable in large groups of stalled/wrecked cars.

Travel in groups. Follow rule number one (don't get attached) and you have yourself a meat shield. Zombies are like bears...you don't have to outrun them, you just have to outrun the slowest member of your group.

If it's not raining and something drips on your shoulder (especially if you're inside) shoot upwards before you look. Looking will trigger the zombie jumping on your face.

Never assume a zombie is dead until you've shot it in the head. Ever. Double Tap (A La Zombieland) to ensure it's death every time.